alpha.InspirationalAgony.epub

wrote by silent.
published by & (c)opyright
2012-2025 PonderHouse
[promo edition v0.42pr]

note: this ebook tests the robustness of this e-reader.
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alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

~

a place to discuss, freely.

preface

Rules:

+

Don't be rude.

+

Don't be creepy.

+

Don't be graphic.. use (y)our imagination.

+

Don't pretend that you know any better than any other here does.

+

No true Names {person, place, product}.. use descriptors.

+

Everything in its right place.. don't wander.. too far.

+

Tell your True tale.. prequel thru coming-soon.

+

No Gods, No Politics.. No War.

+

Be certain.. No backsies.

+

Follow-Through.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

required.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

Gen-whY.org

expounded

~

question.

ImperfectLife.org

expounded

~

circumstantial existence.

DeepThots.org

expounded

~

ponder, repeat.

DefectiveLife.org

expounded

~

replacement parts requested.

SmartFhone.org

expounded

~

digital pocket.

irrelative.org

expounded

~

thematically challenged.

What?

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.pseudononymous.org

~

multiple-personality ids.

–

concept(s)

>

NYM:

–

uniquity:

username.

–

experience:

wrote the book.

–

discussion:

initiate, react, reply, expound, speculate, complain, retort, power-up.

–

change:

never.

UDO:

–

uniquity:

open-bar.

–

experience:

read the book.

–

discussion:

react, reply, expound, retort.

–

change:

annual.

OUS:

–

uniquity:

grab-bag.

–

experience:

pirated the movie.

–

discussion:

react, reply.

–

change:

seasonal.

NON:

–

uniquity:

none.

–

experience:

none.

–

discussion:

react, speculate.

–

usage:

weekly

; observed.

NUON:

your collective of ids, tiered.

–

fixed:

one id per discussion.

–

choose:

appropriately.

>

What?

«-

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.pseudononymous.org

~

multiple-personality ids.

–

concept(s)

<

Minimums:

subject to revaluation

*

SmartFhone exclusions (may) apply

–

initiate:

variable

–

react:

~

50

words.

–

reply:

~

100

words.

–

expound:

~

150

words.

–

speculate:

~

175

words.

–

complain:

~

200

words.

–

retort:

~

30

words.

–

power-up:

variable

Difference:

–

no avatar.

–

no star-rank.

–

no likes, no plus.

–

no contribution points.

–

feedback neutrality.

*

effort involved.

–

no credit.

<

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

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[v0.99a]

alpha.ComplaintDept.org

~

on what grounds?

Rules:

expounded

+

Better be worth it.

Procedure:

–

perceived rule/ethics/morality violation.

–

complain.

–

await retort.

*

–

resolve?

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

user-complaint.

expounded

Complain:

be critical.

–

minimum:

~

200

words.

–

offer "acceptable" revisions.

–

be clear.

Retort:

per "repeat offender" post,

thrice,

required.

choose

–

defend.

–

compromise.

–

concede.

–

deflect.

*

ignore.

Score kept:

complain(t)s, ignore.

–

too many (un)worthy: account status subject to ridicule, whim.

What?

«-

back to alpha.pseudononymous.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.Gen-whY.org

~

question.

Rules:

expounded

Category:

stackable

–

Income:

where-from all your dollars appear.

–

Excome:

where-to all your dollars vanish.

–

Family:

inherited, adopted, transitory.

–

Home:

wherever you park yourself.

–

Stuff:

physical manifestations.

–

Thot:

mental manifestations.

–

Self:

this body holding Me.

Intent:

choose

Inspire,

Question,

Speculate,

Complain.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

generational-membership.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

Gen-Yes.org

~

inspire.

Gen-maYbe.org

~

speculate.

Gen-fYck.org

initiate

~

complain.

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.ImperfectLife.org

~

circumstantial existence.

–

a place to discuss, freely.

Rules:

expounded

Category:

stackable

–

Income:

where-from all your dollars appear.

–

Excome:

where-to all your dollars vanish.

–

Family:

inherited, adopted, transitory.

–

Home:

wherever you park yourself.

–

Stuff:

physical manifestations.

–

Thot:

mental manifestations.

–

Self:

this body holding Me.

Intent:

stackable

Inspire,

Question,

Complain.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

imperfect life.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

WorkinDaddy.org

&

WorkinMommy.org

~

life, work, child(ren).

Single-Daddy.org

&

Single-Mommy.org

~

life, self, child(ren).

UnemployedLife.org

sample(s)

~

life, unemployed.

DivorcedLife.org

~

life, divorced.

Bitching-Post.org

~

life's water-cooler.

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.UnemployedLife.org

~

life, unemployed.

–

sample

H

L

Q:#

–

+

∨

>

unemployment: inconsistencies

by

silent.

Question

Complain

Income

2011/12/##

Director,

This is my first, and hopefully only, bout of unemployment insurance. I must admit, I have found a number of inconsistencies somewhat troubling.

Search. Ask any of the staff how many jobs per week someone must apply for to receive benefits and you will receive different answers. Believe me, I asked more than a few. The title I previously held mattered, some of the time. One employee said that as a former TITLE, I only had to look for similar calibre, of which there aren't many, thusly a lower number of weekly inquiries. Another told me that was unacceptable and I had to apply to anything for which I am qualified, including the equivalent of 'flipping burgers' in my field. It would be inconsiderate to apply for jobs I have no intention of taking. Also, should I get a job offer, I cannot turn it down without disqualifying my benefits… excepting special circumstances, which have been explained, vaguely, at best. One employee told me CITY was acceptably too far away, another said it wasn't. A 'drastic' pay cut is considered unacceptable to one, but not another. I hope there is an official doctrine that determines eligibility regarding the aforementioned situations, especially given how the employees cannot agree on anything. I certainly hope it is not the sole discretion of the assigned case manager, thusly affording claims of discrimination.

Networking. DEPARTMENT seminars extoll the virtues of Networking as the most successful avenue to landing a job in this tough economy. Yet, networking is not a selectable option on the weekly reports we must file. Granted, most people who are impressed enough to pass me an email address or mobile number do not want me handing it directly over to a government agency, who may well bother them later. Proper networking does take time, especially when aiming for a TITLE position. Wine and dine, etc. There have been half a dozen Manager and Director-titled individuals I have charmed into welcoming my resume, none of whom consider our encounter the business of State record. Many of whom agreed to pass it along to their HR departments (with recommendation) plus anyone that might interest in meeting me. Those few efforts, which I cannot log, represented a solid two weeks of my unemployment thus far. My resume has traveled greater distance through my furtive networking efforts than all of my job applications combined. Sadly, there are not many jobs out there right now, of any calibre, no matter how much unpaid effort you expend aligning yourself as next for consideration.

Website. Not MOBILE compatible. I cannot download the Correspondence Notices. I have tried multiple browsers and multiple devices. I do not have an Internet-capable computer readily accessible to me. I live far off in the woods. I cannot afford the gas to visit the DEPARTMENT office several times a week. My local library uses keylogging software. I have no intention of giving their tech department, whom/wherever that may be, any of my logins, certainly not my social security number. Mobile devices are a reality of my generation and only growing more prevalent. As a government agency, DEPARTMENT has a greater responsibility to ensure compatibility and security. Oh, and your website is terrible. I have a few suggestions. That is an entire other letter, yet to be written.

Proposal. I am devoting significant effort in drafting a project proposal for an invention. I have only recently acquired the networking contacts to justify this attempt. Such a task requires immense time, which I did not previously have, while employed. This is also not a job-search method that I can log. One employee scolded me for my optimistic reach. "What if it doesn't work out? You're only wasting time." Even if the company toward whom I am directing my initial efforts does not take the bait, I may well leave a positive impression, which is certainly worth something. Besides, there are other R&D firms around. I could easily adapt the proposal and continue fishing. Much as I presently do with my resume.

Field. My primary skill is SKILL. Unfortunately, I spent almost a decade SKILLing solely FIELD. My case manager scoffed when I told her I had no desire to remain with FIELD. "Good luck finding anything outside your field." I was given the impression their goal is to encourage expansion of our potential job-search fields, thusly increasing the odds of getting on with our decimated lives.

Attitude. Two of the three employees I have extensively conversed with, talk down to me. When esteem is already deflated, that only stings more. Positivism is not an attribute I can assign to any employee I have yet met, excepting the receptionist. I do not know how she manages... kudos.

I recognize my situations are unique. I am a square peg. I do not expect I shall encourage any change to the system. This does not discourage my desire to take a few minutes simply to clarify when I discover myself nonplussed.

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(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.UnemployedLife.org

~

life, unemployed.

–

sample

H

L

Q:#

–

+

∨

<

unemployment: going hungry

by

silent.

Complain

Income

2012/03/##

*

Director,

I wish it were under better circumstances that I approach you again. It has now been five weeks since I have received my unemployment insurance. I went "hungry" last week.

I have called upon favors, friends, family, town welfare to keep me fed/sheltered. That only works for so long. Many of the people in my life are as bad off as I.

This is not the first time I have gone hungry on unemployment. The previous occurrence was when an attempt to file on your website failed. I have made sure not to let that happen again. It was a powerful lesson. Yet, here I am, of a different cause.

I founded an LLC. Apparently this is a show-stopper. I created it for Intellectual Property protection, as explained. I require protection for the invention I have been trying to sell. I cannot afford a patent right now, obviously. Also, there was that one "paying" day of jury duty that would have halted services had I not discovered, on my own, that it was going to be a problem.

I have called the office, made myself a nuisance, explained that I have no food. My situation has not been resolved. I have been stuck, for over a month, in the queue of a nameless adjudicator with whom I cannot plead my case. There is no telling how much longer I must wait for what used to be a quick resolution.

If I had not received my tax return on Friday, this weekend would have been financially disastrous. Still, ninety percent of it was taken to pay (now) overdue bills and late fees and penalties.

This is a result of the cutbacks your office has recently suffered. Your remaining staff is ill-equipped to handle the workload. I understand this, and sympathize. Please, feel free to use my situation as an Example to the powers-that-be that your employees cannot do their jobs promptly anymore. If an intelligent, resourceful person such as myself is going hungry on the program, I fear for those less fortunate.

*

yyyy/mm/dd. samples timeline: approximate

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«-

back to alpha.ImperfectLife.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DeepThots.org

~

ponder, repeat.

Rules:

expounded

Category:

stackable

–

Income:

where-from all your dollars appear.

–

Excome:

where-to all your dollars vanish.

–

Family:

inherited, adopted, transitory.

–

Home:

wherever you park yourself.

–

Stuff:

physical manifestations.

–

Thot:

mental manifestations.

–

Self:

this body holding Me.

Intent:

stackable

Inspire,

Question.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

user-experience.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

ConvolutedClarity.org

sample(s)

respond

initiate

~

it's really rather obvious.

DecisionImpediment.org

~

what's actually stopping you.

SwellFoop.org

~

that one thing, how it changed everything.

FollowThru.org

~

what happens next.

ThotTrain.org

~

the caboose..quite often..comes first.

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.ConvolutedClarity.org

~

it's really rather obvious.

–

sample

H

L

Q:#

–

+

∨

my imperfect life reveals convoluted clarity

by

silent.

Inspire

Thot

*

2012/10/##

Senators, Representative,

Progression: sixteen months.. true story.

Self: abled (?), disabled (?).

Home: family, self, street (?).

Child: full-time, non-entity, part-time, debate.

Family: decline, separate, mediate, divide, divorce, custody.

Friends: give 'em a call, how long's it been?

Income: hostile, terminated, snipe-hunt.

Law: debt, divorce, custody, disability.

Life: litigious, lonely, hungry, angry.

Death: two, same day, parental-archetype, disparate cause.

Near-death: beloved pet, next day, unpleasant debate, emergency surgery.

Health: weight-change, injury, meningitis scare, ambulance ride, hospital stay, agony, (over-prescribe, de-motivate) dis-ambulatory, activity, agony, injection, relief, encephalitis scare, free rehab, pain.. dangerous procedure (?).

Apply, Deny: State Welfare, State Fuel Assist, Food Stamps, Mortgage Refinance, Medical Assistance, Medica(re/id), Social Security, overdraft protection.

Apply, Survive: Town Welfare, Town Fuel Assist, Food Pantry, Mortgage Modification, Medical Assistance, Unemployment, Social Security (?).

Child Support: apply, recalculate, hiccup, "deadbeat," recalculate, recalculate.. pay, repeat.

Unemployment: apply, wait, orientate, hiccup, "starve," smile, apply, dance, deny.. smile, repeat.

Disability: apply, data, wait, dance, wait, data, wait, plead, wait, deny, despair, appeal.. deny (?), repeat.

Credit: apply, survive, delay, recalculate, withhold, overdue, demand, default, claim, collect, repossess, foreclose (?).. Fire-Sale (?), repeat.

Crashed-Out: Credit, Savings, Stock, Retire, collectables (full-set).. Future.

Shut-Off: on-demand, hi-speed, telecommunicators (three).. [so-called] Life.

Re-Possessed: Car (eleventh hour), House (technically, twice), Family (reform anew).. Hope, Faith, Pride (grow back).

*

this post wanders afar of the Categories it helped formulate

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«-

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[v0.79a]

alpha.DefectiveLife.org

~

replacement parts requested.

–

a place to discuss, freely.

Rules:

expounded

Category:

stackable

–

Income:

where-from all your dollars appear.

–

Excome:

where-to all your dollars vanish.

–

Family:

inherited, adopted, transitory.

–

Home:

wherever you park yourself.

–

Stuff:

physical manifestations.

–

Thot:

mental manifestations.

–

Self:

this body holding Me.

Intent:

stackable

Inspire,

Question,

Complain.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

defective life.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

FinancialFailure.org

expounded

~

yep, broke(n).

DisabilityScholarship.org

expounded

sample(s)

~

please.

DisabledLife.org

sample(s)

~

life, disabled.

AbusiveLife.org

~

unto others, or self.

AbusedLife.org

~

unto you.

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.FinancialFailure.org

~

yep, broke(n).

Rules:

expounded

+

Program Names allowed.

Intent:

choose

Inspire,

Question,

Complain.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

financial-experience.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

ApplySurvive.org

~

what you needed, what you got.

ApplyDeny.org

~

what you needed, didn't get, why.

CrashedOut.org

~

what you needed, what you gave up, what you got.

excome.org

~

where did it all go?

What?

«-

back to alpha.DefectiveLife.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.DisabilityScholarship.org

~

please.

Rules:

expounded

+

I'm worth it.

Category:

Self.

Intent:

Inspire.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

disabled life, a plan.

expounded

More:

sample(s)

What?

«-

back to alpha.DefectiveLife.org

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.DisabilityScholarship.org

~

please.

–

sample

H

L

Q:#

–

+

∨

disability scholarship

by

silent.

Inspire

Self

2012/11/##

Representative, Senators,

Why I applied for a "Disability Scholarship" ..a while ago. An essay.

I was a straight-A-student up through eighth grade. Then ..yet another.. Trauma. This particular trauma begat a cycle of CONFIDENTIAL, from which I have received little reprieve. After nearly twenty years of riding this broken-cycle, I have finally had enough. I require Help. I am ready to Heal. I narrowly survived my last wipe-out.. I may not the next. My Child requires Both Parents.

Intelligence is not a disqualifier for Disability ..I checked, first thing.. It is, however, considered with abject Suspicion. I was diagnosed as 'CONFIDENTIAL' at age thirteen. I have compensated for my CONFIDENTIAL dysfunctions my entire life. My potential remains incalculable ..until I can get out of my own way.. I have numerous Ideas ..going nowhere, like me.. I wish only to help people ..I believe I know how.. First, I need to get my head on straight(-ish). I require a proficient Psychologist.

CONFIDENTIAL [...] Put in proximity with more than but a few people and it becomes chaos ..and Panic.. within. [...] I am a powerful friend .."Believe me, I know how you feel".. I help people, one at a time. This is my Ability. I require the Time to Practice, hopefully such that I can attend a simple social gathering or office-scenario ..without disconcert.. and Contribute.

My former career brought out the worst of my D(igital)OCD.. Limiting my mindset to '1's and '0's is fundamentally frustrating when I firmly exist in the realm of '-1'. I do not handle Disruption well.. My former employers afforded extensive Accommodations that allowed me avoidance of coworkers, almost completely. Resultant ..as I was ever-unsupervised.. my dysfunctions grew ..unchecked.. For almost a decade I did not work a 'normal' job. I do not know how. I require vocational rehab, New Career.

I have a recurrent Crippling CONFIDENTIAL Condition ..recently resurfaced.. preventing me from doing most-anything physical ..including my former career.. for more than a short spell.. enough said. It will require Time ..and major surgery, I cannot afford.. to finally Heal.

I have issues with Memory.. Not an uncommon side effect of trauma ..it is easier to forget than to remember.. I have no concept of time-passed. I forget the worst.. alongside the best. I require Memory Training.

[...] CONFIDENTIAL [...] I require Time to recover.

I need to put my past behind me ..get beyond Who I Was.. discover Who I Am. I will make Mistakes ..big ones.. This is all part of Learning. I need to be free to make these mistakes without loss of the roof over my head or the food on my table ..which I can do nothing more to prevent from slipping away.. Life, in fear of these disasters: I will not Try, Risk, Grow ..my disfortune-cycle shall persist.. I require Security.

While receiving Unemployment ..it just ended.. I made "too much" to qualify for any-other assistance. I cannot afford psychotherapy ..which might be nice.. I have gone hungry several times this past year ..gov't bureaucracy.. Creditors harass me, daily. I cannot see my distant Friends and Family ..whom I miss, love.. My Home ..which I have struggled to keep, love, refuse to lose, as long shall it be before I may procure another.. is in severe disrepair. My Child is not receiving all the Financial Support deserved, and required.

I have greater aspirations for my life than to live 'on the brink' for the rest of it. I have had more than enough experience living this way. I do not long for yet another few years of that lifestyle. However, it will be required for the Time to Heal, Practice my Ability, Learn to Contribute, Securely. This is the Intent of Social Security Disability. I humbly request the opportunity to use the program intelligently, properly, shortly.

Thank you for your (re)consideration.

*

full favorable decision

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power-ups

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PonderHouse

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

~

life, disabled.

–

sample

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ability2wait

by

silent.

Question

Income

Excome

2012/11/##

Senators, Representative,*

I have crashed-out and spent my Retirement, paying bills. Nobody will afford me any Credit.

I have no income, nor any capacity to generate: I have a debilitating CONFIDENTIAL condition alongside incapacitating CONFIDENTIAL dysfunctions. Documentation explaining this has already been submitted to the proper bureaucracy.

I have not found any provision, given my circumstance, that will cover the operating cost of: a car (no bus stop out here), phone or internet (goodbye world), my few remaining (necessary) insurances, pet care.

My electricity will only be imbursed if I first ruin my (only remaining) 'good name' with my utility company by instigating a shut-off notice.. poor form; Winter's here; credit-score fatality.

Welfare no longer gives cash assistance. My dis-abilities, given Proper Treatment (which is inaccessible to me), could be remediated in less than five years.. no help there.

My Town (as are many across the nation) was handed the burden of keeping a roof over my head, while we wait.

If I had come upon this point in the process via insured Accident, my story would tell different.

My Faith in my federal/state government's resolve to assist the less-fortunate is faltering.

I worry for those that start with less and wait for more.

My Disability Appeal is three months away.

See you on the other side.

Be well.

ps. I'm still waiting for Food Stamps.

pps. My Town saved my butt there, too, again.

*

Politics vs. Government {position, program, process, responsibility} is a fine line

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

~

life, disabled.

–

sample

H

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<

>

dire need

by

silent.

Question

Income

2013/04/##

Senators, Representative,

I won my Disability Appeal, back in February.

I haunt the mailbox, awaiting that first check..
the maillady promises to honk, when it shows.*

My case was decreed 'dire need,' many months ago.

My financial circumstance has only worsened.

My insurances have lapsed.. I'm fragile, clumsy.

My phone and electricity go dark, next week.

My car will get sneak-repo'd, sometime soon.

I must seriously consider foreclosure, this month.

My creditors afford me little contractual compassion..
even less, those of their very own government bailout.

They will not hold, without a definitive payment date.

Nobody can tell me when that check will be mailed..
I wish you better luck procuring an accurate vaguery.

I bankrupted myself simply holding on until my Appeal.

I was hopeful that would be the extent of my financial failure..
I now stand to lose all of that which I've fought so hard to hold on to.

My spirit cannot endure many more undeserved misfortunes
..at the hands of merciless bureaucracies.

Please, help me.

Thank you.

Be well.

*

Notice of (full favorable) Decision until first check: 92 days

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

~

life, disabled.

–

sample

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homely passages

by

silent.

Question

Home

2014/04/##

President, Senators, Representative, HUD, FHFA, Freddie Mac,

This Disabled American needs your help, again.

I qualified for HAMP v1.0. Thank you. It helped me to save my home, for a while.

(un)Fortunately, I bought my house back when the market was at its peak,
and when they'd give away a 'discount' mortgage to anyone..
  along with a free puppy, just for applying.

I have tried (and failed) to qualify for any program out there to help me continue to stay in my home. The problems (fundamentally, now) are: my house is worth far-less than that which I significantly owe upon it, my monthly mortgage payment represents too-much of my limited income, and, Freddie's crashed-out on my couch. Plus, the place needs a new roof, there are holes in the walls with exposed electrical, and, could stand for some fundamental foundational work as well.. not dissimilar to my own disabled state. All these issues can easily be remedied with but a little more time, as now I can better grow 'capable' and 'contributory' again [thank you, Obamacare].. with appreciated understanding.

My credit, savings, stocks, and retirement did not endure the lengthy disability 'campaign's. As such, those that are in place to assist those of my left-over position all advise: "Simply short sale, or bankrupt out." Trouble being, "five to ten years" would pass [if ever again] before I could qualify to buy another home.. I have one, now, one that I love, despite its obvious flaws, one that I have invested eight+ years of time/ money/ life into already, one that I have almost already paid for once over, one that I shall see only negative returns upon should I pursue either of the available dis-favorable 'bail-out' options.

