Ladies,

My MBTI: INTJ. [40% F]
My Sign: Capriquarius.
My Jeans: 30x30.

I seek new friends, firstly.

I am intelligent, snarky, resourceful, atypical.

I am quite quiet, and shy, until I get to know you.

I can find/make the funny/best of almost any situation.

I have a pool table in my barn, a fire-pitted patio by the water, and a hammock under the black walnut tree.

I don't play an instrument, video games, D&D, nor read comics often.. but many of my friends do.

I am divorced, amicably ..it was a few years ago.

I have a #-year-old child, some of the time.

I own a cozy old home in the woods.

I have wheels.

I have worked in landscaping, retail, theatre/ studio/ stadium tech, systems admin, special education.

I've also been known to tinker in troubleshooting, interwebs stuff, pro-audio, production, publication.

I am plotting and scheming and acting towards a better future, for all.
Got any great Ideas..? Let's chat.

I SEEK, in potential 'better half': [≥75%]
A real woman [«- non-negotiable] who is healthy, strong, kind, caring, honest, (com)passionate, motivated, coordinated, flexible, sweet, witty, clever, patient, understanding, forgiving, cuddly, adorably flawed. A strong sense of wonder and curiosity, is a must. A proper respect for down-time, in balance with her adventurous spirit, would be nice. She must love herself, her life, her doings, her planet and its peoples and its critters. She must be willing to call me on my sh*t when I'm full of it.. I will do the same. The ability to take a joke at her own expense, then fling something impressive right back, is a plus. Bonus points for appropriately applied sarcasm, on the spot. Nerds and geeks (of any flavor) are always appreciated ..esp. as new friends.. Commonality of likes, interests, dislikes, usually helps ..find some/any ground herein to build upon.. A rocky life path having already been traveled does not trouble me ..we've all been wrong and stupid, had our arses kicked, hopefully [!] learned from it, moved beyond.. I seek smooth sailing [to mix metaphors] from here on out. Statistically, supposedly, I am best-fitted with either ENFP or ENTP ..but don't let any of this stop you, especially if you enjoy proving math wrong.. She must be able to turn me on with but a wink and a crooked smile by the desires implied, promised thereby.

Favorites: [current or long-standing, non-delineative order]

~ Books, by: Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Jim Butcher (Dresden Files), Dan Champagne (Abaddon Trilogy), Stephen King (Dark Tower), Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, Larry Niven, Michael Crichton, Shel Silverstein, Bill Watterson.

– Pass: (non)fictional tragedies, (auto)biographies, romance, 'tween/YA (some worthy exceptions).

~ Movies: sci-fi, fantasy, (oc)cult, supernatural, dystopian, alt. history/ future/ reality/ dimensionality, superhero, anti-hero, intelligent comedy, adventure; Proyas, Besson, Whedon, Abrams, Snyder, etc.

– Not so much: gratuitous violence (torture, über gore), artsy-fartsy (for no other purpose), chick flicks (without a happy ending ;).

~ TV Shows: Star Treks, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, etc., X-Files, Supernatural, etc., Simpsons, Futurama, Stewart/ Colbert; always willing to try S1D1s of afore-related movie genres.

– Not often: socially awkward comedy, crime dramas (95%), cooking; anything socialite, shopping, finances, gospel, politics, the news, twitter/ youtube-based, 'reality' tv, elimination contests, sports.

~ Tunes, by: Maynard Keenan (Tool, a Perfect Circle), Trent Reznor (NIИ), Tori Amos, Ben Harper (et al), Björk, Thom Yorke (Radiohead), Henry Rollins, Johnny Cash, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Morphine, Rusty Belle, Mike Patton (Faith No More, Tomahawk), Rasputina, Smashing Pumpkins, Epica, Ihsahn & Ihriel, Arcturus, Igorrr; (classic) rock, avant-garde, (black) metal, bluegrass, folk, local bands.

– Thumbs in ears, tongue outstuck: twangy country, showtunes, opera, rap, hip/hop, gospel. [respectfully]

~ Food: I'll try just about anything, three different ways. What I will end up liking is more than as much as usually I don't.. simply, because I love getting cooked for.

– Veto'd: mushrooms, heavy creams, fried chicken, fishy fish (that's not of sushi semblance), coconut, tofu.

I'm really good at: problem solving, critical listening, overthinking, advising, giving a damn.

Known for being: mostly reliable, fairly useful, overtly honest, humor-inducing, affectionately friendly.

'Typical' weekend evening:

I don't tend to wander far, wide. [≤35 miles]

–Not: at the bar, at a club, amidst (unfamiliar) crowds.

–Usually: in the warm glow of fire, food, family, friends, tunes; tv or movie, phablet or book.

–However: the gentle persuasions of a lovely lady will (more often than not) get me out and off my lot.

First 'Date': low-key, low volume, preferably.

Something else you want to know? Clarifications?
 Form-filled questionnaires leave much unanswered.
 Got some pre/dis-qualifiers you'd like/need to ask?
  Ask. [..otherwise, we'll never know for sure..]

  –No.. I'm not looking for pants-off dance-off, right away. But that's real sweet of you.

¡Please! No pervy-creepers, no head-gamers, no evernutters.

Be well.

ps...Still with me..? Cool. Tag, your move.

pps. To [slightly mis-]quote Winston Churchill– "When you have to shoot a man down, it costs nothing to be polite about it."

DHHS,

I am writing to Appeal your latest Food Stamp Determination.

– I have no additional source(s) of income, yet.

– My Social Security Disability hasn't been altered.

– I am back in school, such that I might improve upon myself.

– My mortgage payment went down $100. I finally made up for an escrow deficit.

– I just changed homeowner's insurance, at the wrong time. I have a new escrow deficit.