My financial circumstance would have been far less turbulent over the past two+ years if I had simply 'quit' my mortgage when I became disabled, as many must.. I still don't want to, it would be giving up on another part of 'my life.' This is 'my land' ..something I was raised to believe every American could possess, and grow upon ..even though it too-often feels like too-few of my generation have been able (yet) to 'stake their own claim,' let alone hold on to it ..but that is a whole other discussion. The only way that I can continue to park myself and my child and our stuff where-all we've long-been is if the mortgage principal were to be reduced.. something nobody is yet willing to do.

However, the Northern Pass has begun to plow-through within sight of my place.. property values in my 'hood have been tanked, by the Town, already. *!For Sale!* signs are popping up like pansies.. further lowering what is already lowered. As I understand it, this is happening all along the 'proposed' power pathway.

Perchance, are there any considerations in place for a pilot program to help those proximal to the Northern Pass.. perhaps, like a special trial-run HARP v2.1 wherein such properties might/could possibly be re-assessed/ valued/ financed as low(er)-income housing for those that intend to remain/move-in, preferably soonish..? I would be honored to participate, offer my feedback, enthusiastic support. This is the only circumstance I could dream up in which I/we keep my/our property afloat, fueled by disability alone, for now.. Believe me, I've done tried everything else I am capable of, at present.. and I know I am not the only citizen stuck aboard the lower decks of this particular sinking ship.

Got another lifeboat handy?
Be well.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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hunger appeal

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silent.

Question

Fuel

*

2015/11/##

DHHS,

I am writing to Appeal your latest Food Stamp Determination.

– I have no additional source(s) of income, yet.

– My Social Security Disability hasn't been altered.

– I am back in school, such that I might improve upon myself.

– My mortgage payment went down $100. I finally made up for an escrow deficit.

– I just changed homeowner's insurance, at the wrong time. I have a new escrow deficit.

– My previous car was a limited edition with 60k miles on it, but wouldn't pass inspection.
I fair-traded it for a lesser-car with 100k miles, which would pass inspection, this year.

– My monthly fhone, electricity, car/life insurance, medications haven't changed.

– You decreased my food stamp benefits by $### a month.
Verily rendering it unhelpful.

Kindly, explain your maths.

Is it because I've kept a balance on my EBT card?
Allow me to elucidate…

My fridge/freezer up and died on me a few months ago, while fully stocked, when I wasn't around to notice, all hands lost. I haven't yet raised the funds required to replace it. I've been eating out of a dorm-room mini-fridge. Not much space inside. I've nearly exhausted my emergency supply of dry, canned, saucepan goods. My evening class is at the same/only time as the Food Pantry is open in my hometown. I've been saving up my food stamps for when I do procure a proper fridgeplacement, as it'll have to be stocked, with condiments, produce, and such. I was looking forward to again preparing decent meals in my own home, soon.

That extra $100 saved on my mortgage the past few months gave me a chance to breathe…

– I got my first haircut in over a year.

– I fixed my brakes, which had sounded like I was dragging a sack of cats behind my car.

– Speaking of cats– mine hadn't gotten a proper checkup, nor updated vaccinations, in two years.

– I was able to resupply some essentials– like good tp, plastics, soaps, dental, shaving gear.

– I had enough spare gas money to re-attend my weekly disability support group.

– I thought I'd be able to afford a merry xmas for my #-year-old child, this year.

– I was able to reinstate BRAND DVDs through the mail, for entertainment.

– I invested in vaping gear, such that I could/did finally quit tobacco.

– The windfall hadn't yet allowed for new socks, underwear.

– I still cannot afford high-speed internet, nor television.

– Now, I am without sufficient food resources…

Care to help me out?
Be well.

ps. Or mayhap, I could have applied that extra hundred towards getting Medicare B…

*

New Category?

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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surgery, please

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silent.

Complain

Self

2016/12/##

HOSPITAL,

I cannot kayak, swim, snowshoe, run, throw a ball. I cannot roughhouse with my daughter. I must play carefully with her, always. If my neck gets twisted, or I get jolted, I'm down on the floor, whimpering. Not something a #-year-old can truly comprehend as not her fault, nor should she have to see.

I cannot pull a rake or shovel snow. I cannot swing an axe, a hammer, a dead cat, without damaging myself. I cannot turn a screw. My home and yard have fallen into disrepute while I've watched, helpless to do anything but feel helpless about it.

I cannot stand, or sit around, for more than a spell. I cannot sleep on my left side anymore. I have only a few upright hours a day, then I'm flat-out the rest, doing little productive. I can barely jockey a computer now… My stock and trade for 20 years. No matter the interface configuration, I've exhausted them all. Even my thumbs go arthritic-claw after an hour on a smartfhone/ tablet.

I am back in school though, one class a semester, to better myself, and my future prospects, once I get better. Straight A's. Fortunately, the payments on my tuition loans are nil, for now.

I wake up and fall to sleep hurt, every day. My mental health is deteriorating, resultant. I will not take opioids. We all know where that leads. I was nearly sucked down that black hole when first I was injured.

I receive foodstamps. A whole $16 a month. The rest of my food comes from the local pantry, where donation quality has suffered of late. Dented foreign-brand cans, junk food, tertiary cuts of expired (then frozen) meat, nary a fresh fruit or vegetable to be had again 'til Spring. I splurge twice a year on take-out pizza: garlic and pepperoni.

I haven't purchased new clothes, music, books, or other media, in four years. I've been living without home internet or TV just as long. My car only gets two tankfuls of gas a month. I'm on heating and electrical assistance. I certainly cannot raise the funds for surgery, nor the requisite pre/post-op procedures.

I cannot afford Medicare B. I would have to forego my mobile phone, and car/life insurance, to cover that monthly cost. Not a viable option. I've contacted the public-aid services. They cannot help me as Social Security already does, "too much so" to qualify for any insurance/ deductible/ medication assistance.

Both my PCP and your very own doctors concur that surgery is required to fix me. No question, my injury is the linchpin of my disfortune. It has prevented me from moving forward and contributing, instead of just receiving, which doesn't sit well with me. However…

I require, and ask kindly for, your assistance. I'm fragile and weak, in constant pain, getting worse, and going nowhere with my life, for years now. All because of my condition. Something I have no ability to do anything about. Believe me, I've done tried, every other which way.

Please, help me.
Be well.

*

Reply: "We've got you covered."

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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feeding the poor (properly)

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silent.

Inspire

Fuel

2017/10/##

BRAND,

I am writing to follow up on your considerations for EBT acceptance.

Given your latest endeavors to tackle the grocery industry, you have a unique opportunity here for proper application of the SNAP. You could show others how it should be done. Mayhap then they'll follow your lead…

As a retail powerhouse, you can carve your own path. As an online marketplace, the case could easily be made that the applicable rules be different from other grocers. Be the first to enact responsible usage of the program, by only allowing ‘real’ food to be charged to EBT, as opposed to your competition. And, by offering healthy full-meal kits, to ensure we can get a few balanced dinners a week.

I would assume there's state/federal databases somewhere that show what foodstuffs are purchased with EBT. If they're not tracking UPCs, shame on them. It'd be fascinating/ disheartening to see how many bags of BRAND are bought with taxpayers' money monthly. And, would serve as a solid example of how the program is being misused. [Sorry, BRAND, you're not real food.]

Gather some studies (and guidelines) from nutritionists, medical doctors, psychologists, that demonstrate the deleterious effects of junk food on health (physical, mental, emotional). They aren't hard to find. Calculate how much money is being wasted on non-nutritious foods. By vendor, if possible. Draw up some charts that detail how much better you could serve the public interest. Then approach the USDA and present your plan to save money, improve health, better apply their program's intended purpose. It is difficult to refute hard data, while making it easier to justify policy change.

My inspiration for this letter, and how you could aid in properly feeding the poor, came while standing in line at a membership warehouse. I witnessed a morbidly obese customer successfully charge a fifty-pack of candy bars and five pounds of jelly beans (alongside bulk chips, cookies, soda) to their EBT. I was angered (and a little disgusted) to see that blatant misuse of the program (as a form of state-assisted slow suicide). That was obviously never the intent, but a sad reality of its inherent shortcomings.

Kindly, help do something to mitigate these issues. You're the only business with the vision/ compassion/ wherewithal to do it right, finally.

Be well.

*

EBT Eligible

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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outing the poor

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silent.

Complain

Excome

2017/11/##

Grocer,

Requiring your patrons to declare aloud that they are using EBT as payment is rather uncouth. Often, earshot customers (and even cashiers) give an unconscious, ungracious sideways glance when they hear that.

To avoid this, I instead tried simply holding up my card when the question arose. Four out of five times the cashier stated, "EBT." Again, generating dirty looks.

You should consider upgrading your POS to silently pose this question, or automatically deduce the payment method when swiped. Privacy, and all that.

I am forced to reconsider my choice of grocer based solely upon your unintentional sensitivity blunder.

It is not conducive to positive customer relations to ‘out’ the poor upon their every visit.

Be better.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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disability quest

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silent.

Inspire

Self

2018/12/##

Social Security,

It has been some time since last we conversed.
I wanted to update you on my progress.

During my time on Disability:

– I became a CONFIDENTIAL.

– I graduated college. Got my degree, finally.

– I conceived/compiled a 50-domain-large construct on digital socialism.

– I spoke up for the rights of the downtrodden, the poor, the hungry, the disabled.

– I wrote four books on the same topics, from the perspective of one who's been there.

– I extracted/published 2,500 pages of respectable supernatural fantasy from the mind of a schizophrenic.

– I helped prototype a new design for CONFIDENTIAL. More work to be done, more funds to be raised.

– I founded three small businesses. Two still exist. They don't generate enough to live on, yet.

– I contributed to the brain trust of CONFIDENTIAL. Coming soon.

Thank you for keeping me alive until one of my prospects comes to fruition. Shouldn't be long now.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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surviving uselessness

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silent.

Inspire

Self

2020/01/##

Tips to survive having nothing productive to do all/every day… from one who hard-learned how.

– Try to find the good in your (newfound) purposelessness.

– Watch no more than 6 hours of tv a day– and not every day.

– Don't sit there eating crap– find new, healthy, portioned snacks.

– Have a routine, even a simple one– an hour this, an hour that… every day.

– Don't sleep your time away– 9 hours max. Naps no more than twice weekly.

– Have projects to nag at you– organize, create, destroy…

– Read, read, read, write.

– Clean up after yourself.

– Clean up yourself, at least thrice weekly.

– Don't focus on downer media– unless you require a solid emotional dump. No more than twice monthly.

– Try some new music, books, shows– stuck in a rut with nowhere (new) to explore is no place to remain.

– Have a few weekly obligations– places to be, faces to see. [not so much during the covid]

– Try to remake an old, good, lost friend. Repeat.

– Learn some new skill, preferably useful– to keep your mind/hands busy.

– Occasionally do something nice for someone who deserves it– don't just buy them some crap.

– Stay off BRAND(.com)– don't blow your money trying to buy happiness, it won't work.

– Have puzzles to solve, not (just) of the jigsaw variety.

– Learn how to cook a few (more) good, staple meals.

– Drugs/booze won't help.

– Exercise– it sucks, but helps you feel better, eventually– keep at it.

– Be nice to your family/pets– it's easy to vent your frustration by insulting them, pointing out their flaws.

– Discover your superpower– don't be discouraged when you can't do shit, right away. Keep trying (at others).

– Accomplish something​, every day– beyond simply surviving the day.

– Don't be a useless, sad sack of crap.

– Chin up, this too shall pass… followed by some new, fresh hell to endure.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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two issues

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silent.

Complain

Fuel

Home

2020/05/##

Senators, Representative,

There are two issues I would like to address: Fuel Assistance and Home Affordable Mortgages.

Fuel Assistance: I have been on this program for years. I heat with firewood. I have an oil heater, but the program provides insufficient funds to make it through the cold seasons on only that. Firewood will suffice, but only if I buy green wood. Trouble is, that requires time to season if it is to be effective that year. Delivery is now out to December. Which means green firewood is useless. So, seasoned/dry firewood, being far more expensive, has to be purchased, which won't provide enough to stay warm. Further, heat costs most in Winter. [Who benefits?]

The point– If those of us who need fuel assistance are to get through this upcoming winter, and we are many more this year, we need our firewood/fuel now. Elsewise, you'll be overpaying for not enough.

Government Mortgages: I am on HAMP. I am on Social Security. My home value is underwater. I bought back before the last housing crash. For years now, discussions have gotten nowhere regarding Principal Reduction on Home Affordable mortgages. Many more homes are now on the brink of disaster. You can afford to help more people if you re/de-value their mortgages. The housing market is soon to crash, again, if history holds true. Help the people, not the banks, this time.

The point– Home Affordable needs to be revised, updated, now. Elsewise, you'll be overpaying to not keep enough people in their homes.

Trillions of dollars have been handed out to help people for the moment. But the troubles are going to persist for far longer than that. Time to plan ahead.

Be well.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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our last hope…

by

silent.

Question

Home

2020/Father's Day

BANK Senior Management,

Please help us.
The situation is thus…

I am on HAMP. I have made every payment without fail or delay despite being disabled. Clearly, it has been affordable. Thank you for that.

Come August, if my ex's name has not been removed from the mortgage, myself and my ##-year-old daughter will be forced out of our home. I have tried everything to stop this, including the justice system. I do not qualify for a refinance. I do not meet the metrics for a Mortgage Assumption (can't even afford the fees). I do not want to live anywhere else.

This is our home, the only one my daughter has known her entire life. She has her own room, a yard, a barn, the woods to play in. I alone made every mortgage/ tax/ insurance payment since 200#. Purchased just before the last market crash, still underwater in value. As such, a forced short sale is imminent, being the only other remedy.

For years I have been trying, and failing, to get my ex's name dropped from the mortgage. The bureaucracy and qualifications have made it impossible, given my situation… When all that it will take to save our home fundamentally comes down to is a stroke of the delete key. Your subordinates have stated, "There's nothing we can do." Which is why I am aiming higher.

Kindly, help this disabled father and his daughter stay in their home. I have proven it is affordable– if not according to your metrics, then in actuality, over the past several years. If it comes to the point that I can no longer afford to live here, then evict us… Please don't allow this to happen for any other reason than that.

Be well.

*

Reply: "We can fix this."

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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come again?

by

silent.

Question

Home

2020/07/##

BANK ("You"),

You denied the Mortgage Assumption, our last hope to save our home. I told you in my first email that I wouldn't meet the metrics, right now. During our first conversation, I gave you the only numbers that mattered: my income and my mortgage payment amount. Yet still you went forward, just to cover your butt. All the while giving us false hope. Result: "We tried, but darn those numbers… they don't add up."

Thereby was wasted three weeks. Fretting and waiting, calling, not hearing back, emailing, hearing back, more waiting.

Of course the numbers didn't add up, I told you. I was banking on the fact that my perfect payment history would count for something. Never been late– despite divorce, despite unemployment, despite disability. Come September, as explained, I will have additional income every month. Come August, we will be forced to abandon our home just as my daughter and I finally get more time together, and so very close to a long-overdue financial turnabout.

All this property is to you is just another account. You've already earned tons in interest, (most of) the remaining principal will be recovered in (any form of) a sale. To us, it is our home, our sanctuary, our safe space in a world of turmoil and uncertainty.

Now, because you won't remove my ex's name from the mortgage, my daughter and I will have to move into an apartment complex, in the middle of a pandemic. If just one person living there gets the 'rona, we won't be seeing each other again 'til the plague has passed.

Again, if I can't make the payments, evict us. It'll be just another write-off for you if I fail. To hell with the numbers. [Profit over people is why the world has fallen apart.] Have compassion. Be better than your peers. Set a positive example. Be the bank that gives a damn. Please.

Signed,
Father & Daughter

*

Reply: "Let's try that again."

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[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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banking bs

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silent.

Complain

Excome

2020/08/##

CEO,

My quest to save our home began (again) on Father's Day.

All that has thus far been accomplished is encountering the runaround, a half+dozen departments, more waiting, as-yet unfulfilled promises, miscommunication, mistakes, security concerns, more mistakes, bad maths.

Your officers waited until the day before we were to be evicted before doing something to stop it.

You should be embarrassed by your bank, professionally.
Get your house in order. Please.

Be better.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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nothing beneficial

by

silent.

Complain

Income

2020/08/##

DHHS,

Your agents made mistakes. Months ago, my redetermination was declared complete.

Yesterday, I received a vague, poorly written (failing to provide any specifics) notice demanding further data. I called, waited, spoke to a representative who determined that mistakes were made, on your end. Yet, "There's nothing we can do about it." (Effectively: tough shit, do as you are told.) So, turns out, your department was demanding that I compose, sign, submit (basically, yesterday) a pointless document (to ameliorate your mistakes)… months after my case was already settled.

[How many shall you attempt to bamboozle out of benefits in this manner?]

I said No– Was then informed that I am in violation of your policies and my benefits will be terminated if I fail(ed) to comply. To me, it felt as if I were being dared to defy your department…

So, in response, I defy.
Do your worst.*

*

benefits terminated

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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third draft

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silent.

Inspire

Excome

2020/09/##

DEPARTMENTs,

Help-links are helpful for the self-helpable.

But what of those burdened by biology or back-story:
Helpless to help themselves?

Your bureaucracy is mighty, your bouncers are bulwark.
Bully for you, bad for us.

It took me 60+ pages to explain ‘alpha.’

It took NAME1 2,500 pages to tell 7/9ths of his story.

NAME2, having no diploma, is summarily dismissed.

Very few have the time, or patience, to deal with us.

[I believed your company to be different.]

Your support teams function upon if/then/else.

But what If the logic does not compute (to them)?

Then: pass the problem off to somewhere Else.

Task complete. Next.

We have been banging our heads against this problem our entire lives:
If the piece doesn't fit, move on. Leaving us left behind.

I have brought to your attention concerns worthy of due consideration…
Something that is in short supply, and rarely accorded.

We are worthy… requiring merely patience, effort, understanding.

But first, we need to deal with those who can actually do something.
[Beyond just telling us where (else) to go.]

This is your company's disability-related department.
Expand your minds, and your focus. Please.

Be well.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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fourth draft

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silent.

Inspire

Excome

2020/09/##

BRANDs,*

I am not satisfied with the service provided by your Disability Team. Their focus is too narrow. Their ability to help is limited to the help-links they can provide. They have no capacity to access support records from other departments. They have no way to directly interact (for us) with other departments. They have no avenue to any department above/ beyond their own if they can't provide the support needed/ requested. If they can't help, where else are we supposed to go?

My name is ‘silent.’ I am disabled. I have difficulties communicating. (I am mostly misunderstood. Have to keep trying, and trying.) No assistive devices/ apps can help me make myself more clear. From the onset, I was asking for the entirety of my case to be reviewed by someone who can see/act beyond their own department. This, it has been proven, is nobody I could reach at DEPT1, DEPT2, nor even the Disability Team. These are isolated entities, disconnected from all the others. (My problems are all interconnected.) Any requests to step-up the ladder were ignored or dismissed as beyond their ability– "There's nothing we can do."

Disabilities are not cookie-cutter. Our issues often span more than one department. There are rarely easy solutions for the more challenging complications. [#1: Mind you, your associates, across all departments I dealt with, tried their best. (Except for DEPT2.) Admirable attempts, point in fact, but severely limited in reach.] [#2: Your associates, across all departments I dealt with, were soundly devoid of understanding. Plus, I got a different person every single time. (20+ associates, so far.) No consistency, no follow-through.] Nobody can talk to another. Nobody can work with another. Even the departments to whom I requested a copy of my previous support/ feedback/ bug cases couldn't get at their own archives to access. (Or just didn't want to.)

The purpose of that request was to show that I am not just some random user flinging complaints at them, yelling at the clouds. [#1: I am a power-user. Have been for more than a decade.] Over the years I have submitted significant (useful) feedback (across numerous projects), all in an attempt to help make BRAND products/ services better. (More accommodating.) I wanted it to be seen that I (sometimes) know what I am talking about, and have (hopefully) earned the right to be taken seriously when I bring further, unresolved, multi-departmental issues to your attention. But that didn't work– request denied.

I need help. I figured Disability Support was my best shot at being recognized, acknowledged. [#2: But instead I have been twice diverted, thrice ignored– deemed worthy of dismissal, without so much as a single discussion.] It is more than solving difficulties with apps/ services I seek… For that to happen, someone must look into everything I have brought to your attention. (Beyond the past few weeks…) I am here to help. (Not just myself.)

There are more ways to assist the disabled than just telling them where (else) to go. Maybe, for a moment, really look into some of their difficulties/ challenges. Then figure out other ways to help those too often overlooked, pushed aside. It is time to rethink how(/if) you actually help those with disabilities. (Not just those who try to reach out to you.)

I humbly request my feedback be sent to those directly above Disability Support. It is clear this department has no reach beyond itself. That is a problem, for us.

Be better.

*

two conglomerates: some differences

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Excome

2020/09/##

BRANDs Disability Support,

[#2: Ignoring the ‘problem’ only makes it worse. Does your department even have the authority to converse with the disabled? Kindly, acknowledge that I exist. Start there. It would be the decent thing to do.]

I am running out of ways to not repeat myself. I have tried to explain a handful of different times, to many people, departments, and gotten nowhere but frustrated. I am tired of telling my tale to associates incapable of doing anything. (No offense.)

BRAND is my assistive tech. The portal through which I experience the (digital) world. And it has been failing me. I cannot do anything more than what I have already done. [My effectiveness is limited to Alpha concepts.] I request a liaison who can see beyond their own in/outbox. Someone not limited by their job description to merely clear the board, (re)direct traffic.

[#1: BRAND is my computer, phone, browser, office: communications -- my connection to the outside world.] I have been social-distanced my entire life. [Curse of awkwardity.] Millions of others have been forced to experience that reality. (It sucks.) A realm I am all too familiar with.

I am looked upon oddly, disregarded, ignored, left behind, simply because I am different.

My problems are ‘none of the above.’ Which leaves there nothing anyone can(/will) do to help.

I have found (too many) others who suffer the same fate and are likewise lost, trapped by their own differences. I did my best to help some of them, as no one else would. They have so very much to offer, if just given a chance.

I am trying to show that BRAND can do more, needs to do more. But first, someone must understand me. (I figured, if anywhere, it'd be here.) Someone capable of taking the time, and who has the authority (and the access) to look into all my attempts to get unstuck from my fate (and the mousetraps of customer service).

Social Security provided me the opportunity to explore/ practice my abilities, a “Disability Scholarship” if you will. Everything I have attempted during that time, despite my limitations, has already been brought to your attention, and has accomplished nothing but to confuse. [Story of my life.]

BRAND Support has proven incapable to accommodate me, my needs, my differences.

I have demonstrated that nobody I have yet been able to contact has any Authority. The legal (and perhaps HR) team has the ability to deal with more departments than just their own microverse… Hopefully capable of seeing me, for all I am, all I could be, and that which BRAND can do to help in my Disability Quest to help others.

I again request to be transferred upwards, to those who won't get stuck on: "How can I help you?" / "I don't understand, please clarify." Those capable of independent thought, not just following a troubleshooting script on their screen. (Perhaps not HR.) This is not an unreasonable accommodation given all that I have had to go through to get nowhere.

Reach out to those who can finally comprehend… Me.
They are the one(s) with whom I demand Parley.
Make it so.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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2020/09/##

BRANDs,*

I came in peace, as a friend and ally.

But you kept sending me the long way down nothing but dead ends.

And now it appears that you've fallen (back) upon outright ignoring me…

Whether the reality is "We're done here" or "We're investigating" kindly, inform me.

Rather than leaving me hanging, unknowing what/if I did(n't) do/say wrong (again).

Never knowing (for sure) is always the most discouraging part.

silent.
~ Creative/Disability Consultant, (occasional) Systems Troubleshooter

ps. How many changes have been enacted (over the years) shortly after I brought them up?

*

#1: 30+ letters, 10+ associates, 4 ignores, 5 departments, 3 months

#2: 30+ letters, 20+ associates, 13+ ignores, 5 departments, 4+ months

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Fuel

2020/09/##

DHHS,

Every few months you are the tax-man cometh… I'm talking Olde Nottingham here. You grab us by the ankles and shake us down. You turn over the furniture, shred our mattress, searching for any pennies we might have squirreled away.

You demand every piece of personal information possible. You make unrealistic requests for non-pertinent documents [to then use against us]. You make us run around, every single time. You seek to deny, first, and second.

Of all the bureaucracies I have dealt with, and there have been many, yours is simply the worst. It is your job to help those most in need– those who cannot feed themselves. Yours is the most dehumanizing department I have yet encountered. You seek any excuse to cut back or deny funds. You employ any means to overcomplicate the process so we wipe ourselves out.

Your agents are overworked and clearly don't care anymore about doing the right thing versus what is easier, for themselves. These are the wrong people to be helping the helpless. Their motivation (and job description) is to save money. The best performers are the most ruthless. Those who will invent any means to win.

Rather than admitting your mistakes, and fixing them, you threaten to terminate our benefits, drag us before a judge, (intimidation tactics:) trying, to the very last, in any way you can, to prove your infallibility/ superiority. You should be ashamed.

Things have got to change.
Be better.*

*

benefits reinstated

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Self

2020/12/##

Senators, Representative,

I am disabled. If I cannot get regular medical services, I shall continue to be a burden on society.

I was making "too much" for Medicaid, not enough for Medicare (or private/ gap insurance).

I am finally in a position to afford Medicare B. (If I cut out everything superfluous: internet, car, pets, social life.) Trouble is, as I have been too poor to afford it until now, I will be assessed a 70% Monthly Penalty for as long as I am on the program. Which means I cannot afford Medicare B.

Before you send me links/ numbers for all the financial/ medical assistive services I have already tried… I have already tried them all, recently. It has become an annual exercise in futility. Yearly reinforcement that I am on my own and can expect yet more zero forward progress.

I haven't been to PT in four years, seen my doctor in six, dental in eight, vision/ hearing in ten. Though, there have been a few (ER) hospital visits through the years to keep things interesting.

My only option for ‘affordable’ healthcare is if you can get a waiver for the ‘poverty penalty’ imposed upon my Medicare. Consider the cost-benefit analysis for your constituents in finally getting me fixed.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Home

2021/04/##

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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System

2021/07/##

President, Vice President, Senators, Representative,

Your Party has been talking about disabilities, housing, healthcare, feeding and heating the poor (alongside alt. energy). I have a few suggestions… DisabledLife.org

Regarding DHHS…
My troubles with this department have already been well documented throughout.

Regarding health insurance…
I simultaneously earn too much and yet not enough (on Social Security) for any healthcare. Medicare wanted to assess me a 70% Monthly Penalty (because I haven't yet been able to afford Part B). When next open-enrollment commences, months from now, it will be an 80% penalty. Then, I would have to wait several more months for an Advantage Plan to kick in, such to be able to actually use it for what I need… There's got to be a better way?

Regarding fuel assistance…
Those of us who have been (and likely will continue being) on fuel assistance should have gotten our green (better yet, well-seasoned) firewood three(+) months ago, such that it has sufficient time to dry and we can get enough to get through. I/you had to buy 'dry' firewood, at a steep price, late last November. It wasn't dry enough, it didn't burn hot enough, there wasn't enough. I had to burn four creosote sweeping logs throughout the winter just to prevent my chimney from catching on fire, again. Can you please look into making the program safer for us, more cost effective for everyone, less last-minute will-I-even-get-enough stressful?

Regarding my home…
I am on HAMP. This was the only program I qualified for to reduce my monthly mortgage payments. But, those monthly payments were based on my then not-yet-removed-from-the-mortgage ex's income, being much more than mine. There are no do-overs. A refinance is not an option. There's no equity.

Nobody has offered any (viable) suggestions as to how I might go about improving my falling-apart crap-shack. They simply dodge the question (or advise me to short-sell). It requires electrical, roofing, new walls/ ceilings… the place is a dump, has been for years. But it is my house. If I leave, I will likely never possess another.

If it helps, I have been told there's an 800+foot-deep abandoned well on my land, potentially useful for geothermal heating/ cooling/ electrical. There will never be a better time than now (given that most of my downstairs walls and ceilings must be replaced) to install a radiant heating/ cooling system in my home. My housing situation should qualify for some Federal/ State sustainability/ improvement/ refinance/ pilot program out there, right? [So far, the answer is "No."]

In general…
Nobody has been able to help me with any of my problems. I am a persistent drain on society, and there seems nothing anyone can do to make me less-so, (nor make my existence easier,) when really it shouldn't be this difficult… The duration of my (curable) helplessness is coming up on a decade now. I am tired of being told: "There's nothing we can do." At what point am I (not) supposed to give up?

I do not reach out (again) to your office lightly… I have exhausted all my local, state and federal elected officials, the departments responsible for every program, and the nonprofits. Those few who responded, no longer do, having left it at: "Have you tried..?" or "Maybe next year." (It's been years, nothing has changed.)

Nobody claims to have the authority to fix ‘The System.’ So, who's running the show? Auto-redirect is no way to deal with the disabled. Bureaucracy (as I have repeatedly proven) functions upon if/then/else: If there's any way to make this another's problem, Then, send them to that somewhere Else, case closed. I've been sent everywhere, nothing but redirects and dead-ends, all.

Further, disabilities have become inexorably tied to legalities. The easiest way to avoid any potential entanglement is simply to ignore the disabled. "No comment" is how too many have chosen to deal with our grave concerns… The time has come to talk about that, too.

Doing battle with bureaucracy shouldn't be demanded of the disabled. It takes weeks or months over email to get nowhere. [Over-the-phone doesn't work for me.] I have been at this for years. And my experience is not getting any better, only worse, with every (devastating) failed attempt to get help with something, anything…

My problems are nobody's problem/ ability to fix.

This is the cursed life of ‘D) None of the Above.’

The only provision put in place for us is: Deny.

Do better.

ps. Here is how my previous attempt to get help went…

Governor, Senator, Representatives,

None of my three State Representatives have even once responded to my four emails apiece. My Governor's office went silent when I requested accommodations, as did my State Senator's. [Both requiring several emails before sending any initial response.] State Government needs to treat its disabled citizens better. My encounters thus far have been less than encouraging.

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Lost

2021/08/##

NONPROFITs,

On average, I have to knock three times on 'email me' links before getting a response, if any, everywhere I've tried to get help. Consider for a moment how discouraging that becomes. [Or perhaps that is the point?]

If nobody's going to answer their email, then they shouldn't post the links on their website (bios). Otherwise, it is yet another dead-end masquerading as accessibility.

What I need (and have been desperately searching for) is an advocate who can speak (up) for me. I have tried 20+ disability assistance associations. Trouble is, there's nothing newsworthy(/sexy) about my struggle. Apparently, I am(/have) not (a cause) worth fighting for (nor even acknowledging).

This is why too many of us (sooner/later) lose hope…
It is difficult to not feel abandoned.

ps. This is my {third, fourth, fifth} attempt to establish written communication with your organization.

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System

2021/08/##

Most of the Above,

I am having difficulty understanding why nobody can/ will help me. If I have somehow offended (/threatened), 'twas not my intent. (I have trouble with that concept.) If you do not appreciate having become part of this story, you are but one of (too) many who received similar letters.

If I have somehow approached this situation incorrectly, some constructive feedback would be appreciated. [An echo chamber (of one) has limited growth potential.] If you do not understand what I am trying to accomplish (on my Disability Quest), please find someone in your circle who does, then get back to me.

Is it because I haven't posted my real name or face to this project that you write it off as insincere/ fake? Every one of those letters were sent to those addressed. That they cannot deny, same as you. Wouldn't it be Better to be the one who did Something rather than yet another who did Nothing?

Used to be, writing a heartfelt letter (to elected officials) was the best way to get help. I've been at that for years, (being my only means of effective communication,) all I can seem to get is redirected, ignored. Compiling a decade of my letter-writing has proven to be too much to get anybody (who could do something) to read through it all. Were I to instead simply post (to social media) "Goodbye Cruel World" and/or a picture of a weapon in hand, somebody would be knocking on/down my door by the end of the day.

What does it say that the best(/only) way (left) for the disenfranchised to get (your) attention is to (ex)pose a potential threat?

Please, help me.

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System

2021/12/##

Office of the President,

I got your letter yesterday: “As President, I am committed to protecting and expanding access to quality, affordable health care for all Americans.”

HealthCare.gov: “You're not currently eligible for financial help with 2022 Marketplace plan costs.” Average cost of bare-bones plans: one-sixth of my monthly income; deductibles: nearly one-third of my yearly.

Cost of Medicare B (having gone up): $###/month, were I not being assessed an 80% Monthly Penalty (add'l $###/mo) for not yet (and now never) being able to afford Medicare B. [Removing this penalty requires an Act of Congress or an Executive Order.]

The reduced costs for healthcare (and all your "rescues") have been focused on those recently burdened. But what about us long-term losers? Getting worse, never better. Left behind, forgotten (again). Nobody pulling us up out of the ditches (where we are slowly dying of neglect).

Do better.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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System

2022/01/##

DHHS,

Here we are again… Your department made a(nother) mistake.

I was kicked off SNAP, you failed to inform me (why), no opportunity was offered to remedy whatever "my" presumed mistake was. Whomever stole my lunch money never bothered to record the reason why a disabled citizen was summarily ejected from your program. [Or was it a fully automated disqualification?]

Tier One support, having reviewed the situation, after conferring with their supervisor, admitted this was a mistake, would be remedied, and my lost food money would be fully reimbursed. Then came Tier Two… ever-refusing to be wrong, scrambled to find any post-hoc (bs) excuse they could to make this entirely my fault. In doing so, DHHS does not have to reimburse my loss, by instead forcing me to have to reapply to the program. [Screw the little guy, save the department money: What am I going to do, complain?]

Their denial excuse: My bank statement was not "current" enough. I uploaded all available data on the fourth of the month, the previous month's statement having not yet been generated. You now have a decade of my financial records… I have never once magicked-up enough money (let alone in merely one month) to alter my financial status quo. [Clearly, your people have significant trust issues. Or is that just policy?]

Your bureaucrats are so focused on (finding fault in) the numbers they do not see the people anymore.

What gives them the right to treat the poor so poorly?

We live or starve by their actions.

Fix this. Do better.

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2022/01/##

Commissioner,

I am again having trouble with the DHHS. Attached is the complaint letter I submitted earlier this week. Their response was to send me the SNAP application form. This is unacceptable. Mistakes were made on your side, so decreed by a Supervisor, and still I lost two months of food money. Reapplying would forfeit those funds (and be tantamount to my admitting fault).

I request to be reinstated and the funds (including Emergency Allotment) reimbursed. How much (more) of a stink must I make over this matter? Do I need to demand a Fair Hearing so your department has to fully explain its actions/ justifications? [It worked last time, you instead conceded.] How devoted is your department to blaming (/shaming) the disabled guy? Do I need to drag the Governor's Office into this (again)?

Please make it right,* and we can quietly go our separate ways.

ps. How many others have been thusly wronged, without recourse?

*

benefits reinstated, reimbursed

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Action

2022/01/##

Office of the President, Senators, Representative,

Regarding social welfare: I have repeatedly demonstrated what it takes to deal with the obstinate (and increasingly clumsy) DHHS (among other services). Do you really want to support a system where the only way to combat injustice requires wielding a bigger stick? [Has history taught us nothing?]

DisabledLife.org: Pick a problem, Fix a problem, Any problem, Please. Government dished out trillions to benefit millions (many of whom didn't even need it) but stalls endlessly over allocating millions to save thousands (who desperately need it). [What makes the minority so unworthy?]

“The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But… the good Samaritan reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?’” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

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2022/02/##

Office of the President, Senators, Representative,

I have presented for consideration alpha.InspirationalAgony.org (one chapter in particular) and a (prototyped) alt.energy design, being the two best-efforts (among others) created during my "Disability Scholarship." I tried, best I was capable, to do something productive/ meaningful with this "opportunity." The absence of help/ support (/healthcare) has proven perpetually discouraging. [From most of you, it's been years without reply.]

Should I instead have done nothing? It certainly would have been easier (and far less humiliating). But where would I be now, without (having had) purpose/ hope? It shouldn't (/needn't) be this denigrating just to Survive Disability… I surrender.

Mercy.

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Faith

2022/07/##

Person of Faith,

Thank you for taking the time to write, as far too few still do.

Yes, I am familiar with suffering, injustice and feeling abandoned.

I have reached out to politicians, government, lawyers, corporations…

It has gotten me nowhere. I was looking for Answers in all the wrong places.

I respect your Faith. I have read your Holy Book, most of the others too. In a broad sense, they all teach the same things: Compassion, Forgiveness, Charity; "Be Good, to yourself and others." Far too many have forgotten those lessons, focusing only on themselves, neglecting the rest. Changing the hearts/ minds of people is not an easy task. One that I am glad to see you and yours haven't given up on, especially for those of us who do not Believe precisely as you do. That is part of your strength: Commitment. I wish more would commit to doing the Right Thing, for all.

I too believe in a Higher Power that cares, wants better for us, weeps for how we treat one another. I occasionally ask ‘the Heavens’ for help in moments of desperation. Your letter arrived shortly after the last time I did. Not exactly what I was seeking, but more Hope than I have gotten elsewhere. A strong reminder that there is Purpose in all things, whether we can see/ believe it or not. [The alternative is too bleak an existence to consider.]

It is good to know there are still those out there who Care.
I was beginning to doubt that there were any others left.

Be Well.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Inspire

Compassion

2022/08-09

BRAND Employees,

I fully understand your situation (and your imposed limitations).

Bureaucracy will be the Death of Compassion, and by design it will have been nobody's fault.

Product Support: No Response.

Service Support: “Please understand that our services also have limitations as to what we can only do and provide from our end.”

Cloud Support: “I have reviewed alternatives and BRAND does not offer a benefit as the one you are requesting.”

Disability Support: “While I would love to help you with that, I'm only able to provide support about assistive technology and accessibility within BRAND's products.”

Is there another door you (or your boss) can knock on? My situation is proof of ‘the problem.’ BRAND's bureaucracy can't/ won't help ‘None of the Above’ people like me (by design). Only its (compassionate) employees can make a difference, advocate for change (from within). Start by helping one cripple get a computer… That's not too much to ask, right?

Please, help me.

[Later…]
BRAND,

If any company could (easily) do more to help the poor/ disabled, it should have been you.

Final Answer ~ "Post your (private) problems to a public forum, so somebody else might help you."

I am saddened to hear that this is BRAND's only offer/ way to help.

You keep slipping further away from: “BRAND.MOTTO.0”

I am also forced to question: “BRAND.MOTTO.1”

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Inspire

Compassion

2022/09/##

Office of the (Vice) President, Senators, Representative,

Another year has nearly passed. I am still without health insurance.

I remain ever-stuck in between "too much" and "not enough" income.

There would now be a 90% Monthly Penalty if I sign up for Medicare B.

How is that not a crime against disability? [Punished for being too poor.]

I am still without proper diagnoses. I do not entirely know what is wrong with me.

The pursuit of my 'problems' ended once I passed the "undeniably disabled" threshold.

There's some physical, mental and emotional 'issues.' How extensive: remains untested.

How am I supposed to get better when diagnosis/ treatment isn't affordable, even with healthcare?

Every year I write one of these letters, reminding you I have been left behind, again.

I keep slipping through the cracks, forgotten, ignored, dismissed.

Every year, nothing changes, no help to be found.

Nobody seems to care. Except me.

[Insert something inspired here.]

[If ever the right words are found.]

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Inspire

Action

2022/09-10

BRAND Disability Support,

It should be clear by now that I have atypical challenges, obstacles, requirements.

How might I go about reaching a bigger-picture bureaucrat? One whose focus isn't solely on sorting/ filing disabled customer feedback/ complaints. [Someone who can do something.]

Is there no built-in provision for reaching higher up the departmental ladder for help dealing with ‘beyond your scope’ situations? I would certainly hope that you aren't isolated, expected to be able to handle everything that wanders through your door.

Yet again, my situation is: D) None of the Above. How are those dealt with beyond: "Thanks for your feedback."

----
React: “Thank you for the feedback…”
----

BRAND Executives,

For your consideration:*

1) PRODUCTs cannot be operated (effectively, worth a damn) without using a cursor device (touch-pad/ screen, mouse). [Try it for yourself.]

2) There is no consistency across (your) PRODUCT apps for keyboard-navigating between windowpanes, items, (offline) files/ folders; selecting first/next/last, new/open/edit, save/share/send, print (to pdf)…

3) Expecting us to remember/employ dozens of (3+key) Hotkey combinations (many of which differ, or don't even work, app-to-app) is Unreasonable.

4) The Disability Support Team has made it clear that I am required to find/ explain every instance of the above deficiencies (across all your apps/OS) if any change is to be enacted (one at a time). If I don't do it, they cannot help. Expecting me to undertake all of that is Unreasonable (to address/ fix your Accessibility Inadequacies).

5) Phone/Vid-Chat/IM: It is the ‘instant’ of these communication methods that does not work for some of us. Additional time is required to process input/ output (especially when discussing (issues surrounding) our disabilities [with your (privacy/ confidentiality not indicated) department/ corporation]).

[Cardboard Sign:] Will Consult (further) for Health Insurance

*

no comment, yet changes made

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Question

Past

Future

2022/11/##

Social Security, (Vice) President, Senators, Representative,

I would really like to get Medicare B, please. Unfortunately, because I couldn't afford it, there will be a 90% Monthly Penalty until I reach sixty-five years old. So, I will be penalized $####+ a year (for the next ## years) for having so far been unable to afford Medicare while on Social Security. [Seems fair, had I committed a crime.]

HealthCare.gov: A basic plan will eat up nearly half of my yearly income (in monthly costs and deductibles), were I to use it, which would be the plan. [Healthy but homeless being not the goal here.]

The 2023 cost of living adjustment will finally bring me close enough to afford Medicare B (without that damned penalty). Trouble is, when the SNAP Emergency Allotment goes away, I will be down >COLA a month in food money (I depend upon). [Oh, and then there's the price of heat this winter…] Whenever I get my head above water, more gets dumped into the drowning pool. [Hard not to feel it is intentional.]

My (un)steady decline, thanks (entirely) to a lack of healthcare, has been well-documented on DisabledLife.org. It details (malintentional) hardships I have endured while unemployed, disabled. [All that has been accomplished was to waste taxpayer money holding me in Purgatory, for a decade.]

I have laid bare many of the problems people in my situation(s) encounter on a regular basis. Is there some/ anyone in Government who focuses on Solutions, rather than merely mitigating Problems (or dodging Responsibility)? I have yet to find that anyone, and not for lack of trying. [Perhaps somebody in your office knows someone who knows someone?]

I would happily be a test-case for any experiments in lessening welfare hardships/ waste that might/ could be explored. Allow me to apply my troubleshooting experience towards something other than documenting my downward spiral. How should my story end? [Because I am troubled by where it is headed.]

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Question

Responsibility

2022/12/##

SSA (Regional) Commissioner, Chiefs; (Vice) President, Senators, Representative,

Let's try this again…

First, I used SSA's Email Us portal. Response: “Email is not secure. You have to call us.” [A Reasonable Modification: Make the MySS (secure) Message Center two-way.]