– My previous car was a limited edition with 60k miles on it, but wouldn't pass inspection.
I fair-traded it for a lesser-car with 100k miles, which would pass inspection, this year.

– My monthly fhone, electricity, car/life insurance, medications haven't changed.

– You decreased my food stamp benefits by $### a month.
Verily rendering it unhelpful.

Kindly, explain your maths.

Is it because I've kept a balance on my EBT card?
Allow me to elucidate…

My fridge/freezer up and died on me a few months ago, while fully stocked, when I wasn't around to notice, all hands lost. I haven't yet raised the funds required to replace it. I've been eating out of a dorm-room mini-fridge. Not much space inside. I've nearly exhausted my emergency supply of dry, canned, saucepan goods. My evening class is at the same/only time as the Food Pantry is open in my hometown. I've been saving up my food stamps for when I do procure a proper fridgeplacement, as it'll have to be stocked, with condiments, produce, and such. I was looking forward to again preparing decent meals in my own home, soon.

That extra $100 saved on my mortgage the past few months gave me a chance to breathe…

– I got my first haircut in over a year.

– I fixed my brakes, which had sounded like I was dragging a sack of cats behind my car.

– Speaking of cats– mine hadn't gotten a proper checkup, nor updated vaccinations, in two years.

– I was able to resupply some essentials– like good tp, plastics, soaps, dental, shaving gear.

– I had enough spare gas money to re-attend my weekly disability support group.

– I thought I'd be able to afford a merry xmas for my #-year-old child, this year.

– I was able to reinstate BRAND DVDs through the mail, for entertainment.

– I invested in vaping gear, such that I could/did finally quit tobacco.

– The windfall hadn't yet allowed for new socks, underwear.

– I still cannot afford high-speed internet, nor television.

– Now, I am without sufficient food resources…

Care to help me out?
Be well.

ps. Or mayhap, I could have applied that extra hundred towards getting Medicare B…

HOSPITAL,

I cannot kayak, swim, snowshoe, run, throw a ball. I cannot roughhouse with my daughter. I must play carefully with her, always. If my neck gets twisted, or I get jolted, I'm down on the floor, whimpering. Not something a #-year-old can truly comprehend as not her fault, nor should she have to see.

I cannot pull a rake or shovel snow. I cannot swing an axe, a hammer, a dead cat, without damaging myself. I cannot turn a screw. My home and yard have fallen into disrepute while I've watched, helpless to do anything but feel helpless about it.

I cannot stand, or sit around, for more than a spell. I cannot sleep on my left side anymore. I have only a few upright hours a day, then I'm flat-out the rest, doing little productive. I can barely jockey a computer now… My stock and trade for 20 years. No matter the interface configuration, I've exhausted them all. Even my thumbs go arthritic-claw after an hour on a smartfhone/ tablet.

I am back in school though, one class a semester, to better myself, and my future prospects, once I get better. Straight A's. Fortunately, the payments on my tuition loans are nil, for now.

I wake up and fall to sleep hurt, every day. My mental health is deteriorating, resultant. I will not take opioids. We all know where that leads. I was nearly sucked down that black hole when first I was injured.

I receive foodstamps. A whole $16 a month. The rest of my food comes from the local pantry, where donation quality has suffered of late. Dented foreign-brand cans, junk food, tertiary cuts of expired (then frozen) meat, nary a fresh fruit or vegetable to be had again 'til Spring. I splurge twice a year on take-out pizza: garlic and pepperoni.

I haven't purchased new clothes, music, books, or other media, in four years. I've been living without home internet or TV just as long. My car only gets two tankfuls of gas a month. I'm on heating and electrical assistance. I certainly cannot raise the funds for surgery, nor the requisite pre/post-op procedures.

I cannot afford Medicare B. I would have to forego my mobile phone, and car/life insurance, to cover that monthly cost. Not a viable option. I've contacted the public-aid services. They cannot help me as Social Security already does, "too much so" to qualify for any insurance/ deductible/ medication assistance.

Both my PCP and your very own doctors concur that surgery is required to fix me. No question, my injury is the linchpin of my disfortune. It has prevented me from moving forward and contributing, instead of just receiving, which doesn't sit well with me. However…

I require, and ask kindly for, your assistance. I'm fragile and weak, in constant pain, getting worse, and going nowhere with my life, for years now. All because of my condition. Something I have no ability to do anything about. Believe me, I've done tried, every other which way.

Please, help me.
Be well.

BRAND,

I am writing to follow up on your considerations for EBT acceptance.

Given your latest endeavors to tackle the grocery industry, you have a unique opportunity here for proper application of the SNAP. You could show others how it should be done. Mayhap then they'll follow your lead…

As a retail powerhouse, you can carve your own path. As an online marketplace, the case could easily be made that the applicable rules be different from other grocers. Be the first to enact responsible usage of the program, by only allowing ‘real’ food to be charged to EBT, as opposed to your competition. And, by offering healthy full-meal kits, to ensure we can get a few balanced dinners a week.

I would assume there's state/federal databases somewhere that show what foodstuffs are purchased with EBT. If they're not tracking UPCs, shame on them. It'd be fascinating/ disheartening to see how many bags of BRAND are bought with taxpayers' money monthly. And, would serve as a solid example of how the program is being misused. [Sorry, BRAND, you're not real food.]

Gather some studies (and guidelines) from nutritionists, medical doctors, psychologists, that demonstrate the deleterious effects of junk food on health (physical, mental, emotional). They aren't hard to find. Calculate how much money is being wasted on non-nutritious foods. By vendor, if possible. Draw up some charts that detail how much better you could serve the public interest. Then approach the USDA and present your plan to save money, improve health, better apply their program's intended purpose. It is difficult to refute hard data, while making it easier to justify policy change.

My inspiration for this letter, and how you could aid in properly feeding the poor, came while standing in line at a membership warehouse. I witnessed a morbidly obese customer successfully charge a fifty-pack of candy bars and five pounds of jelly beans (alongside bulk chips, cookies, soda) to their EBT. I was angered (and a little disgusted) to see that blatant misuse of the program (as a form of state-assisted slow suicide). That was obviously never the intent, but a sad reality of its inherent shortcomings.

Kindly, help do something to mitigate these issues. You're the only business with the vision/ compassion/ wherewithal to do it right, finally.

Be well.

Grocer,

Requiring your patrons to declare aloud that they are using EBT as payment is rather uncouth. Often, earshot customers (and even cashiers) give an unconscious, ungracious sideways glance when they hear that.

To avoid this, I instead tried simply holding up my card when the question arose. Four out of five times the cashier stated, "EBT." Again, generating dirty looks.

You should consider upgrading your POS to silently pose this question, or automatically deduce the payment method when swiped. Privacy, and all that.

I am forced to reconsider my choice of grocer based solely upon your unintentional sensitivity blunder.

It is not conducive to positive customer relations to ‘out’ the poor upon their every visit.

Be better.

Social Security,

It has been some time since last we conversed.
I wanted to update you on my progress.

During my time on Disability:

– I became a CONFIDENTIAL.

– I graduated college. Got my degree, finally.

– I conceived/compiled a 50-domain-large construct on digital socialism.

– I spoke up for the rights of the downtrodden, the poor, the hungry, the disabled.

– I wrote four books on the same topics, from the perspective of one who's been there.

– I extracted/published 2,500 pages of respectable supernatural fantasy from the mind of a schizophrenic.

– I helped prototype a new design for CONFIDENTIAL. More work to be done, more funds to be raised.

– I founded three small businesses. Two still exist. They don't generate enough to live on, yet.

– I contributed to the brain trust of CONFIDENTIAL. Coming soon.

Thank you for keeping me alive until one of my prospects comes to fruition. Shouldn't be long now.

Tips to survive having nothing productive to do all/every day… from one who hard-learned how.

– Try to find the good in your (newfound) purposelessness.

– Watch no more than 6 hours of tv a day– and not every day.

– Don't sit there eating crap– find new, healthy, portioned snacks.

– Have a routine, even a simple one– an hour this, an hour that… every day.

– Don't sleep your time away– 9 hours max. Naps no more than twice weekly.

– Have projects to nag at you– organize, create, destroy…

– Read, read, read, write.

– Clean up after yourself.

– Clean up yourself, at least thrice weekly.

– Don't focus on downer media– unless you require a solid emotional dump. No more than twice monthly.

– Try some new music, books, shows– stuck in a rut with nowhere (new) to explore is no place to remain.

– Have a few weekly obligations– places to be, faces to see. [not so much during the covid]

– Try to remake an old, good, lost friend. Repeat.

– Learn some new skill, preferably useful– to keep your mind/hands busy.

– Occasionally do something nice for someone who deserves it– don't just buy them some crap.

– Stay off BRAND(.com)– don't blow your money trying to buy happiness, it won't work.

– Have puzzles to solve, not (just) of the jigsaw variety.

– Learn how to cook a few (more) good, staple meals.

– Drugs/booze won't help.

– Exercise– it sucks, but helps you feel better, eventually– keep at it.

– Be nice to your family/pets– it's easy to vent your frustration by insulting them, pointing out their flaws.

– Discover your superpower– don't be discouraged when you can't do shit, right away. Keep trying (at others).

– Accomplish something​, every day– beyond simply surviving the day.

– Don't be a useless, sad sack of crap.

– Chin up, this too shall pass… followed by some new, fresh hell to endure.

Senators, Representative,

There are two issues I would like to address: Fuel Assistance and Home Affordable Mortgages.

Fuel Assistance: I have been on this program for years. I heat with firewood. I have an oil heater, but the program provides insufficient funds to make it through the cold seasons on only that. Firewood will suffice, but only if I buy green wood. Trouble is, that requires time to season if it is to be effective that year. Delivery is now out to December. Which means green firewood is useless. So, seasoned/dry firewood, being far more expensive, has to be purchased, which won't provide enough to stay warm. Further, heat costs most in Winter. [Who benefits?]

The point– If those of us who need fuel assistance are to get through this upcoming winter, and we are many more this year, we need our firewood/fuel now. Elsewise, you'll be overpaying for not enough.

Government Mortgages: I am on HAMP. I am on Social Security. My home value is underwater. I bought back before the last housing crash. For years now, discussions have gotten nowhere regarding Principal Reduction on Home Affordable mortgages. Many more homes are now on the brink of disaster. You can afford to help more people if you re/de-value their mortgages. The housing market is soon to crash, again, if history holds true. Help the people, not the banks, this time.

The point– Home Affordable needs to be revised, updated, now. Elsewise, you'll be overpaying to not keep enough people in their homes.

Trillions of dollars have been handed out to help people for the moment. But the troubles are going to persist for far longer than that. Time to plan ahead.

Be well.

BANK Senior Management,

Please help us.
The situation is thus…

I am on HAMP. I have made every payment without fail or delay despite being disabled. Clearly, it has been affordable. Thank you for that.

Come August, if my ex's name has not been removed from the mortgage, myself and my ##-year-old daughter will be forced out of our home. I have tried everything to stop this, including the justice system. I do not qualify for a refinance. I do not meet the metrics for a Mortgage Assumption (can't even afford the fees). I do not want to live anywhere else.

This is our home, the only one my daughter has known her entire life. She has her own room, a yard, a barn, the woods to play in. I alone made every mortgage/ tax/ insurance payment since 200#. Purchased just before the last market crash, still underwater in value. As such, a forced short sale is imminent, being the only other remedy.