I then snailmailed my letter to the SSA District Manager. The entire response was: “We are unable to waive the Medicare penalty cost. Please contact your local representatives if you have further concerns.” A copy of the Medicare B application was included, as if that would solve anything. I cannot afford the $#### a year in penalties I will be charged. Even the $###/month would be a strain on my budget. [Once more I must choose food/ heat over healthcare.]

Twice this season I webmailed my elected officials, as I do most every year. Only one responded (this time, better than previously) with: "Have you tried..?" Yes, repeatedly. For to try yet again would only define/ prove Insanity. [Nobody (else) has the Solution, I've asked, everywhere.] All others: No Comment.

Included with this letter are highlights of my decade-long struggle. There's more, far more, but these entries get the point across… I was left on my own to get better, which has left me nowhere but worse off. Only real policy changes, or pilot programs, can make a difference. [Nobody else has the Authority.]

Please pass my story around the office, brainstorm a plan to Save Me [from myself].

ps. Suggestion: Medicare B should come free with the first two/ three years of SSDI, early treatment being the better (/cheaper) approach, to prevent more people (/money) from getting sucked down that hungry black hole I, and those (untethered) like me, are perpetually being devoured by.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Question

Where

2022/12/##

White House,

You sent only a snippet of my letter to the Administration on Disabilities, who did the same as everywhere else: Sent me anywhere else (I have already been sent to, sent away from) and did not respond when I wrote back… Achievement: Infinite Loop of [Responsibility-] Avoidance.
Try harder, please.

----

Administration on Disabilities,

Yes, thank you, I know how to do a search for: "disability support near me".

I have already tried all of those. Never got past the (digital) front doorman.

Responses: None; "We cannot help you"; "Have you tried elsewhere?"

Perhaps instead they might listen/ try if you initiated contact on my behalf?

I am (too) easily dismissed, have grown sick(er) from being always sent otherwhere.

ps. It would be helpful if somebody (on your level) would understand (/acknowledge) that there are federal problems without (sustainable) state/ local solutions (/band-aids)… Then, maybe, we could finally get somewhere, rather than indefinitely nowhere.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Complain

System

2022/12/##

BUREAUCRACY,

I must now Demand a Supervisor review the entirety of my case. [Twice have I requested.]

I am trying to hold a conversation with your {corporation, organization, administration…} but what I get is a different [10+] person every time, focused only on what's immediately in front of them: Closing the Ticket.

There's no continuity, there's no (sense of) responsibility or follow-through, there's no hope of Understanding.

The ‘bigger picture’ (everyw)here is getting lost in the minutiae of bureaucracy.

One person, one voice, one (with) authority…

Please.

[Elsewhere, Later…]
Social Security,

I emailed the top three positions in your administration, over a month ago.

In your response/attempt to get rid of me, you have presumed me an imbecile (again).

Clearly, you did not bother to read all that I sent to your Bosses…

Sending me back to Tier One Support is the wrong direction.

No more (last-)nameless minions, waving me off…

Supervisor, with Authority, Now.

Please?

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Blame

System

2023/01/##

Director, Commissioners,

Once again your Department chooses Denial over Compassion.

How many times must we do this ‘kick the (downed) cripple’ dance?*

Thanks to the 2023 COLA to Social Security, and then somebody recalculating my Shelter Costs (just enough to disqualify me), I will be out >COLA in food money. [Insert financial sarcasm/ irony here.]

I was looking forward to (finally) being in a position to afford Medicare B (barely). [It was going to be a strain, but better than suffering my untreated disabilities.] But that money will have to go towards Food/ Heat instead. [The choice I am forced to make, year after year.]

I demand an explanation as to why my Shelter Costs were altered when nothing on that homefront has changed since my last determination, last month. [Other than by doing so rids you of me.]

[Later…]
Regional Administrator,

Here is what I got out of that brief phone barrage…

"Shelter Costs" is an arbitrary deduction (too complex to explain to me), based not on (reality or) actual beneficiary shelter costs, being (justly) subject to change, month-to-month [based on the whim/ will of whomever is doing the calculations, case-by-case, being always/ ever not in our favor].

I call Bureaucratic BS. Justification to fudge/ alter a number if it will rid you of another mouth to feed. Every year, you find an excuse to terminate my benefits. Every year, I have to call BS (to the Boss). Will this be the year you stand firmly behind your subordinates' flimsy denial excuse (du jour)?

SNAP is a prerequisite for many of the other assistive programs, which have kept me afloat… If you cut me loose, I will drown. Will you also sink (any hope of) my Medicare life-raft?

Please stop calling me. [It never goes well.] Disabled Citizen Requesting Reasonable Modification of Email-based Communications from now on. Please Acknowledge.

*

benefits terminated

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Blame

System

2023/01/##

Regional Administrator,

Upon digging deeper into your financial breakdown…

[numbers + numbers - numbers = numbers different than yours]*

If I were instead Renting, paying the same $#### (as my mortgage, a Fixed Shelter Cost), how much of that would be disqualified? Some? None? You calculate my monthly mortgage, by breaking down/ apart and reconstituting it, as $#### (not the +$### it actually is). Am I not being (additionally) penalized simply for Owning a Home vs. Renting?**

Inquiry: How many more people could you afford to feed if you took, say, 100 long-timers, those on SocSec/ Pension/ Fixed income, and instead analyzed their financials Annually rather than Seasonally? How much of your operating budget goes toward paying your math-geeks to try and disqualify those whom you are (legitimately) ‘stuck with?’ How many of your beneficiaries are on fixed incomes, those whose numbers haven't moved more than a few dollars here/ there over the past year(s) (COLA being the only real difference, annually)… 200, 500, 1000..? [And please don't give me the standard: "We must diligently/ aggressively combat fraud, Fraud, FRAUD!" argument. Just how much monetary malfeasance have you rooted out vs. money-wasted on snipe-hunting?] …A few considerations for serving/ feeding (more of) the honest-poor (better).**

*

alt.disqualifier cited

**

no comment

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Question

System

2023/01/##

Regional Administrator,

I was not finished trying to have a conversation here. Please do not be so eager to slam the door in my face, Give Up on me. It is callous (/suspicious) the way you ignored all of my questions/ concerns… opting again instead for the easy (/silent) Denial.

[numbers ± numbers] Do you disagree with my maths laid upon your matrix? So which is it: the $#### [(Un)Earned: Gross/ Total/ Adjusted/ Net?] (period, end of discussion) Income, or the Final Calculations (of all numbers) that Determines (In)Eligibility? Kinda foggy on which it was, this time… Clarification Required. [Ask a dozen bureaucrats the same question, twice…] Please, Be Certain.*

I cannot help but notice that you failed to comment on my Owning vs. Renting concerns. The Point: Are you specifically penalizing (/discriminating against) Homeowners?** Do those who Rent have less-than-Rent (mis)calculated as their Shelter Cost? If I were paying the same in Rent (vs. Mortgage): [numbers±] I Qualify.

[Rhetorical: Is it this department's Mission to help/ feed people or to pay your people to distrust/ deny poor/ broken people?]

*

Gross Unearned = disqualify: Final Calculations = therefore irrelevant

**

no comment

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Accuse

System

2023/01/##

DHHS: Director, Commissioners, Administrators,

Thank you for taking the time to precisely explain why my odds of Surviving Disability have ‘justifiably’ been kneecapped. There were too many things that had to go right, and so many ways that my plan (to finally get Medicare) could go wrong. You just happened to be the first, and that is all it took to topple the house of cards that was to be my (only hope of) Salvation. [’Twas never meant to be, it would seem.]

However, I still have a Problem with your maths. That you determine my mortgage, taxes and insurance as $###/ month less than what I have to pay (to keep this roof over my head) is not just a rounding error (>10%), it is an Insult. How many homeowners have you denied how much in benefits simply by applying your own, inaccurate (compared to reality) calculations? [My case: >Homeowners Insurance or approx. Property Taxes (or maybe Medicare B) worth of (deliberately) miscalculated Shelter Costs per month, over how many years?]

Let's simplify the maths here, one calculation rather than your ten… $#### (Monthly Income) - $#### (Mortgage Payment: >50% Income) = $#### (before heat, electricity, etc.) which is below the Net Income Limit of $####. [Your matrix is designed to sidestep the Reality of our situations and instead supplant it with your own: Denial.]

Concern: SNAP Determination Discriminates Against (Disabled) Homeowners.

Options: Fair Hearing; Governor; Senators…

Parley Preferred/Requested.

ps. Offense has (had to) become my default position, being the only way I have survived this long, never accepting "Denied" as the final, irrefutable answer, because that is all I ever seem to hear/ get anymore, everywhere. [Giving Up (on us) sends too many to an early grave.]

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Define

System

2023/01/##

DHHS Welfare Bosses,

And this is typically where/how my conversations with Authority (abruptly) end: after stumbling upon litigious concerns/ issues, ‘the line’ goes dead… [Metaphor ± simile = Abandoned, again.] Please, Care. That used to be in your job description. When/ where was that lost along the way?

Instead, you bow down in reverence/ servitude before your ineffable/ infallible Matrices, consider it heresy should anyone dare question their righteousness/ perfection (or have the audacity to call it discriminatory). This is what happens when Systems are tasked with creating/ defending Doctrine designed to save money, not souls… the ‘Human(ity)’ element/ factor becomes irrelevant/ refutable.

Perhaps, you could use the might/ weight of your enormous (national) bureaucracy to (better) figure out how the hell to save (money, and) poor bastards like me from imploding under the weight of (all that) nobody giving a shit?

*

alt.qualifier cited: benefits reinstated: for the year

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Power

2023/10/##

(Vice) President, Senators, Representative,

Another year living without (affordable) health insurance for a (disabled) citizen…

Let's see how (badly) it ends: MedicalMaladventures.org

I do not believe I will survive another year.

This keeps happening on your watch.

You have failed your promises.

Shame on you.

ps. And before you suggest: "Have you tried..?"
  Yes, I have already tried everything (except violence).

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Question

Compassion

Responsibility

2023/11-2024/01

DHHS Welfare Bosses,

Another year has nearly passed.
You asked me to check in with you, first.
The time for Redetermination is fast approaching.
All that has changed of my financials is SocSec COLA, again.

1) Shall we now resume our battle over bureaucracy, like previously? Or perhaps, you could simply allot one shopping-cartful of Food for 2024 on SNAP? Which auto-qualifies a person for free/ discount phone/ internet service, heating/ electrical assistance, BRAND.Service discounts… For the reasonable price of one dollar a day: you (too) can help out one of Your {healthcareless, hungry, isolated, cold, struggling, disabled} Neighbors.

2) Which reminds me: ‘Health’ is integral to your Department's Name and Purpose… Please, look to the 2023 entries for MedicalMaladventures.org. Is there something/ nothing you/ anyone (else) can do to help regarding any of all that? I Tried. [Reminder: I have reached the 100% Monthly Penalty level for (so far, lack of, never can) Medicare B. And I exceed income limits for Medicaid/ HealthCare.gov discounts.] I do not believe I shall survive another year of Neglect… Whom are we (then) to Blame?

Happy Thanksgiving.

----

Reply1: Voicemail: Requesting to discuss redetermination.

Reply2: Email: 1) Redetermination in Spring. 2) No Comment.

----

Welfare Bosses,
[cc: Governor's Office,]

Thank you for the lunch money.

1) Wouldn't it make more sense for me (and others on SocSec) to be scheduled for SNAP Redeterminations in January, after COLA is applied? Rather than having to run the numbers, again, for how many people? Further, wouldn't it make more sense (and save money) to redetermine annually those (like me) whose income is fixed? [Freeing you up to spend more money helping more people rather than paying your people to (try and) deny more people?] Further, how many of the other programs you offer could indeed be more cost-effective if instead they were pushed to (semi-)annual redetermination for those who are not ‘going’ anywhere, have long since sufficiently proven their insufficient (unchanging) financials, who clearly are not trying to cheat you?

2) Reminder: Did any of you look into my MedicalMaladventures.org entries, as requested? ‘Health’ is in the definition/ name of your job purpose/ titles. I have serious concerns about how the industry, local providers (and those supposed to regulate/ supplement it) operate. Can You Help Me? [Or even acknowledge that I am, again, requesting your help?] Because ignoring, dodging, ‘looking the other way’ is what leaves people (like me) to suffer (and die) from treatable conditions… Or is the fullest extent of your ‘Health Services’ accepting/ denying applications for medical-financial support? And for any/ everything else: "No Comment" is the Only Response?

----

Reply: 1) Redetermination in December. 2) No Comment.

----

Welfare Bosses,
[cc: (10x:) DHHS Bureaus, Governor's Office, State DOJ,]

Thank you for (again) proving my point. Please provide the entirety of my (decade+long) case files to the other Departments/ Offices addressed in this letter. Core Concerns: Mental/ Physical Health Inadequacies/ Avoidance, Systemic Discrimination, Departmental Disconnect, Bureaucratic Inefficiency, Wasted Taxpayer Money.

I cannot help but feel that, on behalf of (all) those left behind, it is my Obligation to file a complaint/ grievance. Or at least, try harder to find that someone whose job it is to dig deeper into the Systemic Failures that have, over the years, been (depressingly) demonstrated (/dismissed). [Trouble is, your Complaint Process Department and Quality Assurance Unit have only phone numbers.]

[Later…]
Governor's Office,
[cc: (10x:) DHHS, State DOJ,]

A week has passed and (as expected) there has been no response from the DHHS (nor anyone on this thread). This is why bureaucracy requires Oversight: for when (eventually) it has written-out ‘Responsibility’ from its own Rules; for when protecting its (undeserved) Pride supersedes defending the endangered public.

ps. <DRAFT> [Another Week Later..?]
State DOJ, [cc: DHHS, Governor's Office, ACLU,]

This is why we require the Justice System: for when Government fails to hold its Welfare Agencies Accountable for (eventually) Failing to live up to the Principles upon which they were Founded (in good faith); for when evidence of Endemic {discriminatory, ineffectual, wasteful, harmful} Practices are Ignored.</DRAFT>

----
Reply: “SNAP benefits, and the policies and procedures for determining eligibility for those benefits, are set by the Federal Government as all SNAP benefits are paid for by the Federal Government. State DHHS simply acts an agent or subcontractor for the Federal government to determine those benefits consistent with the policies set by the Federal government. If you believe that the Federal policies on determining eligibility are discriminatory, you must reach out to them. All this office can do is review your case to see if the DHHS has determined your eligibility correctly, consistent with those Federal policies. We have done that and have concluded that your SNAP benefits have been determined correctly consistent with those Federal policies. If you would like to complain that you believe that the Federal policies are discriminatory, you need to reach out to the Federal Partner that oversees this program which is the Food and Nutrition Service under the United States Department of Agriculture.” ~ Associate Ombudsman, State DHHS
----

State DHHS (et al.),
[cc: Governor's Office, State DOJ,]

See how easy that was? "It's not OUR fault, blame the Feds." Imagine how much effort and stress could have been saved had only somebody bothered to dump that redirect upon me a year ago rather than writing nothing (in response) at all? [Most any answer is more helpful than No Comment (even if it is condescending).]

Please add that finger-point to your ‘No-Fault Answers’ Rolodex… Set the next concerned (feels-discriminated-against) (disabled) person on the right path right away rather than [insert favorite abandonment (/cowardice) metaphor here], again.

And with that, there is nothing (more) about my situation (any of) you feel any responsibility for, or to (exert any effort to) Help Me with, I presume? [The associate ombudsman having served (all involved) as your human(ity) liability-shield… not my problem; no (further) response/ action required; case closed?]

[No Response…]
USDA, USDA-FNS, USDA-OIG, US Senators, US Representative,

Attached: My more-memorable Complaint letters to/about the DHHS and SNAP.

Includes: My thwarted attempt to file a Grievance with/through STATE…

Who definitively directed all the Blame straight at You.

Kindly, take these Concerns seriously.

Consider the Hungry Children.

[Later… (only respondent:)]
Office of the Representative,
[cc: (Vice) President, Senators, Governor, USDA, DHHS, DOJ,]

Had you have taken the time to read what I sent you… the Governor's Office has not responded to my several emails recently (nor any, for years); the DHHS left no room for interpretation other than: "Fault the Feds!" ending the conversation; State takes No Responsibility for how (poorly/ maliciously) they subcontract/ implement the program/ policies of the Federal SNAP… Misdirecting any potential Liability for years with No Comment and/or No-Fault (Non-)Answers. [Much the same as everyone, everywhere.]

So, here I am at the Federal Level (again), getting sent back down to State, who, were they to respond, would only send me back to Federal… This being a Federal Program Problem, which is being mishandled at the State Level, who Blame the Federal …and around and around and around… until nobody remembers who/ what/ where/ when/ why (hoping the civilian gives up, goes away), and nothing ever changes.

However, as I understand it, more restrictions/ cutbacks are being advocated for Food Programs, as opponents claim it is a waste of money (for being poorly run; for hating the poor), which will only result in More Children Going Hungry because nobody will take Responsibility for Fixing what has been malintentionally Broken… [When instead it is far simpler/ easier to (continue to) campaign upon: "Blame the Opposition."]

To All Addressed,

The (forthcoming, greater numbers of) Starving Children –directly resultant of the dysfunctional Federal State-Run Program(s), whom nobody claims Authority over– are (at least, partially) Your Responsibility.

Now, tell us that's wrong. Tell us there's nothing you can do. Tell us that you are (all) powerless.

Then, point your Blame-Finger at the next "Not Our Fault" program/ office/ obstacle…

Rinse, Repeat… Children Suffer.

Happy New Year.

ps. [Cardboard Sign:] Will Consult (further) for Healthcare, Food

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Rules:

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Contribute:

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ids,

mobile {android, apple} life.

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whatever plops into your mind.

more

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android vs. apple: 'royal' inspiration.

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gender-based mis-communication.

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txtherapy.org

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helpful?

effingtxt.org

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<insert>profanity</insert> here.

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mistype/auto-correct/misinterpret, mishap.

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Inspire

Simplicity

2021/10/##

PROVIDER,

I am sorry to see that you have joined the others in no longer offering free smartphones. Also, bigger is not always better. We don't all live on our phones, watch hi-def videos in the palm of our hands, nor need tri+cameras. Being forced to (over)pay for over-powered, over-accessorized, over-pixelated (aka: gaming, social media fetish) devices is not acceptable.

Talk to your OS hardware providers. Demand something(s) smaller/ simpler/ cheaper. [BRAND gets it, but I don't like BRAND or their limited options, and they ain't cheap.]

Here is what I want/ need for my next telephone…

– Purpose: talk, text, tunes, tasks, time, travel, translate.

– ‘Mini:’ like the classic BRAND.MODEL. [I still use mine as an alarm clock, flashlight, midnight note-taker; all RF disabled for EM-free dreams.]

– ‘Small:’ no bigger than, say, the BRAND.MODEL.

– Battery: user-removable/ upgradeable.

– Camera: singular, on the back. [My selfie camera gets taped over, always.]

– Thumbprint scanner (front-bottom): can work as a d-pad for quick navigation.

– Tunes: want a microSD I can load up with flac/ mp3s: bluetooth/ usb to the car, boombox or dock.

– Headphone jack: yes, it looks less like muttering to oneself. [Plus, we don't all want to be(come) Cybermen.]

– LED notifications: fully customized: color, speed, timeout; by contact, apps. [I'm tired of having to go poke my phone every hour or so to see if I missed something (important/ inane). I prefer to know that with just my eyes, from across the room, which is where you'll usually find my phone at home: nowhere near me.]

– Provider/Manufacturer proprietary apps: limited, removable. (Always the first thing uninstalled/ frozen.)

– Tasks/scratchpad: mayhap a (dedicated) hard-button(-combo) to invoke/ stop voice/ tasks recorder?

– Voice Assistant: easily, definitively disableable. (Or at least, hard-button-only activated.)

– Rootable: some of us don't appreciate being merely a guest-user on our own computer. No need to make it difficult. [Better you provide the patch than some sketchy hacker.]

Should we want to get work/play done, there's: computers, tablets, bigger phones. I don't want to carry a (delicate) ‘brick’ in my pocket, just want a ‘telephone.’ I know I'm not the only one. Clarifications: I don't use social media (ever), rarely watch videos (esp. on-the-go), don't vid-chat/ selfie (period), don't play games (beyond solitaire), don't leave data/ sync enabled (only fire up wifi occasionally to check email/ news/ weather).

I just want an old-style, smaller, simple (yet still OS) Telephone. (That doesn't mean others can't load it down with all their favorite distractions.) Such a device would not require newer tech, doesn't need the extra (expensive) hardware/ processors/ battery, instead use the old stuff, cheaply manufactured. Make it simply small, durable, memory-sufficient, water-resilient. [I would happily be a beta-tester.]

The best part… it will be Free if we agree to stick around for another two(/three) years… just like it used to be, for loyal customers… like me. Be the provider who Respects that we don't all want/ need the latest/ greatest/ biggest devices forced upon us, for additional monthly expense.

Be better than your competitors.

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accommodations

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Speculate

Better

2022/06/##

BRAND,

I respect your products, BRAND is my preferred brand, I have owned many over the decades. I now ‘rent’ the BRAND.MODEL. I have a few suggestions…

1) Security:
I appreciate that you let us unlock our devices. I would really appreciate it if you could provide me a basic, stock Recovery (backup, restore) specifically for my updated model. The (recovery) developers have since moved on from this device and there is no recovery that works with my newer revision. [Operation not permitted, file(s) not found, etc.] Having Root, it is easier to brick the phone (especially during initial configuration, getting it set the way we want). I had to start all over again, more than twice. Would have been faster with proper backups. You folks could cook me up a recovery in just a few minutes. [Promise I won't share it with anyone.] If this is just a matter of warranty/ liability, I will gladly sign away my phone's soul to get a functional recovery.

If you were to work with DEVELOPER to get stable (official) recoveries out there, and figure out seamless OTA Updating (for stock ROMs), you would be improving overall stability and security for all your rooted (by your kind permission) customers, becoming a legend in the Developer forums, gaining you more respect and more power-users advocating your brand superiority.

People are going to tinker, better to keep one thumb on the basecode.

2) Practicality:
The OS ‘mini/small’ smartphone market is wide open. Please consider aiming smaller, too. Smartphones have gotten stupidly bigger than they need be for those of us who don't “live by the phone, die by the phone.” I am not the sort to wield a broadsword when a dagger will suffice. The right tool…

We do not all need huge smartphones, there are more of us who think this way than you realize. Now, for OS (and my provider in specific) the size selection is dismal (only (X)XL anymore). When was it decided that all phones should be two-handed to operate? Small smartphones are where we started, they worked just fine for over a decade. The draw of nostalgia is strong. But, if I want to carry something small(er) again, I have to switch to OS2 (or OS foldable) and pay a premium for the ‘privilege.’ Be the brand to show us how well OS (non-flip) mini/ small can be done, again.

Pure profitability over practicality leaves your customers displeased.

3) Disability:
For the past few weeks my hands and wrists have been in constant pain. What changed? New Phone.

I can only hold this new phone for 30 minutes (twice a day; one-handed: 10 minutes) before I start cramping up. That's half what it was with my previous phone, and it didn't leave me in pain. I am disabled. I wasted my youth playing videogames, followed by decades of keyboard/ mouse/ texting. It left my hands/ wrists severely weakened. I had to abandon my career in computers long ago.

My new phone, being the second-smallest with OS (offered by my service provider; the smallest ran out of memory halfway through installing my standard apps, returned it), requires constant grip-shift and further thumb-reaches than previously to operate. More motion + more weight = more strain. That extra 1.4 inches of screen and the added 1.4 ounces are enough to hobble me. [Pathetic, I know. Welcome to my reality.] Consider what that is doing to everyone else, long-term, who use their bigger/ heavier (additionally so with a protective case) devices far more than me. If I wasn't poor, I would invest heavily in artificial thumb replacements… It's going to be the next big thing, guaranteed. [But who will be paying for them?]

Think of me like the canary in the coalmine… There's a problem here. What's the solution? Must I give up on OS? Or perhaps, manufacturers might consider accommodating those like me by offering a small(er) phone? [Think of the potential class-action lawsuits for all these years you offered us no other choice than but to Buy Big, resulting in injury and pain.] A problem that can be remedied, easily enough. Something to consider.

Accommodate better, please.

----

Response: “We are sorry that your experience didn't quite match your expectations.”

----

BRAND,

My only expectation was to get a new OS phone I could reasonably handle. It seems that was too much for this disabled customer to hope for.

Let's talk about Planned Obsolescence… I would have kept using my (five-year-old; battery still good as always/ only slow-charged) BRAND.MODEL, but the last OTA was years ago and some apps started refusing to update, causing compatibility crashes. I was forced to get a new device. Well played.

I kept waiting and waiting for another ‘small’ OS phone to come to market, but it never did. And here I am, stuck with 30 months of additional cost for a fancy (majority-of-the-time) paperweight (mocking me). I hope your shareholders are happy. That's all that matters, right?

Do better.

[Later…]
BRAND, PROVIDER,

Thank you for proving your corporate disinterest in dealing (properly) with disabled customers. I suspected, now I know for sure. Ignoring ‘the problem’ doesn't make it go away, as much as we might wish that were so. Would it have made a difference if I had instead demanded (rather than requested) to hear back, over email, from someone with Authority to address Disability Issues?

I have no intention to pursue legal recourse, promise. [Can't speak for the next person.] All I want/need is an OS phone I can actually use worth a damn, given my disabilities. Think of me as Patient Zero. Figure out how to ‘treat’ me and you will be prepared to deal (responsibly) with those inevitably to follow.

Or will you again(/always) turn out the lights and pretend you're not home?

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…la biblioteca

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silent.

Question

2023/09-2024/01

Support Department,

Clearly, I have floated to the top of this particular fishbowl. But there are many more in a company such as yours (some with factual insight). The time has come to directly consult the legal team. I am considering defying your BRAND Store Terms, in the name of Personal Use. Your ‘Library’ software, such as it is, is deficient, and not disability friendly: Accessibility has failed to be a consideration when it comes to browsing past purchases. All of which have I tried to explain, several different times/ ways (over the past few weeks). Rather than repeating myself, again, please pass along this entire thread to the Legal Department. They should have the Authority required to (finally) Answer this one simple Question (given the givens)… Will BRAND revoke/ terminate my account/ library should I attempt to download/ de-DRM/ manage my purchases for Myself?

[(a week) Later…]
[same] Department,

No hurry on the PRODUCT Support Request. I suspect you have again overcomplicated basic operations by overprotecting the media (causing more errors/ glitches/ cpu than necessary), as usually happens to most over-DRM'd media formats/ software/ hardware. [All of which get ‘cracked’ anyway, eventually.]

Thank you for the gift card. [Not what I was after though.] However, I am still annoyed that most every ebook is listed as "Free" (if I join CLUB.SAVE.1). Kindly revoke that flag on my account. I do not want to join your book club. Nor do I want to join CLUB.SAVE.0: kindly stop bothering/ forcing me about that one, too.

I do not care about “…MAY result in the closure…” I need to know if it WILL result in closure of my account and thereby forfeiture of all my digital purchases. As I have made clear: poor Accessibility of my Own(ed) Library is but one of a few factors. This Disabled Customer Requires The Answer: Are you going to take away all of my (~12,500) books if I pursue a (better) third-party approach to managing them? Yes or No. Not May or Maybe or Might or Perhaps or Possibly or Potentially. Please, hand me over to whomever CAN answer, as it is clearly not your department.

Parley.

[(another week) Later… No Response]
[same] Department,

I started downloading (legitimately, through your interface) all of my (encrypted) books… 2.5 hours (and 6,000+ clicks) later, and I got only 10% of the way through. I require, and ask kindly, of you to send me my Entire Library. What would take me 24+ hours (and 60,000+ clicks) of excruciatingly mind-numbing, OCD-aggravating, wrist/ hand-aching effort, someone at BRAND should be able to accomplish in just a few minutes. Save this disabled customer the unnecessary effort. Please acknowledge if this is something you can/ will (not) do.

[(several pleas) Later… No Response]
BRAND,

Let's try the Flaming Bag of Poo (upon your front porch) approach…
I have knowingly and willfully Violated your BRAND Store Terms. I have de-DRM'd the following Titles [with a third-party program which can also (/better) transfer/ sync books between My (not-just-your-brand) Devices]: Quran, Tanakh, Holy Bible, The Communist Manifesto, Atlas Shrugged, The Art Of War, Crime & Punishment, Brave New World, Catch-22, The Castle… to name the first of (many thousands of) my purchases I intend to take ‘ownership’ of such to better Manage My Own Library…

Thoughts? Reactions?
Choose Wisely.

[(several evasions) Later… (same department)]
BRAND Supervisor,

No more rounds of ‘dodge the disability/ liability issues.’

Kindly, put me in touch with the Legal Department.

I have been stuck in this fishbowl for Two Months.

Time for Authority, Answers, Action.

ps. If you cannot contact your own legal/ leadership department(s) when requested/ required…

----

React: “My team serves as the highest point of escalation and we can make sure your concerns are properly addressed.”

----

BRAND,

Answer me these questions three… [twice asked]

1) Can you please provide me a valid/ human email address for your BRAND Careers Department? [The positions/ titles for which I am capable/ qualified do not exist on your Employment Website. Further, ‘work from home’ jobs do not exist anywhere near me (figure that one out).] Your (AI?) application process does not offer the Reasonable Modifications/ Accommodations I Require, and hereby do I again Request.

2) I had to Violate your BRAND Store Terms: in the pursuit/ name of Accessibility. Is there nothing anybody, anywhere has anything to say/ do about that?

3) Are you refusing to provide me a valid/ human email address for your BRAND Legal Department? [Or is that Contact Information only an Attorney may/ must Request?]

Happy Halloween.

----

React1: 1) FAQ links 2) “…still researching all the necessary information…” 3) PO Box

React2: 1) Employment Website links 2) “We have no further information…” 3) Invalid Email Address

----

[Later…]
BRAND,

What's a Fax? Is that one of those archaic notions like checkbooks, stamps, job security, a pension, Respect? [Insert age-appropriate idiom here.] Accommodate My Reasonable Request for Email Contact with Your Other (‘man behind the curtain’) Departments, please.

----

React1: “You've written to an address that does not accept incoming direct e-mails.”

React2: “Out of the office… I'll do my best to answer… [copy/ paste React2.Above here]”

React3: “The recipient's mailbox is full and can't accept messages now. Please try resending later.”

----

BRAND,

1) Your (Employment) Website IS the Problem, NOT the Solution… Please stop sending me back there.
- Your frequently linked-to "We're disability friendly!" (propaganda) page is unhelpful to my situation. [And frankly insulting, esp. given how my ‘difficulties’ have perpetually been mishandled/ dodged.]

2) “No Comment” never solves the Problem, nor makes it go away. Addressing the Situation is what it will take. I am happy to consult further. [Will (gladly) accept Food for my (continued) time/ effort.]

3) As has been stated (more-than-twice, spanning departments): over-the-phone does not work for me. [There really should be an ‘Accommodations Flag’ on my account regarding this fact, by now.]
- As has further been established, proven to you: <invalid contact> is an invalid contact method. [And presenting it to me (yet again) as a Solution is (doubly) disrespectful.]

Regarding: “…not up to the usual standards you've come to expect from us…” This is where I must refrain from writing something hurtful. Instead, I counter by pointing out a persistent lapse in one of your Core Principles: “…freely escalating to leadership when a more careful and thorough approach is required.”

[Weeks Later… (wasted with:)]
BRAND HR Investigator,

We are fast approaching Month Four of my “BRAND Disability Quest.”

This is (now) a test of your department's (in)competence… You are not off to a good start. [Ignores:3]

If You Do Not Understand: whether it be this person/ situation, that is okay, life is often confusing. But, you are (in theory) a member of a Team. This is not (supposed to be) about individual pass/ fail. It is (supposed to be) about Working Together to solve problems, make things better. Diverse Perspectives, and all that (rhetoric?).

Or are you truly all alone here? No support, no guidance? Expected to be able to handle whatever (mess) lands upon your desk? Is asking for help considered a sign of weakness? Always safer just to shuffle a problem under ‘the pile’ and hope it(/them) gets lost? [So much (digital) paperwork, so easy to get misplaced/ forgotten…]

Note: The longer this festers upon your desk, the greater this Failure becomes (entirely) Your Fault.

Shall it be more rounds (/departments) of Mishandle the Disability Concerns?

[Because those differently+abled have nothing to contribute?]

[Later… (same, solitary:)]
HR Investigator,

1) That you are sending me the Accommodations Phone Number and "People with Disabilities" link (again) demonstrates that you Do Not Understand, or have not read, what I have sent you. I must question your investigative methods/ capabilities/ inclusiveness, and suggest/ insist a Supervisor review your review before you/ they submit my case for review…

2) Just what Information have you gathered? How much data, from how many departments, through how many of my accounts/ addresses, over how many years, do you have Access to, or even looked into? [He inquires a third time.]

3) And why, of all the Concerns I brought to BRAND's attention (over the past few months, to start), is the only Issue hereby being addressed regarding the Website Application Process? Is nothing else upon which I have ruminated worthy of due consideration/ discussion/ investigation?

[Even Later…]
BRAND HR Department, Investigator,

Another week has passed (uneventfully)…

Can I please get a status update on my support case?

A Case: which was supposedly to be submitted a week ago; which then supposedly a Supervisor was to be enjoined upon; which I keep finding myself forced to question your (competency to continue this) investigation… as No Answers have yet been forthcoming regarding my repeated inquiries.

Would Demanding to hear from a Supervisor accomplish anything, at this point?

Or perhaps, [insert a more creative, motivational (/threat) tactic here] is required?

Come Friday, I shall have been stuck in your queue for One Month.

[Has this become the typical turnaround time to be expected?]

[No Response…]
BRAND (25x:) Support Team Members,

I am addressing all of you as all of you contributed to this case, having sent one/ more of the 40+ emails I received over the past Four Months (or so). Update: An HR Investigator has clearly scuttled my case, hoping to drown all evidence of their failure. Who wants to earn a gold-star power-up for reporting incompetence/ corruption further up the escalations chain? If so, simply pass along this thread to Your Supervisor.

Happy Yule.

[No Response. Later, Elsewhere…]
BRAND Accessibility, Disability Departments,

I have exposed more than a few Accommodation Failures: spanning multiple departments and products and services and employment(-sought), over the past few months (/years). The most troubling issue is that nobody once pointed me in Your Direction, which should have been their go-to for Accessibility/ Disability Concerns…

Attached: Examples of BRAND's Inability to Accommodate ‘Special’ Needs. [75 pages]

Respectfully, Acknowledge this Request for Parley.

Take Me To Your Leader(ship).

silent.
~ Creative/ Disability Consultant, Systems Troubleshooter

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Advocate

Accessibility

2024/02/29

BRAND,

BRAND app is the worst Accessibility Offender, on your BRAND, which I exhaustively covered in my previous message. [17 pages] Below are examples of how better the other-provider apps on your platform could perform, for Greater Accessibility… Kindly remind them that there are Accessibility Standards you/ they are required to live up to (or better yet, excel beyond), and, that it would be the right/ polite thing to do…

– Force/insist all the apps to integrate your Menu(/more/ star/ kebab/ hamburger/ long-tap/ right-click) remote-button while ‘hovering’ over anything: Add, Remove, Restart, Bookmark, Captions, Font, Colors, Audio, etc. [Sad how few providers have ever bothered (or took forever) to make (limited) use of this versatile button.]

– Option to adjust Auto-Play Preview time-out: Currently about half a second on BRAND (the worst) which forces me to browse faster through the content than I would prefer just to prevent the flashing lights and sounds from auto-playing, distracting/ annoying me. Option to wait a three-count (per example) before the Preview begins: would provide me sufficient time to scan the description and/or look at (just) the cover to know if I might be interested enough to watch the preview (rather than me dodging the sounds/ lights that are always forthcoming if I linger too long). [Yes, some apps have the option to turn off auto-preview, but, I do want it to run, just give me a few more (number of my choosing) seconds before the barrage begins, please.]

– My (Watch)List (by any other name): Would prefer if that were always at/near the top of (left-hand) menus. Often at/near the bottom: too many clicks (always) to get to it, it feels. I prefer to browse through a bunch of whatever they recommend to me (today), first, and Add2Watchlist anything I might enjoy (eventually, when in the mood for ‘that’), and then later browse my ‘queue’ to then make my decision of what to watch, today.

– Add to (Watch)List: Option/Preference for that to be at/near the top of the movie/ show/ episode details. Is sometimes way far down at/near the bottom (*ahem* BRAND): too many clicks to Add. It would be even better if that choice came up with a click of Menu-Button from the previous screen, without having to click it and nav, nav, nav down (quickly, before the preview begins) just to Add (to click Back to resume browsing).

– Ability to Play Next while within any episode: some episodes simply aren't worth (re)watching, you figure out somewhen along the way. Some apps have that option, press Down or Up (I am constantly hitting the wrong direction on the wrong app), and there the Next-Button is for: BRAND, BRAND, BRAND (but only since they integrated BRAND Beta). BRAND/ BRAND/ BRAND make you wait for their ‘Next Episode’ pop-up (which doesn't always show); otherwise, you have to click Back, nav-click, nav-click, nav-click back to the Next Episode (however far away from wherever they decided to dump our cursor). [Rude. More below.]

– When exiting Back from an episode, take us to that episode thumbnail (among the others). [For the convenience of those of us skipping around, or doing battle with the ‘already watched’ kerfuffle, below.] More than a few will dump us back at Episode 1 (Season 1, or even the wrong one: *ahem* BRAND) and we have to navigate our way back to the next episode, which should have been just one simple nav-click away.

– Option: Reset Watch History: Show/ Season. These apps all behave erratically when you try to rewatch anything (some better/ worse than others): many try to play from where you left off in the episode (the very end) with nary enough time to invoke any buttons (which sometimes exit you from the episode, instead) to Rewind-faster-faster-faster back to the beginning of the episode (when, inconveniently, no ‘Start Over’ button is offered up anywhere on-screen) before jumping to the next episode (sometimes to the very end of that episode, too). Unpredictable how they will act. Given these difficulties, for some apps, like BRAND, I make sure to start-over the next episode before I exit-out when done watching for then, just so I don't have to fight with the app to continue (re)watching, next time… [Enough to drive any obsessive (rewatchers) crazy.]

– Continue Watching: Ability to remove unwanted content, easily, from all providers. [If I only watched it for 5-15 minutes, then immediately started watching something else, and weeks have since passed… take the hint.] Some apps have gotten better about knowing when we have "finished" watching a movie/ episode: when the end-credits had started; some (like BRAND) have gotten exponentially worse (re-offering-up movies we finished watching months ago), and provide no (easy) way to remove them: other than by fast-forwarding to the near-end (of the final episode) and playing out the last few seconds. [*forehead smack*]

– Skip Recap, Intro: How hard is it to precisely line these things (/make sure they always come) up, and integrate it into every episode of a series? [Ask for volunteers, there will be no shortage.] Some (like SHOW) do it perfectly (just-before to just-after that terrible intro song, so we don't have to hear/ hate it, which is appreciated), others wait 5-10 (or never) seconds, or at differential times, episode-to-episode, which is annoying, inconvenient. Also, how many times in-a-row must a viewer (Skip Preview,) Skip Recap, Skip Intro.. Next Episode before the app catches on and does it for us for the rest of the session? [BRAND gets it. *ahem* BRAND/ BRAND] Isn't this the sort of ‘inconvenience-avoidance’ feature we invented AI for?

– Option to Flag/Hide All ‘Full-Time’ Subtitled/ Dubbed Content. I do not mind the occasional, conversational subtitle when another language is used, (appreciate it, point in fact: not every app always does that: *ahem* BRAND/ BRAND) but I cannot watch a completely Subtitled [because words on the screen entirely distract me from everything else; even the opening credits overlaid upon any content ‘overrules’ whatever is happening behind] or Dubbed [as I am eternally distracted by the voices not matching the faces and therefore cannot get emotionally invested in the characters/] movie/ show; and there are far more non-English-default options in their selection than previously, (which is a good thing, overall) but for me it means more time-wasted figuring out (halfway through the preview what language it wasn't native to, and therefore) that my ‘difficulties’ will utterly ruin any chance I might otherwise have had of enjoying it, so please stop offering them up, tucking them in amongst the rest. [I just cannot ‘appreciate’ them, tried though I have.]

– Free (w/ CC#) Trial: No Watchlist, No Continue Watching, failing to remember what we've already seen..? Why, to bully us into buying their streaming hardware instead? After how poorly they just demonstrated their streaming service? Please, give them hell. [This is (partly) why I give BRAND none of my money.]

+ Playlists: It would be excellent to be able to make/ have Streaming Playlists. Examples– BRAND shows+ movies in timeline order. Crossover multi-show events. Favorite (mostly) standalone (/Monster of the Week) for SHOW/ SHOW. Watch SHOW in under 24 hours (perhaps even allowing partial, pertinent-only portions of episodes?). [SHOW: all flashbacks auto-skipped. I'd watch that, in half the time.] Best of SHOW/ SHOW/ SHOW to show to our kids, in an abbreviated/ age-appropriate fashion… You get the idea. Build our own, then perhaps export/ share/ import to/ with/ from friends/ family/ strangers. This could be an Exclusive (‘newer’ hardware, of course) BRAND Feature (until the others launch their own version) that would put you above/ beyond the (limitations of the) other streaming media players (for a time, anyways). [You'd be my favorite.]

Those were my initial thoughts after pondering awhile upon: Accessibility, Disability and BRAND.

Demand better of those (deliberately) making ‘you’ perform worse on your own platform.

ps. You know more about my streaming habits than anyone else. I expect you to (continue to) respect that. Same as how I have come to respect you (for being unlike BRAND/ BRAND/ BRAND/ BRAND/ BRAND).

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.ThroneThots.org

~

whatever plops into your mind.

Rules:

expounded

+

It's not about 'les toilettes.'

+

It only has to make sense to you.

Category:

choose

–

ToDo:

laundry list.

–

Doubt:

fail, because.

–

Wonder:

what would?

–

Dream:

maybe, someday.

–

Amuse:

an original funny.

–

Advise:

user-experience.

–

Zing:

can I get a do-over?

–

Revelate:

oh, of course.

–

Fortune:

cookie-style.

–

Forgot:

oh, shit.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

mobile (android) life, a moment to think.

expounded

Respond:

choose

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react.

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expound.

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complain

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expounded

More:

sample(s)

initiate

more

What?

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.CrapperQuips.org

~

whatever plops into your mind.

Rules:

expounded

+

It's not about 'les toilettes.'

+

It only has to make sense to you.

Category:

choose

–

ToDo:

laundry list.

–

Doubt:

fail, because.

–

Wonder:

what would?

–

Dream:

maybe, someday.

–

Amuse:

an original funny.

–

Advise:

user-experience.

–

Zing:

can I get a do-over?

–

Revelate:

oh, of course.

–

Fortune:

cookie-style.

–

Forgot:

oh, shit.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

mobile (apple) life, a moment to think.

expounded

Respond:

choose

–

react.

–

expound.

–

complain

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expounded

More:

sample(s)

initiate

more

What?

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.ThroneThots.org

~

whatever plops into your mind.

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ToDo

2011/12/##

by

silent.

– understand how it is i think.
– help others to understand.

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Doubt

2012/10/##

by

silent.

Nobody will like it, because they won't understand what i am trying to do, again.

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Wonder

2011/09/##

by

silent.

What would happen if i wrote down those fleeting moments of everyday inspiration, instead of simply forgetting?

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Dream

2012/08/##

by

silent.

a place to discuss, freely.

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Amuse

2012/07/##

by

silent.