For years I have been trying, and failing, to get my ex's name dropped from the mortgage. The bureaucracy and qualifications have made it impossible, given my situation… When all that it will take to save our home fundamentally comes down to is a stroke of the delete key. Your subordinates have stated, "There's nothing we can do." Which is why I am aiming higher.

Kindly, help this disabled father and his daughter stay in their home. I have proven it is affordable– if not according to your metrics, then in actuality, over the past several years. If it comes to the point that I can no longer afford to live here, then evict us… Please don't allow this to happen for any other reason than that.

Be well.

BANK ("You"),

You denied the Mortgage Assumption, our last hope to save our home. I told you in my first email that I wouldn't meet the metrics, right now. During our first conversation, I gave you the only numbers that mattered: my income and my mortgage payment amount. Yet still you went forward, just to cover your butt. All the while giving us false hope. Result: "We tried, but darn those numbers… they don't add up."

Thereby was wasted three weeks. Fretting and waiting, calling, not hearing back, emailing, hearing back, more waiting.

Of course the numbers didn't add up, I told you. I was banking on the fact that my perfect payment history would count for something. Never been late– despite divorce, despite unemployment, despite disability. Come September, as explained, I will have additional income every month. Come August, we will be forced to abandon our home just as my daughter and I finally get more time together, and so very close to a long-overdue financial turnabout.

All this property is to you is just another account. You've already earned tons in interest, (most of) the remaining principal will be recovered in (any form of) a sale. To us, it is our home, our sanctuary, our safe space in a world of turmoil and uncertainty.

Now, because you won't remove my ex's name from the mortgage, my daughter and I will have to move into an apartment complex, in the middle of a pandemic. If just one person living there gets the 'rona, we won't be seeing each other again 'til the plague has passed.

Again, if I can't make the payments, evict us. It'll be just another write-off for you if I fail. To hell with the numbers. [Profit over people is why the world has fallen apart.] Have compassion. Be better than your peers. Set a positive example. Be the bank that gives a damn. Please.

Signed,
Father & Daughter

CEO,

My quest to save our home began (again) on Father's Day.

All that has thus far been accomplished is encountering the runaround, a half+dozen departments, more waiting, as-yet unfulfilled promises, miscommunication, mistakes, security concerns, more mistakes, bad maths.

Your officers waited until the day before we were to be evicted before doing something to stop it.

You should be embarrassed by your bank, professionally.
Get your house in order. Please.

Be better.

DHHS,

Your agents made mistakes. Months ago, my redetermination was declared complete.

Yesterday, I received a vague, poorly written (failing to provide any specifics) notice demanding further data. I called, waited, spoke to a representative who determined that mistakes were made, on your end. Yet, "There's nothing we can do about it." (Effectively: tough shit, do as you are told.) So, turns out, your department was demanding that I compose, sign, submit (basically, yesterday) a pointless document (to ameliorate your mistakes)… months after my case was already settled.

[How many shall you attempt to bamboozle out of benefits in this manner?]

I said No– Was then informed that I am in violation of your policies and my benefits will be terminated if I fail(ed) to comply. To me, it felt as if I were being dared to defy your department…

So, in response, I defy.
Do your worst.

DEPARTMENTs,

Help-links are helpful for the self-helpable.

But what of those burdened by biology or back-story:
Helpless to help themselves?

Your bureaucracy is mighty, your bouncers are bulwark.
Bully for you, bad for us.

It took me 60+ pages to explain ‘alpha.’

It took NAME1 2,500 pages to tell 7/9ths of his story.

NAME2, having no diploma, is summarily dismissed.

Very few have the time, or patience, to deal with us.

[I believed your company to be different.]

Your support teams function upon if/then/else.

But what if the logic does not compute (to them)?

Then: pass the problem off to somewhere else.

Task complete. Next.

We have been banging our heads against this problem our entire lives:
If the piece doesn't fit, move on. Leaving us left behind.

I have brought to your attention concerns worthy of due consideration…
Something that is in short supply, and rarely accorded.

We are worthy… requiring merely patience, effort, understanding.

But first, we need to deal with those who can actually do something.
[Beyond just telling us where (else) to go.]

This is your company's disability-related department.
Expand your minds, and your focus. Please.

Be well.

BRANDs,

I am not satisfied with the service provided by your Disability Team. Their focus is too narrow. Their ability to help is limited to the help-links they can provide. They have no capacity to access support records from other departments. They have no way to directly interact (for us) with other departments. They have no avenue to any department above/ beyond their own if they can't provide the support needed/ requested. If they can't help, where else are we supposed to go?

My name is ‘silent.’ I am disabled. I have difficulties communicating. (I am mostly misunderstood. Have to keep trying, and trying.) No assistive devices/ apps can help me make myself more clear. From the onset, I was asking for the entirety of my case to be reviewed by someone who can see/act beyond their own department. This, it has been proven, is nobody I could reach at DEPT1, DEPT2, nor even the Disability Team. These are isolated entities, disconnected from all the others. (My problems are all interconnected.) Any requests to step-up the ladder were ignored or dismissed as beyond their ability– "There's nothing we can do."

Disabilities are not cookie-cutter. Our issues often span more than one department. There are rarely easy solutions for the more challenging complications. [#1: Mind you, your associates, across all departments I dealt with, tried their best. (Except for DEPT2.) Admirable attempts, point in fact, but severely limited in reach.] [#2: Your associates, across all departments I dealt with, were soundly devoid of understanding. Plus, I got a different person every single time. (20+ associates, so far.) No consistency, no follow-through.] Nobody can talk to another. Nobody can work with another. Even the departments to whom I requested a copy of my previous support/ feedback/ bug cases couldn't get at their own archives to access. (Or just didn't want to.)