"A SpEd director, a Sufi mystic, and a schizophrenic discover a tarnished old lamp in the receding tide…"

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Advise

2012/06/##

by

silent.

Guys: you will only ever help to endear yourself to any woman if every time she comes to visit, your bathroom is spot-less.

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Zing

2012/05/##

by

silent.

It was like firing BBs at a battleship, nothing impressive came of it.

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Revelate

2012/04/##

by

silent.

Never has respect been given by telling of all that i have been handed, it has been earned by telling of all that i have fought for.

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Fortune

2012/03/##

by

silent.

If to garner attention a nudie pic is sent, embareassment is certain to follow.

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Forgot

2012/02/##

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silent.

My ex-wedding anniversary.

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Dream

2011/12/##

by

silent.

a way to help people.

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Fortune

2011/11/##

by

silent.

Devote less time to making money and more time to making happy.

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Fortune

2011/10/##

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silent.

Ever be whomever you are, despite whatever another may say.

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Advise

2014/03/##

by

silent.

To my child: It is ok to 'make fun' if all involved agree it 'is fun,' otherwise, it is 'picking on,' which, too, can 'be fun,' until it goes 'too far.'

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Wonder

2014/12/##

by

silent.

Bulk-txt:
Wishing you (and yours) nothing but the best for the foreseeable future. I'm looking to simplify my contacts for the upcoming year.. figure out who's where, when. Respectfully, should I assign you to the category of 'nostalgia friend'? Otherwise, we should hang, it's been too long. Be well.

…to all those that didn't respond [which was most]:
'ignore' may well be accepted practice within the fbook.. elsewhere, it remains inconsiderate.

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Amuse

2015/10/##

by

silent.

"Jesus, Muhammad and Joseph Smith mistakenly walk into a gay bar…"

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.irrelative.org

~

thematically challenged.

Rules:

expounded

Intent:

stackable

Inspire,

Question,

Speculate,

Complain.

Contribute:

pseudononymous

ids,

user-experience.

expounded

 ~ affiliate domains ~ 

MedicalMaladventures.org

sample(s)

~

ow, my pride.

SelfDeprecation.org

initiate

~

go ahead, make fun of (y)ourself.

ShatHappened.org

~

now what?

meanwhilst.org

~

an other where, an other who(m).

mayhap.org

~

an other way.

2012+.org

~

a new beginning.

–

already begun.

What?

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PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

~

ow, my pride.

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medical maladventures

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silent.

Complain

Speculate

2012/08/##

Doc,

You are my favorite doctor, ever. You understand me, you are always there, you do what's best and proper and decent. The support-staff belonging to your parent (and competitor) companies, not so much. I shall, with dramatic flair, haltingly, dictate this true tale of misery and woe [leaving you and H-Bomb (your Nurse) blameless, praised, deservedly] encountered along my unfortunate series of medical maladventures.. Enjoy.

This tale of torture began with the 'SYMPTOM.EMBARRASSING scare' of a few months ago.. I told you I was concerned, you understood, you called for a test. [Regardless of my nonexistent health insurance, billing at your lowest rate.] Life got distracting, I filed SYMPTOM.EMBARRASSING under the 'nothing you can do, they always call' category ..apparently, so did your records-staff.. A month later, when I got a bill [not even slightly discounted] I remembered, I called, "Everything's a-ok, thanks for reminding us." ..Something about that bothered me.. Misplaced.

Then, trouble. You saw me right away, you heard me, you understood. H-Bomb made me promise. That promise, alone, may well have saved my life ..Thank You.. Injury, Triumph.

Aside: PROVIDER.SOUTH gave me their greenest, pimple-faced Intern, fresh out of technical 'college' to help me work through my tough time.. Insult.

Then, for a long scary day, my progeny tested positive for DISEASE.PANIC.ALL and everybody we knew had to be inoculated. [Instinct, call my favorite doctor: unavailable.] "I've been away for a while, do I need to be treated, is there a test I can take to avoid taking DOSE.SKETCHY unnecessarily?" Phone-staff: "I can squeeze you in, two days, maybe three.".. Fail.

I ran to Urgent Care ..because..well.. DISEASE.PANIC.ALL is BAD, right? [The news media loves to scare us with that one.] They explained that a PROCEDURE.RISK.9 is the only True Test ..fine, give me DOSE.SKETCHY.. The CDC eventually weighed in.. False Alarm.

Then, I started having SYMPTOM.DANGER, one of the universal BAD side effects you read about, warned to watch for with most every other DOSE.SKETCHY. Having recently lost faith in your phone-staff, I called Urgent Care. I explained that I had taken DOSE.SKETCHY. They said the ER had to test SYMPTOM.DANGER. I went, tested, waited, nothing wrong. My Port-a-Doc said, "That's not a listed side effect." He had to check again with his free smartphone app. Turns out [after a quick search] that it is perfectly safe, and often expected, to experience SYMPTOM.DANGER for a few days after taking a potent dose of that DOSE.SKETCHY.. Fail.

Somewhere, in the midst of all this, when I recognized my life was shaping up to be a Tragedy, I applied for financial assistance, got it, after only two months. Thank you PROVIDER.PREFERRED, truly. I owed significantly for your quality services which are provided in good faith. It was uplifting to watch debt evaporate rather than condense.. Appreciation.

Then, memory grows a little fuzzy as I dealt again with my old nemesis: AFFLICTION. This time it went all out: AFFLICTION.WORSE with SYMPTOM.BAD, SYMPTOM.WORSE, and SYMPTOM.HORRIBLE [nothing funny about that last symptom].. Injury.

I remember going to the hospital, clearly exhibiting SYMPTOM.WORSE. I was seen, properly, when it was my turn. [Emergency Room: I get it, priority.] The Port-a-Doc came in, performed EXAM.INDELICATE for AFFLICTION.WORSE, asked a few questions, left. A previously AFFLICTION.WORSE.PAIN.8, rocked all the way up to AFFLICTION.WORSE.PAIN.11. An indeterminable interval of time passed, reality was foggy. Next thing I knew, it was amateur hour in the SCAN.VISUAL lab. I was the puppet for two children, hanging me this way, that, not clear enough, take it again, relax, hold still, hold still ..all of which were potentially dangerous, excruciating positions for a person with AFFLICTION.WORSE, alongside lowering any hope for further progeny with each, bad, SCAN.VISUAL taken.. for far too long. The rest of that visit was lost to the ethers.. Spectacular Fail.

PILLS.CAUTION were, and have continued to be, offered, [freely, always, pressing] which is appreciated, [a little disconcerting] but, well, frankly, dangerous. I represent the clinical-perfect scenario to breed yet another pill addict awaiting actual treatment ..no thanks, I have plenty-enough problems already.. Temptation.

I went back, a few nights later.. (somehow) it'd gotten worse. I'd had enough, mercy, surrender, give me the PILLS.CAUTION. I sat in the ER again, exhibiting SYMPTOM.HORRIBLE, for longer than it probably should have taken, this time. I received the 'faker' treatment. My nurse, during the long walk to a supply-less room, clearly, indiscreetly, mouthed "junky" to another. Ouch. I explained, honestly, AFFLICTION.WORSE.PAIN.10, was given an injection in the butt, not gently, while being told it would help with the pain, immediately, it didn't. I can only speculate as to the actual content received.. Insult.

The SCAN.VISUALs came out fuzzy, you sent me for a SCAN.VISUAL.BETTER, quick. Result: I actually have AFFLICTION.WORSE, not just faking for drugs ..referral to PROVIDER.NORTH.SPECIALIST, an agonizing one month wait.. They presented their own particular brand of displeasure: violation of Privacy Rights, public embarrassment. [That's a whole other letter.] They pushed for a barbaric TREATMENT.NEVER cure ..pass, next.. TREATMENT.PREFERRED.ALPHA, perfect. Earliest is eight days away ..I can do this.. 8,7,6,5,4, "Our most sincere apologies..beyond our control..three more weeks.".. Sucker Punch.

I voiced my despair ..to all that would hear, to some that were tired of my weary voice.. I hunted for another provider, sooner, nada. [No insurance..no money..no thanks.] I am now [thank you H-Bomb] on the 'exclusive' short-list for cancellations. Unfortunately.. since my stomach has to be empty, nothing but clear liquids, for TREATMENT.PREFERRED.ALPHA, and that I don't know when it will be, as little as one-hour-notice, dietary protocol is severely disrupted until/if they call.. I've already lost WEIGHT.DISCONCERTING pounds due to AFFLICTION.WORSE ..Two more anvils to juggle in my already un-balancing act.. Haunting the phone, hurt, angry, [hungry,] praying, just waiting for that one call, to tell you it's over.. Cruel.

I was provided a book, which I finally cracked, outlining [photographs with circles & arrows & a paragraph] precisely how I could make AFFLICTION.WORSE suck less.. Special-Doc had made me swear that I would not attempt any of it until after my first TREATMENT.PREFERRED.BETA session ..three weeks away.. Surrender.

I barely survived a severe bout of ‘magnificent medical malfunction,’ a prevalent condition these days, so I hear, growing worse. My experience is an obvious symptom, I do not pretend to know the cure. You and H-Bomb are awesome though, I love you guys, truly. It is the company you keep that I am forced to question…

Be well.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

~

ow, my pride.

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referral failure

by

silent.

Complain

2018/08/##

Doc,

I am writing to explain why I have canceled my upcoming appointments…

It all began a year and a half ago, after surgery. That solved the CONFIDENTIAL. Yet, problems remained. You sent me to PT. Unfortunately, the referral stated "CONFIDENTIAL," which has plagued me ever since. It took two more referrals for the PT to finally lay hands upon me from neck to fingertips. Months later, I was only up to five-pound freeweights. Beyond their capabilities, time for more referrals.

I have been to see half a dozen specialists, and been administered as many tests. The first recommendation was: "Have some pills." The second: "Have more surgery." All the others: "Not my area. Have a referral."

I am tired of being examined a few inches at a time, a few months apart. Referrals to the other doctors have all been filled out same as the original, unhelpful "CONFIDENTIAL," no matter what I asked for. That is merely a symptom, not the problem (area). I then had to submit my request for a referral modification after it went through, often pushing me further back in the queue.

My upcoming appointments were re-referrals to retake painful tests, that had yielded inconclusive results. Third time's the charm? Don't think so. Still without insurance, I have relied upon the kindness of hospital financial assistance. Since surgery, that has accomplished nothing but waste everyone's time. I still hurt, I am still weak, still without diagnoses, still cannot perform my original profession.

Healthcare has been looking (and referring) for a convenient, single point of failure, in all the wrong places. The(ir) issues are clearly systemic in nature.

The fact that your (and your internationally renowned competitor) hospital doesn't offer any form of massage or acupuncture is discouraging. These practices, with millennia of proven results for pain relief and easing systemic problems, seem to have no place within your modern facilities.

I am disappointed with Western medicine, the latest is not (always) the greatest.

Thanks for trying.
Be well.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

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referral failure, take 2

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2023/01/##

Doc,

PROVIDER is still processing Referrals from October. They received yours on December ## (25+ days after our palaver, when I requested the referral). They will call me when they (finally) get around to me. They are currently booking appointments 6+ months out, after processing referrals. Any chance you could light a fire under their asses? I was hoping to get in more than just an Initial Consultation within the year… I would really like to know what is wrong with me.

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PonderHouse

[v0.79a]

alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

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ow, my pride.

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give a damn

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silent.

Question

2023/01/##

Hospital Medical Group,

I submitted what's below to those addressed. No response.

Is it your policy to ignore a (disabled) patient's cry for help?

You have an opportunity here to do some good, don't blow it (off) like everyone else…

Please, help me.

----

PCP Office, Doc,

I feel it is important that someone in your office read (all of) My Story [Attached; To the point, pages: ##] about the difficulties/ pratfalls of Surviving Disability. Lack of (proper) healthcare is a common theme/ cause throughout.

I cannot do this on my own anymore, nor should I have (had) to.

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[v0.79a]

alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

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ow, my pride.

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2023/01/##

Hospital Medical Group,

I am reluctant to dissect my ebook PDF just to make it easier to get to ‘the point,’ thereby ensuring it is taken completely out of context. [If it is too much effort for the reader to scroll to the indicated pages, then that is the wrong reader I seek.] The whole story is the whole point: everything that is wrong with me (/my life) is covered within (intentionally or not). What I need is someone (preferably, a Doctor) who can/ will take the time to see the Whole Picture, not just zero in on a few symptoms (/keywords) to reach their determination (of elsewhere to banish me). [Failure to see more than (/past) a quick referral opportunity (to no longer be their problem) is what has led to my disastrous disabled decade (not just medically).]

I asked Doc if there were other avenues we should be pursuing, rather than ‘all eggs’ waiting (/rotting) in one Referral ‘basket’ to see me, maybe later [but which never happened]: No Response (again). My Financial Assistance expires later this year. [I likely will not qualify again; yet still I cannot afford Medicare B.] My situation is more dire than can be solved with just one referral within the year. I seek that someone (under your healthcare umbrella) who recognizes this and can (/has the authority to) fast-track getting me the Help I require that has for far too long been out-of-reach/ delayed/ denied/ ignored.

ps. Some quick (unsolicited) suggestions for your department… The fact that your email-domain sends us to an error, rather than your website or a redirect (to the parent company/hospital) is sketchy, and does not inspire confidence. Also, it would be better if your every email had a default Footer of a standard Confidentiality Notice, as the matters discussed within should be declaratively confidential.

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Inspire

2023/02/##

Hospital Leaders and Trustees,

It appears I must cast a wider net…

Two weeks have now passed and still a six-pack of your Chiefs have failed to (order a subordinate to) do anything to Help Me (or even to reach out), despite how precarious they consider my situation to be.

As such, I am preparing another entry (below). Is this how My Story ends… With another cowardly duck and cover? Couldn't be bothered to (actually) help the poor cripple? Abandoned, again?

[You should be embarrassed, professionally.]
Could we please work on a better ending, together?
Along the lines of– ‘Somebody Finally Saved Me?’
[Better than– ‘Disabled, Abandoned, Endangered.’]

Be well.

----

["afterthought"] [Speculate] 2023/02/##

Hospital Chiefs,

Kindly, pull your heads out of your bureaucracies for just a moment and take a good look at what ‘your people’ are doing wrong… MedicalMaladventures.org [One chapter of my true story.]

Must my peril become more tangible/ tragic simply to be taken seriously, treated humanely?

How many other lost souls have been waved off, by your organizations, into Oblivion?

Try Harder. Please.

Lives depend upon it.

ps. This isn't a Tier One/ Two Support problem, they just do what they're told to. Blame Higher.

[One Week Later…]

And still, nobody has gotten back to me, anywhere in your organization(s).

Not your Fault/ Problem/ Concern (/Patient/ Department): Do Not Respond/ Act.

Thanks for Nothing.

[Later…]

Regarding the Welfare Check you called in on me… Problems:

1) That you dispatched the cops, rather than calling/ emailing/ texting (to check in on) me first, is troubling.

2) That a police officer pounded on my door, shining a light through my windows at ‘late-thirty’ last night, scaring the hell out of everyone here, is not okay. [Having then to explain why they came a-knocking…]

3) Worst of all, that it took (you) 30+ hours to perform a Welfare Check, when clearly you were concerned enough about my Safety (/your potential liability) to get ‘the law’ involved, is an Outright Failure.

4) If just one among your horde had bothered to give a damn anywhere along the way, it would never have come to this…

Try Harder to Get It Right, next time.

Too often, lives depend upon it.

[Fortunately, not this time.]

Shall you now resume ignoring me?

Or perhaps instead: Help Me?

Please. I insist.

[ps. Rhetorical: Were I to set myself on fire on your front lawn, would you bother to put me out or instead call/ wait for the fire department to do it (for you)?]

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2023/05/##

Hospital,

Something was Wrong, I contacted my PCP's nurse, described my troubling symptoms: it was suggested I proceed to the ER, posthaste. I arrived about an hour before the place started filling up.

The Waiting Room: More than a few people with wracking coughs were not wearing masks. Most patients were on their phones, which is not unusual, but several were without earbuds and the volumes way up. Rude, period. One poor woman was lying on the floor near the bathroom for at least four hours (last time I peed), occasionally sobbing, clearly disconcerting to all other patients (who had to step over/ around her). I overheard a mother threaten to beat her kid if she didn't sit quietly, in a room full of sick people (coughing/ moaning/ crying/ puking) with no distractions/ toys/ books/ daycare provided by you for the (healthy/ sick) kids stuck there. [No option offered/ allowed to wait in our cars instead, either.]

About two hours after arrival, I was summoned by the vampires. It was never explained what they were checking for, asked whether I would even agree to such privacy-invading searches. Nor was I provided with an IV tap, which would have been the appropriate time/ place for such a thing… [Though, props to the one who stuck me: did it better than any other vamp I have encountered; didn't miss, stab through the back of the vein, jiggle it around while (un)plugging stuff (five vials worth), like most others do. Neat, clean and quick.]

About thirty minutes later, I was moved out of the waiting room into the adjacent hallway. There were paper dividers between the chairs which provided zero privacy between us, and all passersby from/to the food court. It was eventually my turn to be asked personal/ private questions, most of which were nobody's business but mine and the doctor/ nurse/ whomever(?) asking. Questions about: weight, diet, medication(s), urination/ defecation (frequency/ consistency/ color/ odor), fornication (or precisely how long without), genitals, booze/ drugs, abuse, self-harm… I withheld (perhaps pertinent) info during the inquiry as I did not feel safe to speak, (having been unable not to overhear the ‘private concerns’ of those already interrogated,) instead indicating everything was fine/ normal, when some such matters were certainly not. [So much for your Patients' Bill of Rights… (By my reckoning you flubbed #1-4,10,15.) It would appear providing appropriate information/ privacy/ safety/ dignity wastes too much (of your) precious time.]*

A few hours after that, it was noticed I had not yet received my IV tap. A busy hallway, sitting on a regular (non-bloodletting) chair being not the ideal place to attempt such… It took two tries and multiple walking-aways to (again) procure all the requisite gear, rather than having a tray/ tacklebox with everything that might be needed (for mobile, multiple attempts)… The first failure resulting in repeated stab-throughs, significant seepage and bruising, and as there was no tray, the bloody bits being placed on the fabric seat beside me, which was wet-wiped after. [Prior to that, it was the prematurely unpackaged needle sitting upon that unsterile surface.]

At least four hours in, I was finally visited by the paperwork bureaucrat. Loudly verified was my personal information: full name, address, phone, email, (lacks-of:) insurance, employment; which everyone overheard. I was then asked the “Religious Preference” question, which, best I can tell, they didn't bother to record my nonstandard answer. [And why, after decades of being a patient of (the various practices affiliated with) your hospital, was this the first time anyone bothered to check?] A tablet was handed to me with no explanation of what I was signing, just a Sign Here box on the screen. I asked what I was agreeing to, can I read it? Seemingly unable to bring up the agreement, apparently having never been asked to allow a patient to read what they sign, first… I said forget it, signed your infernal contract. [Knowing if I didn't agree to whatever (legal, billing, bureaucratic bs) it stated that immediately would I be shown the door.]

Some point thereafter, I was led to my CT scan. Props to the person who did the leading (down several hallways packed with patients ‘parked’ alongside the way), having recognized the dour look on my face upon approach and applying the appropriate level of sarcasm to compliment my mood. [Give that aide a raise: the only one to make me smile.] In the CT room, I was unceremoniously told to drop my pants, but not remove them, with no concern/ regard for the four-to-five people looking at me just behind the slightly tinted glass, or the (still) wide-open hallway door. The scan went fine, quick, although thrice was explained it would feel like I peed my (polkadot) underpants upon injecting the radioactive dye… Yeah, I got it the first time. [Also, no concern/ regard given for any electronics/ jewelry/ food/ meds on my person or in my ankle-pants getting an unnecessary dose of radiation.] Then, it was back to the Waiting Hallway.

Later, I was provided my diagnosis, handed a pill, and informed that I had to inform my doctor's office of my diagnosis and to schedule a follow-up should I fail to improve. [Rather than you digitally informing my doctor, it was left to me such that should anything go wrong (after I left) it would be not your/ their fault for failure of follow-through…]

By the time I signed my discharge paperwork, was pointed vaguely in the direction of the exit, seven hours (and ~500 pages of my paperback) had passed since first I entered.

Shame on you.

*

Reply: “Our review has been determined that all medical care and treatment was appropriate and administered appropriately.”

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alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

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Concern

2023/06/##

Hospital Medical Group ("You"), VP,

To summarize the past two-or-so months, going backwards…

+ [The non-reply to this message (from this disabled still-your-patient) makes it four-in-a-row.]

– That would be a No Comment as to whether you passed along my concerns/ complaints to the VP specializing in Behavioral Health/Wellness.

– I expressed my frustrations; you again sent the police to my door, citing: nonspecific ‘concern.’ [Thereby henceforth should anything happen to me: Not Your Problem (/Fault), anymore.]

– Your P.C.Provider's Office informed me that I am no longer to be a patient of theirs (come the end of the month), knowing that means I am screwed out of any hope of getting better. [Nobody wants to take on new patients in their #0s with disabilities and no insurance…] I can rarely even get a proper referral processed anymore. [7 months later: no appointment.]

– I informed your Provider that I no longer Trust their/ my doctor, after getting nowhere pointing out to Doc, them, you the many reasons/ failures why. [Your Reply: “…Doc has made every effort…”]

– Nobody once mentioned PROVIDER2, a nearby affiliate/ partner supposed to handle mental/ emotional health issues that you/ yours were unwilling/ unable to discuss in writing: forbidden by your policies… I can only presume, as nobody would address/ acknowledge my repeated upbringing of such concerns. [Instead, playing liability dodge-ball/ hot-potato/ musical-chairs with my emotional health/ safety.]

– I questioned Doc's commitment/ compassion, to which most everything that followed was self-defensive, patient-faulting, system-blaming.

– Doc ignored my requests to see the content of the Referrals submitted: having failed to properly fill them out in the past, leading to months+ wasted, several times, causing me to more-than-once lose hope in ever getting Diagnoses.

– I repeatedly asked my Doc, Nurse, Provider if I should be concerned about my blood, having received several abnormal/ elevated readings across months-apart draws/ tests: No Response.

– Doc dodged content in those (first) few messages to which were poorly responded, having Ignored significant Concerns.

– There was that whole ER debacle. A matter which you consider resolved, appropriately.

– Your patient portal lacks proper two-way conversational capabilities, was clearly not designed to accommodate disabled patients.

Please acknowledge, if nothing else, receipt of this message.
Where do We go from here?

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2023/09/##

HOSPITAL.PROVIDER.3,

SYMPTOMS.HORRIBLE are often indicative of a (far worse) Problem. Rather than addressing the potential Cause(s) further, merely a referral (to treat Symptoms) was sent by you to PROVIDER.ALT.2: who cannot see me until Next Year.

Could you please find me someone, anywhere, who will see me somewhen far sooner: whom offer full disability-financial coverage? Perhaps also/ instead (in the meantime) procure for me a provider/ specialist to rule in/ out anything Worse I/ you might/ should possibly be Concerned to have afflicted me so (suddenly)?

How the request is worded matters, allow me to reiterate: "CONFIDENTIAL" would be helpful knowledge to include (this time), such that they shall understand the severity of my situation, and perhaps try harder to help.

I had already lived with whatever this ‘something new’ really is for two months awaiting my first appointment. [Having begun the same time I failed to seek help after nearly dropping dead, unexpectedly: concerned more with the cost it would inflict for an ambulance ride: which wound up being called for me anyway, a week later.] SITUATIONS.UNTENABLE: but that is not living, and certainly should not be my (uncertain) life for another four+ months awaiting yet another appointment (to address effect, not cause), as the days grow darker…

Merely passing me off as a Referral (into the void) has unfailingly yet again failed to help me. Instead: Be Helpful. Track down for me someone who Will Help, gives a damn, soon. Please. [And thereby shall I no longer be your patient/ problem: same as how I came to be unloaded upon you.]

I question how well I will handle yet another ‘chronic’ condition: undiagnosed, untreated, unassisted.*

Concernedly,
Your Patient

*

React: “Unfortunately, we cannot influence the wait time.”

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2023/10/##

Hospital Medical Group,

(another) Something (different) was Wrong. I went to Urgent Care. They got only some of The Problem(s) right: CONFIDENTIAL. The doctor failed to properly/ thoroughly EXAM.STANDARD, and missed something obvious. Further, nothing was done to address the AFFLICTION.CURABLE, which I made clear to mention, repeatedly.

Three days later, in (preventable) excruciating pain and delirium, I (dangerously) drove myself to the ER. Wait and wait for the SCAN.STANDARD. Then wait and wait and wait and wait… all the while I was silently tweaking out: your waiting room is disturbing/ distressing to the (not-just hypersensitive) senses. Four hours later, surrounded/ boxed-in by sickness/ suffering, I was (already) about to lose my shit, when someone bumped into my wheelchair, nearly dumping me out of it. I had a panic attack, alongside a rather public freak-out… Humiliated, I left.

Four hours later, a nurse called to check on the status of my IV tap: was it still in and who had taken it out? I was rude in answering the question and hung up. One minute later, another someone else called again to check on the status of your missing equipment, but not the status/ safety of your missing patient. Before I could get the chance to ask what my Diagnosis was, they had already hung up. (Rude.) Mind you, that means it was Eight Hours after the scan before anybody sought To Examine/ Inform The Patient, only to find them (and clearly more importantly: your potential-liability equipment) Missing.

Twenty-four hours later, nobody had bothered to call/ email to let me know what The Problems/ Results, for which I went to the ER, were… If a (disabled) patient cannot withstand the impatient/ inhospitable conditions of your hospital waiting room, (endlessly) awaiting an Answer, then they do not deserve one? [One week later: Nothing.]

Would it help make (/force) you (to be) a better provider if I were to drag you to court/ press to detail your embarrassing lack of professionalism experienced during this year (alone), over all your departments and affiliates I have encountered: persistently/ negligently having failed to help your (disabled) patient? Your every attempt to dodge liability/ responsibility has only accomplished digging the hole deeper and deeper. Rather than me throwing you in, perhaps instead you might give me a hand climbing out of my own nearly-dug grave?

I will be sure to name/ blame you in my obituary if you believe remaining silent/ avoidant/ unhelpful to be the optimal/ safest approach to (continue to mis)handle Your {undiagnosed, untreated, unassisted, unaccounted-for, uninformed, unresolved, uninsured} Patients.

Get your shit together, please.
Lives Depend Upon You.

*

Certified Letter: Patient Behavior Agreement: “…repeated violations of this agreement may result in dismissal from All Hospital Medical Group locations.”

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alpha.MedicalMaladventures.org

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Question

Policy

2024/03(-09)

Hospital Medical Group II (HMG2: North),

Before I give up (hope) again, please take a look at all the ways your policies/ procedures failed to help this person with disabilities. [Attached: 2+ months, 20 pages] Please, stop treating me/us as ‘potential liability’ to be avoided. Instead, consider (those like) me as a learning experience: worthy of a second chance (to not do so poorly), to try harder (to not abandon out in the cold) next time.

1) Failure to Provide Reasonable Modifications– Forcing people with disabilities to accommodate your too-many phone-only (next-level) departments/ contacts. [If we cannot use the phone (ourselves), there is nothing your employees can/ will do to escalate/ further our case/ cause, as demonstrated.]

2) Mental Health Issues are a No Comment Subject– Cannot even be acknowledged that they were brought up, nor even other places suggested that such matters could/ should be taken, instead… [Overcompensating for potential liability, at the expense of the ‘endangered,’ (repeatedly) asking for help…] Not Acceptable.

3) Failure to acknowledge message(s)-received– If your employees feel the need to upfront declare your spam filters make communication unreliable, time to adjust your settings. [That, or it is just a pre-excuse to non-reply when ‘forbidden’ (or uncertain how-to-respond) topics arise: like Emotional Welfare.] Providing non-responses to (repeated) ‘near-crisis’ declarations is (so very) far from encouraging, nor is it the responsible behavior (expected/ required of healthcare providers). [Even TV episodes now provide us ‘hotline’ contacts.]

4) Suspicious Messages– What was going on with those financial-assistance links I received (weeks later)? The (no-reply, wrong-domain, non-portal-delivered) emails with their blind-link-buttons (to not-your-website, domained-differently than their banner logo) provided no context, explanation, instead jumping straight into: "Upload your identity/ financial documents here." [I never got an answer as to whether they were legitimate: it was left to me to pick up the phone (and dial the number the emails provided).] *Klaxons Blaring*

5) Blind Hand-Offs to other (unnamed) people/ departments– Without an assigned point-person/ place, when the referral goes wrong, or goes unacknowledged, there is no way to follow-up with them. [A common tactic to shirk responsibility: divert ‘the problem’ out into the void, and then ask us to be patient.]

6) Patient Portal– Provides insufficient space for us to write. Had to shorten, and even break-into-parts, most of my messages to send them. [This was before I had to come in to your local office just to procure an email address, rather than giving up, long before (/without ever) being informed…]

7) “We do not have any available PCPs accepting new patients.” As my nearby provider is ‘unavailable,’ perhaps then there's some/ anyone (else) among your extensive network of healthcare professionals who can help me?

None of these issues were in any way the fault of those I interacted with.

They were dutifully adhering to Your Policies/ Procedures/ Limitations.

Bureaucracy is proving to be the Death of Compassion/ Progress (/us).

Please, Help Me.

<ADDENDUM01>
[Months Later…]
[Re: Financial Assistance]

DHHS,

For the Final Time: over-the-phone is incompatible with my disabilities.

This was acknowledged by your Bosses, last year. Talk to REG.ADMIN and/or COMMISSIONER.

Further, "Patient Advocacy Co." is my Authorized Representative. Yet still, here you are, engaging directly with me, instead. [Disrespecting my disabilities, registered accommodations, legal rights, again.]

Hand my case over to the bosses before someone gets the whole department in trouble…

----

Patient Advocacy (sub)Co.,

Sorry to waste your time by taking a stand, fighting against bureaucratic stupidity/ inequity, directly confronting (those who erect/ accept) the obstacles to efficiency/ disability, proposing alternative pathways (around their carefully/ callously constructed gambit of disqualifiers).

I thought the point here was Advocacy. My mistake.

I'm still not answering the phone…

</ADDENDUM01>

*

Free (in-network) Healthcare

<ADDENDUM02>
[Re: Failed Accommodations]

HMG2 Patient Relations,

[To summarize my 75-page transcript/ complaint letter, as requested…]

Isn't it frustrating when you do not understand what another person wants/ means? When you are confused by the way/ why they do what they do? When what you need from them they are unable/ unwilling to provide? (Or simply avoid the topic/ request/ problem altogether?) When, to get what you want/ need, you have to instead do it their way, being unfamiliar/ uncomfortable/ incomprehensible? (Or downright counter to your (dis)abilities/ process?) When there are no shortcuts, when there is no cheat-sheet, when what is asked/ expected of you is unclear? When there is an overwhelming amount of data, in a lingo/ style/ process you barely comprehend, you must navigate (unaided)? When you must-have followed their path of A leads to B leads to C leads to D, when what you want/need is just D? (When repeated requests for ‘Skip to D’ are denied, wasting (y)our/ their time?)

Suggestion: Have two(+) people at HMG2 (from different departments/ levels: please include a psychologist) follow my journey (of the past dozen years), take notes, and then compare/ contrast their takeaways from taking the long way around, same as I had to. How different were their assumptions/ conclusions from reading the (compounding) frustrations of a person with (communication) disabilities, over the course of months (/years)? Start with: How many times did I have to repeat myself, on how many topics, that only eventually/ never got any ‘acceptable’ answers/ remedy/ response? How discouraging that all must be, again and again and again, when your life/ health/ future depends upon it?

</ADDENDUM02>

*

No Response

<ADDENDUM03>
[Elsewhere, Later…]

PCP, HMG2.2,

Weeks having passed, patient repeatedly requesting Psychological Consultation: ignore, avoid, evade, miscommunication, bumble, fumble, stumble, excommunication, delay, delay, delay, Request Denied.

Your Emotional Welfare Support System is (dangerously) deficient in its (failures of) design/ deployment.

How does HMG2 feel about how this has all been (mis)handled by your facility, under their letterhead?

ps. Doc, I could really use an Advocate right about now, rather than yet another rejection…

</ADDENDUM03>

*

Discharged From Care; No Trespass Order Issued

<ADDENDUM04>
[Invariably…]

Most of the Above,

Your Refusal(s) to Accept/ Escalate Disability Concerns (as valid) always the Final Insult.

Your Failure(s) to Accommodate topping the list of Complaints.

Anyone able/ care to do ‘the right thing’ here?

Take Me To Your (HMG2) Leader(ship).

This is a Demand for Parley.

“Silent,” Esquire
~ Justice of the Peace

</ADDENDUM04>

*

No Response; Free Healthcare Disapparated

<ADDENDUM05>
[Re: Potential Cause(s)?]

TOWN,

Thrice asked. Thrice ignored?

Would you rather I take this matter up with NEWSPAPER: such to follow-up on their previous article, to show how the Town has since ignored/ dodged the problem, to the detriment of your (poorer) citizenry? The near-to-me Town Dump is a Registered Contaminated Site, for which I am in the projected ‘seepage’ pathway. Their article is how I (eventually) became informed, rather than by you.

Had I been informed by you (long ago) that there is a problem, perhaps I wouldn't have been sick for quite so long. As explained, the standard free/ basic water/ medical tests do not look for those particular contaminants that may well be affecting me and my neighborhood's ground/ drinking water. Again, I hereby request of you to conduct the requisite tests, I cannot afford. This is a Public Health Issue (for which You Are Responsible).

Burying your head in the (contaminated) sand will never remedy ‘the problem.’

Please, Help Us.

ps. Happy Independence Day.

</ADDENDUM05>

*

Free Standard Water Test

<ADDENDUM06>
[Re: Side Note…]

Town Administrator, Tax Collector,

Concerning (again) your Assessment Values, without having set foot upon my (decrepit) land, being determined to more-than-triple my Property Taxes… Please, do not just (again) dismiss my request for a Review, without comment. That magnitude of a tax-hike could/ would cost me My Home…

</ADDENDUM06>

*

No Response

<ADDENDUM07>
[Re: Knock Four Times (Part 2)]

Select Board,

Please acknowledge receipt of my messages.

Or is ignore/avoid/evade how this whole town runs (away)?

A sick/poor/disabled neighbor again requesting your assistance.

Is this how/where/why my ‘disability quest’ ends?

My home/health/future are in your hands…

Have Mercy?

ps. Happy Labor Day.

</ADDENDUM07>

<ADDENDUM08>
[Re: Part 4]

Select Board,

Being ‘interrogated’ by a quorum (of politicians, live online) would be impossible for me to handle, therefore I must politely refuse your offer to palaver (publicly). I instead request Accommodations be considered: Privacy being important to me.

If after everything I have written (these past few months) it remains “unclear” to you what I want/ need/ ask: time (for you) to call in a disability specialist/ advocate, as it would appear I am incapable of expressing myself clearly enough to be Understood (by the honorable ‘Village Elders’). Tried though I have…

Simply stated: I Seek the Help of My Village.

[Having already failed everywhere else.]

Context: alpha.InspirationalAgony.pdf

[Hint: it's not about the website(s).]

Please Advise.

</ADDENDUM08>

*

No Response

<ADDENDUM09>

Village Leaders,

Yes, that would be the typical reaction to reading (/discovering your part in) My Disability Quest: turn out the lights, pretend you're not home, hope/ pray I'll go away, tell no one. That hurts, unfailingly.

How many times have you had to beg for help? How often do you get turned down/ away, ignored, avoided, evaded? Doors endlessly slammed in your face? Try barely surviving that way for a dozen years.

Someone(s) here in Our Village can/ will Help Me.

Clearly, you won't take any Responsibility.

Please, find me those who can/ will Care.

I beg you.

</ADDENDUM09>

*

“We cannot take any further action without knowing what exactly you're requesting.”

<THOTS>**

– This is the way the world ends… smothered by bureaucracy (in our sleep, for the insurance/ tax money).

– Leadership finally found the cure for having to care: remaining unreachable.

– (death by) Neglect is cheap(er), giving a shit costs.

– Does not compute = does not pass (along).

</THOTS>

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Faith

2024/09-11

Local Churches, Faithful,

I have lived in TOWN/ VILLAGE most of my life, my daughter for her entirety [whom I brought to your Mommy&Me playgroup, back in the day. She has volunteered for your Homeless Charity, a few times]. I respect your Faith. I believe in the Teachings of NAME, alongside others.

I have been struggling with Disability for a dozen years now (/for longer than I can remember). The futility of fighting alone (in silence) has taken its toll. Forefront among other concerns: I seek an advocate who can ‘speak’ for me(/us).

I figure, if anyone can better converse with Authority, it would be the ‘Better Angels’ just down the road… Please read through the attached [25+page] confidential transcript of my latest attempts/ failures to Communicate. Then please send me any initial thoughts, questions, concerns. Then let's meet, palaver (one-to-one, preferably).

[If you know anyone who might enjoy (disliking) a mystery/ puzzle/ tragedy, and/or could do something productive/ educational with my (failure of) ‘Inspirational Agony’: pass only that along. Appreciated.]

I humbly(/clumsily) request your help.
Be well.

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Advocacy

2024/10/##

State/Federal(-funded/ run, 3x:*) Disability Advocacy Groups,

I am uncomfortable being more specific (with a gatekeeper) about my disabilities than I already was ‘in general’ (over the course of 150+ pages, covering multiple town/ state/ federal, gov/ med/ health/ enviro agency transcripts, I have provided you) so far. If nothing in any of all that has merited your ‘interest,’ then nothing else I could say would convince you otherwise… Legalities/ lawsuits aren't the only way to help (/hurt) people with disabilities.

Consider:

• Are you (presently) confused?

• Having trouble understanding me?

• Did I fail to properly fill out your form(s)?

• ‘Does Not Compute’ equate any of my answers?

• ‘D) None of the Above’ auto-disqualified me, again?

• Did I somehow trigger a ‘potential liability’ (red) flag?

• Are you (now) unsure how and thereby unable to proceed?

• For any of the above/ other/ undeclared reasons?

• And therefore cannot (ever) help me?

• Offering me the door, instead?

Be better than (y)our opposition.

Being unlike them is how to defeat them.

Please, point me in the direction of (/preferably, provide a direct introduction to) those who Can/ Will Help Me, without (first) requiring actionable litigious concerns, whether they be in your organization/ network or elsewhere. [You aren't the only one who works here, right?]

Websites Quotes:

[Abbreviated: “protection and advocacy; authorized by federal/ state statute; pursue other appropriate remedies; proud partners with; eliminate the barriers; integrated lives; free from abuse, neglect, discrimination; ensuring your rights; with dignity, respect; accessible healthcare; improving mental health services…”] Look to your own Barriers, and Mission/ Vision Statements. Try Harder. Try Again.

ps. I again asked the Town for the ACRONYM Test Kit (having now thrice offered/ failed to deliver, since July). There has been no response. Happy Halloween.

*

1) Search Links 2) “Our office cannot assist you.” 3) No Response

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Question

Scholars

2024/11-2025/01

State University Disability-Studies Faculty/ Staff,

I have Communication Disabilities (alongside others). I do not know what to do with my ‘field notes’ other than share with your scholarly collective, hoping you can do something constructive, meaningful with my pain, failures. I have already knocked on every other disability/ support door, nobody has helped. As demonstrated…

Attachment0: [Briefly, pages: 19-20, 39-40, 42, 52, 61-63, 86-89, 91-95.] Details a dozen+ years of my struggle to Survive Disability, while making zero forward progress. The format is irregular. The intention is unclear. That is just how it all came together: oddly, like me.

Attachment1: Transcripts from the last six months of my trying/ failing to get help from half a dozen Town/ State Government entities… [Hint: it is about ignore/ avoid/ evade Responsibility for the sick/ poor/ disabled.] Wherein desperation becomes hopelessness. Must my ‘Disability Quest’ end in tragedy before anyone cares?

Kindly, take the time, don't just disregard me as (yet another) “Not My Problem” and move on. If not you, specifically, whom among you at Your Institution might be able to Help Me(/Us)?

ps. Happy Thanksgiving.

[A Month Later…]
Despondent Faculty,

Stated Mission: “Accelerating disability inclusion through education, research, and collaboration.”

What I got was ninety-percent ignored first round, eighty the second; only two among you showed true care/ concern/ heart: with whom were then forbade further contact; ending with abject Rejection upon objecting to my relegated liaison's incompatibility of spirit/ respect (/specialty, undeclared: law enforcement). [What am I supposed to make of that?]

Yes, some resources were linked to, but covering only a fraction of the concerns plaguing this sick/ poor/ disabled person with a decade+ of “lived disability experience” (of being misdirected to all the unhelpful/ wrong places) already at the end of their rope, dangling above the Abyss.

What is the point of what you do here if so easily you ‘write off’ those who most need your help? [Fling some links at them: pat yourself on the back?] That is precisely how (most) everyone else treats us: as a burden/ liability to be rid of, as quickly/ easily/ safely as possible, without undertaking any Responsibility. Pull your heads out of your books/ articles/ disciplines and look around/up…

An actual, non-theoretical, disenfranchised, desperate, Disabled Neighbor is ‘losing grip’ right in front of you, (concerns being of life/ death: not merely academic) asking of you for the Third Time to Help(/Save) Me(/Us). What is Your Response?

Look to your own Mission, Vision, Values Statements & Strategic Plan– “We believe in: diversity and the value of people's differences… collaborative problem solving… improving systems to address inequalities… positive engagement… inclusion and belonging… innovative and interdisciplinary research…” [I have heard all that (rhetoric) before.]

Prove It, Scholars.

ps. Happy Holidays.
[BCC: Sister, Parent Institutions]

[A Week Later…]
All of the Above,

Careful what You(r robots) Promise… auto-replies received–
“I will return your message when I return.” “I will reply to correspondence upon my return.” “I will gladly respond to all email and messages upon my return after the new year.” “…and will respond to all messages at that time.” “…we will get back to you as soon as feasible.” “I look forward to responding to your message after I return to work.” […]

Eagerly do I await Your ‘Learned’ Response, all.

[No Response…]
Department Boss,

Thank you for demonstrating the ‘potential liability’ institutional-approach to dismissing the disabled. This essentially having become the default procedure (everywhere) these days– 1) Disengage, STFU [2) Await “threatening” language/ behavior 3) Offload Upon Police] 4) Attorneys Appeased: Case Closed 5) Nothing Helpful for/to those who sought it.

I came in peace, hope.

And was left in silence.

How'd you come across?*

New Year, New Project/Quest?

There's really nothing left to (dis)prove
from (all-the-)way down here, alone.

Palaver, Collaborate, please?

ps. *Note: Provided an array of (unfamiliar) options and/or forced to fill-in-their-own-blanks and many will presume (/embody) the worst (in others). [What troubles/ dangers have you put upon this poor protagonist?]

<DRAFT>**
Scholarly Hierarchy ("You"),

What I would really like to see is for your department(s) to put their heads together to figure out how to Save A Disabled Neighbor From Purgatory. Start with helping one desperate soul (a year/ season/ month). [Consider this the (unpublished) ‘alpha’ test-case…]

Proposed Assignment: <ADDENDUM02> (substitute your own acronyms)– Single, then double, then group-thinks on what they saw as ‘the problems’ (getting in the way of ‘getting on’) plaguing those like me, and what could possibly be done about (any of) it, immediately, and long-term. [Or has everything I have been through (/documented) all been useful for nothing?]