The purpose of that request was to show that I am not just some random user flinging complaints at them, yelling at the clouds. [#1: I am a power-user. Have been for more than a decade.] Over the years I have submitted significant (useful) feedback (across numerous projects), all in an attempt to help make BRAND products/ services better. (More accommodating.) I wanted it to be seen that I (sometimes) know what I am talking about, and have (hopefully) earned the right to be taken seriously when I bring further, unresolved, multi-departmental issues to your attention. But that didn't work– request denied.

I need help. I figured Disability Support was my best shot at being recognized, acknowledged. [#2: But instead I have been twice diverted, thrice ignored– deemed worthy of dismissal, without so much as a single discussion.] It is more than solving difficulties with apps/ services I seek… For that to happen, someone must look into everything I have brought to your attention. (Beyond the past few weeks…) I am here to help. (Not just myself.)

There are more ways to assist the disabled than just telling them where (else) to go. Maybe, for a moment, really look into some of their difficulties/ challenges. Then figure out other ways to help those too often overlooked, pushed aside. It is time to rethink how(/if) you actually help those with disabilities. (Not just those who try to reach out to you.)

I humbly request my feedback be sent to those directly above Disability Support. It is clear this department has no reach beyond itself. That is a problem, for us.

Be better.

BRANDs Disability Support,

[#2: Ignoring the ‘problem’ only makes it worse. Does your department even have the authority to converse with the disabled? Kindly, acknowledge that I exist. Start there. It would be the decent thing to do.]

I am running out of ways to not repeat myself. I have tried to explain a handful of different times, to many people, departments, and gotten nowhere but frustrated. I am tired of telling my tale to associates incapable of doing anything. (No offense.)

BRAND is my assistive tech. The portal through which I experience the (digital) world. And it has been failing me. I cannot do anything more than what I have already done. [My effectiveness is limited to Alpha concepts.] I request a liaison who can see beyond their own in/outbox. Someone not limited by their job description to merely clear the board, (re)direct traffic.

[#1: BRAND is my computer, phone, browser, office: communications -- my connection to the outside world.] I have been social-distanced my entire life. [Curse of awkwardity.] Millions of others have been forced to experience that reality. (It sucks.) A realm I am all too familiar with.

I am looked upon oddly, disregarded, ignored, left behind, simply because I am different.

My problems are ‘none of the above.’ Which leaves there nothing anyone can(/will) do to help.

I have found (too many) others who suffer the same fate and are likewise lost, trapped by their own differences. I did my best to help some of them, as no one else would. They have so very much to offer, if just given a chance.

I am trying to show that BRAND can do more, needs to do more. But first, someone must understand me. (I figured, if anywhere, it'd be here.) Someone capable of taking the time, and who has the authority (and the access) to look into all my attempts to get unstuck from my fate (and the mousetraps of customer service).

Social Security provided me the opportunity to explore/ practice my abilities, a “Disability Scholarship” if you will. Everything I have attempted during that time, despite my limitations, has already been brought to your attention, and has accomplished nothing but to confuse. [Story of my life.]

BRAND Support has proven incapable to accommodate me, my needs, my differences.

I have demonstrated that nobody I have yet been able to contact has any Authority. The legal (and perhaps HR) team has the ability to deal with more departments than just their own microverse… Hopefully capable of seeing me, for all I am, all I could be, and that which BRAND can do to help in my Disability Quest to help others.

I again request to be transferred upwards, to those who won't get stuck on: "How can I help you?" / "I don't understand, please clarify." Those capable of independent thought, not just following a troubleshooting script on their screen. (Perhaps not HR.) This is not an unreasonable accommodation given all that I have had to go through to get nowhere.

Reach out to those who can finally comprehend… Me.
They are the one(s) with whom I demand Parley.
Make it so.

BRANDs,

I came in peace, as a friend and ally.

But you kept sending me the long way down nothing but dead ends.

And now it appears that you've fallen (back) upon outright ignoring me…

Whether the reality is "We're done here" or "We're investigating" kindly, inform me.

Rather than leaving me hanging, unknowing what/if I did(n't) do/say wrong (again).

Never knowing (for sure) is always the most discouraging part.

silent.
~ Creative/Disability Consultant, (occasional) Systems Troubleshooter

ps. How many changes have been enacted (over the years) shortly after I brought them up?

DHHS,

Every few months you are the tax-man cometh… I'm talking Olde Nottingham here. You grab us by the ankles and shake us down. You turn over the furniture, shred our mattress, searching for any pennies we might have squirreled away.

You demand every piece of personal information possible. You make unrealistic requests for non-pertinent documents [to then use against us]. You make us run around, every single time. You seek to deny, first, and second.

Of all the bureaucracies I have dealt with, and there have been many, yours is simply the worst. It is your job to help those most in need– those who cannot feed themselves. Yours is the most dehumanizing department I have yet encountered. You seek any excuse to cut back or deny funds. You employ any means to overcomplicate the process so we wipe ourselves out.

Your agents are overworked and clearly don't care anymore about doing the right thing versus what is easier, for themselves. These are the wrong people to be helping the helpless. Their motivation (and job description) is to save money. The best performers are the most ruthless. Those who will invent any means to win.

Rather than admitting your mistakes, and fixing them, you threaten to terminate our benefits, drag us before a judge, (intimidation tactics:) trying, to the very last, in any way you can, to prove your infallibility/ superiority. You should be ashamed.

Things have got to change.
Be better.

Senators, Representative,

I am disabled. If I cannot get regular medical services, I shall continue to be a burden on society.

I was making "too much" for Medicaid, not enough for Medicare (or private/ gap insurance).

I am finally in a position to afford Medicare B. (If I cut out everything superfluous: internet, car, pets, social life.) Trouble is, as I have been too poor to afford it until now, I will be assessed a 70% Monthly Penalty for as long as I am on the program. Which means I cannot afford Medicare B.

Before you send me links/ numbers for all the financial/ medical assistive services I have already tried… I have already tried them all, recently. It has become an annual exercise in futility. Yearly reinforcement that I am on my own and can expect yet more zero forward progress.

I haven't been to PT in four years, seen my doctor in six, dental in eight, vision/ hearing in ten. Though, there have been a few (ER) hospital visits through the years to keep things interesting.

My only option for ‘affordable’ healthcare is if you can get a waiver for the ‘poverty penalty’ imposed upon my Medicare. Consider the cost-benefit analysis for your constituents in finally getting me fixed.

    [ external link ]

President, Vice President, Senators, Representative,

Your Party has been talking about disabilities, housing, healthcare, feeding and heating the poor (alongside alt. energy). I have a few suggestions… DisabledLife.org

Regarding DHHS…
My troubles with this department have already been well documented throughout.

Regarding health insurance…
I simultaneously earn too much and yet not enough (on Social Security) for any healthcare. Medicare wanted to assess me a 70% Monthly Penalty (because I haven't yet been able to afford Part B). When next open-enrollment commences, months from now, it will be an 80% penalty. Then, I would have to wait several more months for an Advantage Plan to kick in, such to be able to actually use it for what I need… There's got to be a better way?

Regarding fuel assistance…
Those of us who have been (and likely will continue being) on fuel assistance should have gotten our green (better yet, well-seasoned) firewood three(+) months ago, such that it has sufficient time to dry and we can get enough to get through. I/you had to buy 'dry' firewood, at a steep price, late last November. It wasn't dry enough, it didn't burn hot enough, there wasn't enough. I had to burn four creosote sweeping logs throughout the winter just to prevent my chimney from catching on fire, again. Can you please look into making the program safer for us, more cost effective for everyone, less last-minute will-I-even-get-enough stressful?

Regarding my home…
I am on HAMP. This was the only program I qualified for to reduce my monthly mortgage payments. But, those monthly payments were based on my then not-yet-removed-from-the-mortgage ex's income, being much more than mine. There are no do-overs. A refinance is not an option. There's no equity.

Nobody has offered any (viable) suggestions as to how I might go about improving my falling-apart crap-shack. They simply dodge the question (or advise me to short-sell). It requires electrical, roofing, new walls/ ceilings… the place is a dump, has been for years. But it is my house. If I leave, I will likely never possess another.

If it helps, I have been told there's an 800+foot-deep abandoned well on my land, potentially useful for geothermal heating/ cooling/ electrical. There will never be a better time than now (given that most of my downstairs walls and ceilings must be replaced) to install a radiant heating/ cooling system in my home. My housing situation should qualify for some Federal/ State sustainability/ improvement/ refinance/ pilot program out there, right? [So far, the answer is "No."]

In general…
Nobody has been able to help me with any of my problems. I am a persistent drain on society, and there seems nothing anyone can do to make me less-so, (nor make my existence easier,) when really it shouldn't be this difficult… The duration of my (curable) helplessness is coming up on a decade now. I am tired of being told: "There's nothing we can do." At what point am I (not) supposed to give up?

I do not reach out (again) to your office lightly… I have exhausted all my local, state and federal elected officials, the departments responsible for every program, and the nonprofits. Those few who responded, no longer do, having left it at: "Have you tried..?" or "Maybe next year." (It's been years, nothing has changed.)

Nobody claims to have the authority to fix ‘The System.’ So, who's running the show? Auto-redirect is no way to deal with the disabled. Bureaucracy (as I have repeatedly proven) functions upon if/then/else: If there's any way to make this another's problem, Then, send them to that somewhere Else, case closed. I've been sent everywhere, nothing but redirects and dead-ends, all.

Further, disabilities have become inexorably tied to legalities. The easiest way to avoid any potential entanglement is simply to ignore the disabled. "No comment" is how too many have chosen to deal with our grave concerns… The time has come to talk about that, too.

Doing battle with bureaucracy shouldn't be demanded of the disabled. It takes weeks or months over email to get nowhere. [Over-the-phone doesn't work for me.] I have been at this for years. And my experience is not getting any better, only worse, with every (devastating) failed attempt to get help with something, anything…

My problems are nobody's problem/ ability to fix.

This is the cursed life of ‘D) None of the Above.’

The only provision put in place for us is: Deny.

Do better.

ps. Here is how my previous attempt to get help went…

Governor, Senator, Representatives,

None of my three State Representatives have even once responded to my four emails apiece. My Governor's office went silent when I requested accommodations, as did my State Senator's. [Both requiring several emails before sending any initial response.] State Government needs to treat its disabled citizens better. My encounters thus far have been less than encouraging.

NONPROFITs,

On average, I have to knock three times on 'email me' links before getting a response, if any, everywhere I've tried to get help. Consider for a moment how discouraging that becomes. [Or perhaps that is the point?]

If nobody's going to answer their email, then they shouldn't post the links on their website (bios). Otherwise, it is yet another dead-end masquerading as accessibility.

What I need (and have been desperately searching for) is an advocate who can speak (up) for me. I have tried 20+ disability assistance associations. Trouble is, there's nothing newsworthy(/sexy) about my struggle. Apparently, I am(/have) not (a cause) worth fighting for (nor even acknowledging).

This is why too many of us (sooner/later) lose hope…
It is difficult to not feel abandoned.

ps. This is my {third, fourth, fifth} attempt to establish written communication with your organization.

Most of the Above,

I am having difficulty understanding why nobody can/ will help me. If I have somehow offended (/threatened), 'twas not my intent. (I have trouble with that concept.) If you do not appreciate having become part of this story, you are but one of (too) many who received similar letters.

If I have somehow approached this situation incorrectly, some constructive feedback would be appreciated. [An echo chamber (of one) has limited growth potential.] If you do not understand what I am trying to accomplish (on my Disability Quest), please find someone in your circle who does, then get back to me.

Is it because I haven't posted my real name or face to this project that you write it off as insincere/ fake? Every one of those letters were sent to those addressed. That they cannot deny, same as you. Wouldn't it be Better to be the one who did Something rather than yet another who did Nothing?

Used to be, writing a heartfelt letter (to elected officials) was the best way to get help. I've been at that for years, (being my only means of effective communication,) all I can seem to get is redirected, ignored. Compiling a decade of my letter-writing has proven to be too much to get anybody (who could do something) to read through it all. Were I to instead simply post (to social media) "Goodbye Cruel World" and/or a picture of a weapon in hand, somebody would be knocking on/down my door by the end of the day.

What does it say that the best(/only) way (left) for the disenfranchised to get (your) attention is to (ex)pose a potential threat?

Please, help me.

Office of the President,

I got your letter yesterday: “As President, I am committed to protecting and expanding access to quality, affordable health care for all Americans.”

HealthCare.gov: “You're not currently eligible for financial help with 2022 Marketplace plan costs.” Average cost of bare-bones plans: one-sixth of my monthly income; deductibles: nearly one-third of my yearly.

Cost of Medicare B (having gone up): $###/month, were I not being assessed an 80% Monthly Penalty (add'l $###/mo) for not yet (and now never) being able to afford Medicare B. [Removing this penalty requires an Act of Congress or an Executive Order.]

The reduced costs for healthcare (and all your "rescues") have been focused on those recently burdened. But what about us long-term losers? Getting worse, never better. Left behind, forgotten (again). Nobody pulling us up out of the ditches (where we are slowly dying of neglect).

Do better.

DHHS,

Here we are again… Your department made a(nother) mistake.

I was kicked off SNAP, you failed to inform me (why), no opportunity was offered to remedy whatever "my" presumed mistake was. Whomever stole my lunch money never bothered to record the reason why a disabled citizen was summarily ejected from your program. [Or was it a fully automated disqualification?]

Tier One support, having reviewed the situation, after conferring with their supervisor, admitted this was a mistake, would be remedied, and my lost food money would be fully reimbursed. Then came Tier Two… ever-refusing to be wrong, scrambled to find any post-hoc (bs) excuse they could to make this entirely my fault. In doing so, DHHS does not have to reimburse my loss, by instead forcing me to have to reapply to the program. [Screw the little guy, save the department money: What am I going to do, complain?]

Their denial excuse: My bank statement was not "current" enough. I uploaded all available data on the fourth of the month, the previous month's statement having not yet been generated. You now have a decade of my financial records… I have never once magicked-up enough money (let alone in merely one month) to alter my financial status quo. [Clearly, your people have significant trust issues. Or is that just policy?]

Your bureaucrats are so focused on (finding fault in) the numbers they do not see the people anymore.

What gives them the right to treat the poor so poorly?

We live or starve by their actions.

Fix this. Do better.

Commissioner,

I am again having trouble with the DHHS. Attached is the complaint letter I submitted earlier this week. Their response was to send me the SNAP application form. This is unacceptable. Mistakes were made on your side, so decreed by a Supervisor, and still I lost two months of food money. Reapplying would forfeit those funds (and be tantamount to my admitting fault).

I request to be reinstated and the funds (including Emergency Allotment) reimbursed. How much (more) of a stink must I make over this matter? Do I need to demand a Fair Hearing so your department has to fully explain its actions/ justifications? [It worked last time, you instead conceded.] How devoted is your department to blaming (/shaming) the disabled guy? Do I need to drag the Governor's Office into this (again)?

Please make it right, and we can quietly go our separate ways.

ps. How many others have been thusly wronged, without recourse?

Office of the President, Senators, Representative,

Regarding social welfare: I have repeatedly demonstrated what it takes to deal with the obstinate (and increasingly clumsy) DHHS (among other services). Do you really want to support a system where the only way to combat injustice requires wielding a bigger stick? [Has history taught us nothing?]

DisabledLife.org: Pick a problem, Fix a problem, Any problem, Please. Government dished out trillions to benefit millions (many of whom didn't even need it) but stalls endlessly over allocating millions to save thousands (who desperately need it). [What makes the minority so unworthy?]

“The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But… the good Samaritan reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?’” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Office of the President, Senators, Representative,

I have presented for consideration alpha.InspirationalAgony.org (one chapter in particular) and a (prototyped) alt.energy design, being the two best-efforts (among others) created during my "Disability Scholarship." I tried, best I was capable, to do something productive/ meaningful with this "opportunity." The absence of help/ support (/healthcare) has proven perpetually discouraging. [From most of you, it's been years without reply.]

Should I instead have done nothing? It certainly would have been easier (and far less humiliating). But where would I be now, without (having had) purpose/ hope? It shouldn't (/needn't) be this denigrating just to Survive Disability… I surrender.

Mercy.

Democratic National Committee,

So it seems you have decided to stick with: "No Comment."

Can we discuss this or must I first amass a horde just to be heard?

“Whenever we give up, leave behind, and forget too much, there is always the danger that the things we have neglected will return with added force.” ~Carl Jung

[Failures To Act…]

[30x:] Democrats,

And still, nobody has gotten back to me.

If not even one among you has the courage (/authority) to address this one person with disabilities, why should we believe that you can possibly make a difference?

You could acknowledge my existence, tribulations.

That would be the respectful place to start.

[Earlier…]
[15x:] DNC Official,

Disabled Citizen, requesting assistance.

I need your help reaching someone in the DNC willing to hear me out (and respond).

This endeavor is proving more challenging than it should…

[Earlier…]
DNC Email Director,

This will be my fifth attempt to establish (two-way) written contact with the DNC. I was using your website(s) Contact Us form: No response.

The systemic (mis)handling of my disabled situation is unacceptable. A decade, and nothing has changed. In some ways, I am worse off than when I started Disability. I have exhaustive first-hand experience, and more than a few suggestions, but nobody is listening.

DNC, Where We Stand: “We must right the wrongs in our democracy, redress the systemic injustices that have long plagued our society, throw open the doors of opportunity for all Americans, and reinvent our institutions at home and our leadership abroad.” From (way) down here, I'm not seeing it.

I request that my situation(s) be brought to someone with authority. I expect to be taken seriously, to be given thorough consideration, and that somebody (who can actually do something) will get back to me sometime soon.

Be well.

ps. Prior Attempts…

DNC, [+20x:] Senator, Representative,

My elected officials have been ignoring me for years.

Granted, they might have been painted into a (disfavorable) corner…

DisabledLife.org "A Decade of Disregard"
Summary: “That's not my department/problem.” “There's nothing we can do.” “Maybe next year/term…” Make everything overly complicated and many will give up, or flunk out. Ignore ‘the problem’ and they will go away, eventually. Desperate moments: "surgery, please" / "resign to surrender" / "cry for help" … "failure to thrive"

Please, dig deep(er), listen. I was trying to help (curb government waste; improve quality of life).

Regarding the (not unrelated) pursuit of alternative energy: […]

Your help (finding help) would be greatly appreciated.

Gigawatt isn't the only solution.

ps. Wouldn't it be better if this became a Disability Success (rather than yet another Disability Failure) Story?

[Later…]
Democrats,

Regarding my previous messages: Am I radioactive (or simply unworthy)? Because nobody will come anywhere near me (anymore). My story (DisabledLife.org) will end poorly on its own, unless somehow there could be a happy ending… My fate, it seems, is entirely in your hands.

Please, (do more than just say that you) give a crap.

Protect the powerless, as you promised.

Lead, don't cower.

[Later…]
Recipient,

Disabled citizen, knocking on your door (again), seeking Parley.

The attention of your supervisor is requested.

Please acknowledge.

Person of Faith,

Thank you for taking the time to write, as far too few still do.

Yes, I am familiar with suffering, injustice and feeling abandoned.

I have reached out to politicians, government, lawyers, corporations…

It has gotten me nowhere. I was looking for Answers in all the wrong places.

I respect your Faith. I have read your Holy Book, most of the others too. In a broad sense, they all teach the same things: Compassion, Forgiveness, Charity; "Be Good, to yourself and others." Far too many have forgotten those lessons, focusing only on themselves, neglecting the rest. Changing the hearts/ minds of people is not an easy task. One that I am glad to see you and yours haven't given up on, especially for those of us who do not Believe precisely as you do. That is part of your strength: Commitment. I wish more would commit to doing the Right Thing, for all.

I too believe in a Higher Power that cares, wants better for us, weeps for how we treat one another. I occasionally ask ‘the Heavens’ for help in moments of desperation. Your letter arrived shortly after the last time I did. Not exactly what I was seeking, but more Hope than I have gotten elsewhere. A strong reminder that there is Purpose in all things, whether we can see/ believe it or not. [The alternative is too bleak an existence to consider.]

It is good to know there are still those out there who Care.
I was beginning to doubt that there were any others left.

Be Well.

BRAND Employees,

I fully understand your situation (and your imposed limitations).

Bureaucracy will be the Death of Compassion, and by design it will have been nobody's fault.

Product Support: No Response.

Service Support: “Please understand that our services also have limitations as to what we can only do and provide from our end.”

Cloud Support: “I have reviewed alternatives and BRAND does not offer a benefit as the one you are requesting.”

Disability Support: “While I would love to help you with that, I'm only able to provide support about assistive technology and accessibility within BRAND's products.”

Is there another door you (or your boss) can knock on? My situation is proof of ‘the problem.’ BRAND's bureaucracy can't/ won't help ‘None of the Above’ people like me (by design). Only its (compassionate) employees can make a difference, advocate for change (from within). Start by helping one cripple get a computer… That's not too much to ask, right?

Please, help me.

[Later…]
BRAND,

If any company could (easily) do more to help the poor/ disabled, it should have been you.

Final Answer ~ "Post your (private) problems to a public forum, so somebody else might help you."

I am saddened to hear that this is BRAND's only offer/ way to help.

You keep slipping further away from: “BRAND.MOTTO.0”

I am also forced to question: “BRAND.MOTTO.1”

Office of the (Vice) President, Senators, Representative,

Another year has nearly passed. I am still without health insurance.

I remain ever-stuck in between "too much" and "not enough" income.

There would now be a 90% Monthly Penalty if I sign up for Medicare B.

How is that not a crime against disability? [Punished for being too poor.]

I am still without proper diagnoses. I do not entirely know what is wrong with me.

The pursuit of my 'problems' ended once I passed the "undeniably disabled" threshold.

There's some physical, mental and emotional 'issues.' How extensive: remains untested.

How am I supposed to get better when diagnosis/ treatment isn't affordable, even with healthcare?

Every year I write one of these letters, reminding you I have been left behind, again.

I keep slipping through the cracks, forgotten, ignored, dismissed.

Every year, nothing changes, no help to be found.

Nobody seems to care. Except me.

[Insert something inspired here.]

[If ever the right words are found.]