Through your research, you have generated (close-)contacts everywhere– Office(r)s of: politicians, attorneys, nonprofits, townships, welfare, healthcare, advocacy, (faiths?) organizations, corporations, libraries, universities. [Or do they ignore your ‘calls’ too?]

Your Parent ‘EDU1’ has entire other Departments: engineering, environmental, financial, sciences, medical, mental, (dental?) legal, digital… full of smart/ caring/ kind people working with/among them, too… affiliate/ associate trade-schools; work-studies, internships, grants, student-labor; Alumni (everywhere, at all levels, around the state/ nation/ world). [Insert loyalty/ pride/ honor (/fraternity/sorority) something-or-other here.]

Does not EDU1 support/ fund employee endeavors at embettering the future (for not just a select few)? [Or are you merely the ‘trophy-wife’ department to distract from the business-side of it all?] Wouldn't they welcome a (PR positive) way to show how smart/ much they care (about more than just themselves), utilizing what's readily available [undertaken by their own, to get shit done, to save lives, when nobody else would]?

All of the above being merely a part of the University System of “Live Free Or Die.” Perhaps you (/we) could be the ones to show everyone/ where else how to properly fix ‘what others broke’ finally? Lead By Example. [Start small– Save One Person: then you'll know.]

Mind you, I have already tried my hand at all of ‘the problems’ alone, and it got me nowhere, yet eventually led me here. So, this won't be just another exercise in producing some (more) contacts/ links for those you seek to help. Many like me require an Advocate (to intro/ filter/ speak/ fight for us): a True Representative that has (thus far, for me) proven deficient/ unavailable everywhere else. [I challenge you to do/ find/ build better.]

I had presented to you the abridged (175+page) version of My Disabled Decade. [Anyone require the latest rendition?] It contained everything your website claims that you seek (to spark learned discourse). I had hoped (foolishly, more of) you would discuss amongst yourselves, and then get back to me. Only the two among you started to, before being ordered to Disengage. [Having finally found someone willing to write me back, who Understood and Cared… Can you possibly comprehend how that feels, after all this time?]

By persisting with Do Not Engage: thereby has been countermanded Your Mission– Preventing those among you who might like to help/ collaborate from doing so, and leaving everybody looking professionally heartless. [Having imperiously waved your sceptre, all must (continue to) bow before your impetuous command.] Reconsider, Department Boss?

[Kindly, don't leave me hanging here (too long): feeling nothing but abject failure/ rejection.]

ps. Happy Birthday, Me?
</DRAFT>

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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life, disabled.

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Authority

Civility

2024/10-12

State Office(r)s of: DHHS, Ombudsman, Citizen Services, Governor,

[Months Later…]
Hereby are you refusing to Parley, answer reasonable questions
put forth to you by/under the authority of this Justice of the Peace,
concerning Disability & Civil Rights?

“Silent,” Esquire
Systems Troubleshooter
Creative/Disability Consultant
Disenfranchised Citizen?

ps. Happy Friday Thirteenth.
[BCC: Scholars]

[No Response…]
Welfare Bosses, Scholars,

Has this become your default response when confronted (by disabilities): duck and cower?

The Reputation of Your Institution has been Righteously Challenged: offer you no defense?

Not one (else) among you has the courage to stand up for what you (claim to) speak for?

Are you here solely to document (/scavenge) the downfall of the disfortunate?

[Just step-over that desperate not-my-problem on your doorstep?]

Why bother doing what you do if (when presented the opportunity to make a difference)
you doubt your ability/ authority to accomplish anything, so instead say/do nothing?

ps. Happy New (Work-)Year. What is Your Plan to do with/about it?
[‘Others’s being already underway…]

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[v0.80a]

alpha.SmartFhone.org

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Question

Feedback

2025/03-06,08,09,10

BRAND, PROGRAM,

Thrice Submitted. Thrice Evaded?
[Cannot take/give any feedback of your own?]

1) Purpose– Having ‘rounded the bases’ twice now, I am hoping someone here might be willing to clue me in to how I have been doing? Going this long (160 reviews: taking nearly a month off around the middle there to recuperate, reprioritize) without any feedback is discouraging… Am I on the right/ wrong track? Am I focusing on the wrong/ right aspects? Am I living up to your program/ review standards? Please, just a hint? [If I am not ‘good enough’ for PROGRAM TIER2 I would appreciate being let down now, rather than awaiting another few months (just to be disappointed/discharged later)…] What I really need (but cannot afford) and would happily review (preferably without touchscreen/ wifi/ BT/ AI) would be: adjustable lumbar-support office chair, reclining sofa, eco refrigerator/ freezer, dishwasher, wall-mount air conditioner, ride-on lawnmower, whole-home water filtration, emergency generator, car… How much of (any of) that can be found in TIER2? [Or am I expecting, hoping for far too much from what have I been blindly working/ stumbling towards here, again?]

2) Program Problem– Your PROGRAM website interface is still not mobile-friendly (especially in portrait view): somehow, it has gotten worse: screenshots attached. A case could readily be made for Accessibility Failure. Just letting you know, because the more you know… Which, to be clear: I bring this up to avoid (not cause) problems, and to make the program better. [As presently PROGRAM (-mobile) does present itself rather (a)pathetically.]

3) Recommended For You– Clearly, your AI doesn't ‘get’ me. Kindly, work harder towards understanding what we do like/ need, to then offer to us. Have I not yet provided sufficient {coherent, program} data upon which to build a preferences profile? [Hint: not party-favors, zip-ties and lingerie… but thanks for the offer.]

4) Account Status: Reviews with Media– All of my cameras are kept taped-over (and microphones blocked). Are you going to count my lack/ distrust of shutterbuggery against me? It would appear that is now a metric you use in determining if we advance to TIER2..? I only take pictures when there's something worth showing/ sharing: apparently, 15% of the time: which you flagged in Red. [It has been a decade since last I shot a video… so, don’t hold your breath on that one.]

5) Search– Not so easy to find a specific product to (update our) Review through your PROGRAM interface… Have to scroll and scroll and guess at which (on mobile: based solely upon the two or three words of each title we can read: as no pictures presented there of the) product we seek. Request: Add a Search function for the Reviews (completed and awaiting) and Orders tabs, please. Furthermore, Search within the PROGRAM Items tab (for available stuff) is still terrible, too: input "(wo)mens" and then "(wo)men's" (which then converts to "(wo)men&#39;s" (not to be confused with "(wo)men’s" which converts to "(wo)men&amp;rsquo;s") let alone forgetting the singular or plural possessive forms) which present an entirely different set of products (it fails to find). [Such ‘basic glitches’ should long ago have been excised from your basecode, PROGRAM. What version are you up to, now? Or is this all part of ‘the test?’]

6) Regarding Order ###– I must admit that I intentionally got it for another, being a violation of your rules… The basement in my child's other home flooded, so I selected this sump-pump to help them (not me) out. The best I could do for a review would be to stick it in a ten-gallon bucket and time how long it takes to empty, push some buttons, fiddle with attachments, comment on the sounds it makes… not an inspired review: as I did not actually need/ use this product myself. Now, I could have filed that under ‘Cannot Review’ and thereby gotten it wiped from my record: [Or do you flag those as reviewed? How many times can we get away with that? My Completed Review numbers differ, depending upon which screen/ tab you consult: Reviewed (which doesn't show how-many in mobile-view), or Account Status which has inflated/] improved my overall score/ ranking: which would be untrue, undeserved. Instead, I fess up to the fact that I felt the need to assist ‘underwater’ others: so I did, because I could… for whatever that's worth to you (against me)?

7) Publicity– I understand the first/ second rule of PROGRAM is: You Do Not Talk About PROGRAM. But, howzabout in ‘the abstract’ (wherein your actual names would not be used): would this here be acceptable to post to the internet..? [Hereby again politely am I asking of BRAND/ PROGRAM to Please Help Me with the subject matter below (having gone unaddressed, repeatedly: months ago)…]

--

BRAND, PROGRAM,

Thank you for the distractions of the past month-or-so: having proven unexpectedly therapeutic/ cathartic (/helpful?)… as much as I do love (compulsively?) collecting/ fiddling/ (re)gifted free doodads, knickknacks, thingamabobs and doohickeys in return for writing enTrusted (/obsessive?) Reviews (/overshares?) detailing the how/ why said-stuff makes me feel (poorly, mostly), alongside fueling a Sense of Purpose in finding/ faulting Somethings (new/ different/ unfamiliar) Else… whereupon I might hope next to direct similar effort/ energy towards would be reviewing (good) Food, perchance? Does not any affiliate/ associate/ marketplace of/ astride/ under yours deliver (healthy, fresh, frozen's cool, too) balanced-meal-kits unto my neck of the (over-the-river/ tracks) woods (via any of the three+ carriers having recently demonstrated overnight-delivery capability here)? A mere three dinners a week for me and mine (average attendance, in return for reviews) would be graciously appreciated… granted, my/ our skills/ grammar being not good (there, either): but we are willing to give it a try, work towards collective-improvement/ understanding, if only you might be, too? I'm really rather hungry, please? [Cardboard Sign:] Will Review (further) For Food

--

8) Unresolved Issues– I have submitted a (disconcerting?) number of concerns to BRAND: DEPT1, DEPT2 and DEPT3 since I was invited to join PROGRAM (and for long since before then, and to other departments, as well). Please look into my messages (from this and my other email addresses): see how things were (mis)handled, figure out how to do better… Far too many concerns/ issues were abandoned/ evaded/ ignored by your support associates simply because, according to their matrix: "does not compute = divert/ delete." [Proving further discouraging (and far too common a response) to those with communication disabilities.]

Support Associate (who receives this message),
These matters are for your Leadership: Please Escalate to them, being what you can (actually/ only) do to help out here. Thank you.

Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire

ps. 9) Public Profiles– Could you show all of our PROGRAM Reviews here, rather than merely the latest twenty, with options to sort/ search them, please? [Or would you rather (y)our ‘quest’ to remain in the dark?]

[No Response. Two Months Later…]
BRAND, PROGRAM,

Having ‘rounded the bases’ thrice now (taking my time, this time): here are some more of my thoughts (note: one-hour first-draft)…

1) Editing Reviews– Still terrible, not just on mobile. Hard to find specific items to Edit. Could you please give us Search, or drop-downs for Category/ Month? I wasted so much time just scrolling Next/ Previous (whereby I get confused/ distracted which way I was going for/backwards through time/ products, far too easily) without Page Numbers while attempting/ adding/ missing Updates to previous products I still use or simply haven't yet found the need to put away while finding something further to say about it, finally. [I'm sure this is in your records, somewhere today (and the other day): watch as I wander aimlessly trying to find whatever it was(n't) I was looking for.]

There is an issue where if you try to Update a Review again while it is still pending (original approval, which can take days) where it then does not show your latest/ further/ any updates having been made since the first submission (whence clicked upon again to Edit), only displaying how originally it was posted: causing confusion/ omissions, not knowing what version will finally get through while frantically attempting to amend your review before it ‘first’ gets approved (by AI). [Not sure when I did that, a few times though, yet not recently, but it should be in your dataset somewhere: search ‘repetitive resubmits’ per review.]

2) PROGRAM Mobile– Thanks for making some needed changes/ improvements, (you're welcome, btw,) but it is still not great for browsing… Where did all the Categories go? As such, all we can see/ browse now is Everything (everywhere). [Which admittedly, that part has gotten better: I was even able to browse on the four-inch screen of my actual telephone.] Perhaps a simple drop-down could bring that back to us? Further, there's no Page Indicator, nor how many Products are available/ left/ done: this applies to Additional Items, Reviews (awaited/ completed), Orders… I require some of these numbers to better be able to stumble my way around here (in the mobile/ dark), please. [Also proves helpful for setting/ achieving personal milestones.] BRAND, keep working on Your PROGRAM Mobile Interface: it is just starting to get nearly ‘good’ (enough)…

Though, you do still have that issue where ampersand-codes are in the product-titles while browsing (but not on the actual product-pages): making it further harder to know, without clicking on it, what (terrific/ terrible) product that might be. [Losing us those precious few seconds before clicking Request (on the previous page) before someone else here (panning for ‘gold’) snags that last one right out from under us, yet again.]

3) Quitting SERVICE– I was assured product-delivery would not take longer upon quitting SERVICE (being a separate, unrelated entity from PROGRAM). However, it does feel like delivery has slowed down, but then again so have my number of orders (for a fair number of reasons): finding it far preferential to drive to the Post Office three days a week (providing them some additional income, they desperately need) and bring home an armful of swag (for the neighbors to witness): being less stressful, overall, to random strangers dropping by my front/ wrong door at all hours of the (every) day/ night/ morning (leaving packages with ‘explodey’ warning-labels upon them: exposed to the elements). Is stuff taking longer to be delivered, now? [As I feel no need to pay for SERVICE: being back again to how little I can afford to actually buy anymore…]

However, I do feel the need to Protest about all the "Danger/ Warning: SERVICE Failure Imminent/ Happened/ Recover" banners and buttons and entire screens that I have had to navigate/ swipe/ scroll/ click my way through/ around/ past on (damned-near) Every Single BRAND Screen since before/ after I quit your ‘Cult of SERVICE.’ Please, back-off about this… [Insert here reader's ‘appropriate’ obsessive/ compulsive/ possessive/ pathological imagery invoked: to better produce the intended metaphor than whatever this writer's proposed allegory instead wouldn't have (or rather, likely offended).] Where might I find the SERVICE ‘Restraining Order’ option/ button? If anything, your incessant pleading/ needing (/harassing?) has encouraged me to come around here even less, lately… Trouble is, all your "Join us, Silent" ‘gentle persuasions’ are getting in my way while here (now, too) just for PROGRAM: where I am trying to be/ prove helpful, productive (receiving nothing but ‘negative’ feedback in return). [Do not force me to pepper-spray you, BRAND SERVICE. It is over between us.]

4) Reviews with Media– Understand: prior to being asked to join PROGRAM, I averaged about one picture-taken per month. [Shaky hands make for lousy shutterbuggery.] I have tried to make a better effort to show more of what I am talking/ reviewing about (whenever it might otherwise be unclear, indescribable without photographic evidence,) since you added this Metric to our PROGRAM Status Quo(ta)s. If numbers are your ‘thing’ here: please acknowledge that I have submitted nearly half as many pictures to you as products have been reviewed (in the past five months: 240)… Being far better than your calculated 23% black-flagged overall picture-taking average.

I suppose what I am asking/ hoping for here is any leniency you might be willing/ able to grant me in whatever weight ‘Photographs-Required’ (now) carry toward the odds of my achieving BRAND PROGRAM TIER2? [Keeping in mind that I tried to be accommodating here…]

Be well.
Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire
Systems Troubleshooter

ps. I am sure I've forgotten other suggestions/ nuisances/ issues: these being the few that seem to have leapt to mind, in this moment. [My hands hurt: time to put the digital down for the day, find somewhere else/ better to focus my intentions.]

pps. 5) Again I ask kindly if you could please post all of my reviews (in one public-link place): for posterity's sake, if nothing less?

*

React: “We acknowledge your request and have forwarded it to the correct team internally.”

[No Follow-Up Response. Elsewhere, Rejected(?) Review:]
Title: …merely awaiting my food-stamps…

This product arrived in the middle of the month, which means there's nothing (as intended/ designed) I can do with it until next month, when my SSDI/EBT money comes in.

In the meantime…

Side-Note– I haven't been in a (realistic) position to afford not-from-concentrate ‘orange’ (including most other fruits) for more than a year now: I drink my fruits and vegetables (to stave off suffering malnutrition, again): I have lost twenty-five pounds since joining PROGRAM (five months ago*): my food-budget is factored upon ‘greatest odds of survivability’ (wherein fresh/ quality/ organic/ healthy = not-an-option).

Side-Note 2– Were I to buy a bagful of oranges: thereby would be blown my entire monthly fruit(-juice) budget… every day, I take a swig (only the one, of mixed-varietal juices) trying to meet my minimum-dose ‘necessity’: which just barely gets me through another month (as merely a bag of oranges wouldn't: as just-so-happened with the bananas and strawberries I bought solely to review a blender, previously: having proven detrimental to my overall fruit-and-veggie budget/ health, that month: striving for ‘something better’)… same situation for most vegetables: being generally cheaper (with longer-lasting shelf-life: both before- and after-bought/ opened) in liquid-form… certain always to buy only ‘100% (from-concentrate-) Juice’ options, naturally.

*Side-Note 3– There's plenty of new/ revised food(stuff)s being produced out there, clamoring for feedback: perhaps even willing to give away (to needy/ wordy folks) a few bags/ boxes/ cans in return… [BRAND, happen to know anyone? Every day here on PROGRAM there's a mountain of free stuff, ours for the taking in return for but an ‘honest’ review: yet nary a morsel of (human) food to be found (unless willing to count supplements, remedies, relievers)…] Please, feed me/us? [Through here's as good a platform as any to generate/ distribute feedback/ goodwill.]

Getting back to the purpose/ point here…

This peeler is fun to fiddle-flip between your fingers. Has excellent grip with all the ridges along its (perfect hand-)length. Works most excellently as a toothpick, fingernail-cleaner, what with the hook-ends. The slight-angled (metal-tasting) ‘blade’ works well as a tongue-scraper, as it is not sharp but ‘edged’: which I do suspect shall be perfect for peeling/ skinning… I can almost taste/ smell/ feel those fresh oranges, though not quite yet. […focus upon something else: For Queen and Country: yeah, that'll have to do…]

Next Month…

…will apprise when(/if?) I get (t)here…

*

rejected, removed as ‘unable to review’

[Subject: passing thoughts (before I forget)…]
BRAND, PROGRAM,

Glad to be PROGRAM TIER2 now, but…

No congrats email, just a browser pop-up when next we login? No Commemorative Gold Achievement Trophy? Not so much as a (pseudo)personalized ‘attaboy’..? Way to make us feel (not) special, PROGRAM.

I do not suppose any humans have read all of my PROGRAM reviews? Mostly Algorithms, unless we trigger a keyword flag..? Too bad, I was really hoping someone would/ could follow my ‘quest’ (as a sick/ poor/ disabled reviewer) all the way through PROGRAM TIER1, chronologically.

I thought I would be making a difference here.* But all this turned out to be was a measure of ‘appease the AI’: meet the (bare-)minimum metrics, insert the correct keywords (avoid the ‘bad’ ones) and you get to keep playing the game of: "who wants free** stuff?" Fun, for sure, for a while, but in the end: soulfully meaningless. There's so much better-good BRAND/ PROGRAM could be doing here with all this underutilized potential (pointed elsewhere).

But for now, regarding TIER2 (possible perks?)…

1) Request, Status– How many times have (how many of) our reviews been flagged as (un)Helpful? And which one(s) scored the most/ worst? All in one place, please. Further consider, Total (/average/ monthly/ categorical/ neighborly?) Word-Count(s)… having additional numbers like these can help to motivate/ compare/ contrast. [I found it amusing to find out that my final-count (which sadly I had to count myself, for you) for my six-month-evaluation approximated the wordages of 1984 or A Clockwork Orange.]

2) Request, far-fetched– A Product Category of just TIER2 Items (accessible on Mobile), such to make it easier to find the type of products we have been working towards. [Or do you prefer we continue to painstakingly ‘pan for gold,’ buried amongst all the rest? Cannot go making it too easy for us to find what we seek/ earned, right?]

3) Request– Filters for "Additional Items": mostly of the ‘out’ variety… I like scrolling through the miscellany of it all, never knowing what I might find, or what might tickle me (depending upon my mood), but mostly what is found here are things I have no interest in: auto/ appliance/ device parts/ covers/ adapters/ chargers, BRAND/ BRAND-anything, party favors, affirmationals, child/ gender clothes/ costumes… it would save me significant time (-wasted scrolling) if I could filter-out specific categories from "show me everything." [Being the default/ only view on PROGRAM Mobile, still.]

4) Request, far-fetched– The ability to select a range/ filter of specific product-specs for you to hold-aside for us to Request/ Refuse. Namely, when a ‘Similar To’ product comes up, keep one near-matching item in ‘reserve’ until we have a chance to consider/ dismiss it. [Rather than us hunting for it, constantly, always missing.] The point being…

I could really use: ergonomic (lumbar/ headrest/ arms-adjustable) office chair, manual/ powerless full-reclining three-seater (ergo/ lumbar) sofa, portable whole-home generator, whole-home water filtration, 800(+) sq.ft. wall-mount A/C dehumidifier (+heater?), 20(ish) cu.ft. (analog) refrigerator/ freezer, 24-inch dishwasher… [How many of which have ever passed-through PROGRAM TIER2?] Being merely but a few of the ‘bigger’ things I need yet cannot afford (to replace): some sample-products of which I added to my ‘needs’ Save-List: such to present an idea of ‘Similar To’ what I seek (/worked/ hoped to find here).

5) Request, again– A public permalink to all our PROGRAM TIER1 (/TIER2) Reviews. Mine representing a significant ‘labor of love’ I worked long/ hard upon (no other human likely shall read all the way through), which I would like to be able to link to in my ‘resume.’ Hopefully, to finally help find me a job I can do. [These past six months demonstrating the closest thing to steady-work I have (been able) to show for myself (in the past decade)… Might BRAND (PRODUCTs) be seeking paid product/ program (/food) testers/ reviewers?]

Be well.
Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire
Systems/Product Troubleshooter

ps. *Yeah, sure, I might have helped convince another outta/ into buying a good/ bad product here/ there: but what is that really worth in the (grand-)scheme of things? **Consider: How much will the IRS demand I now pay them for all my ‘unpaid’ effort/ labor (for you) here? [pps. first draft.]

[No Response…]
[Subject: Take Me To Your Leadership]
AI Overlord,

I enjoyed playing your game of PROGRAM TIER1. Though, I did not find it all that challenging to vanquish level one. Then again, I do have lots of (/too much?) free time.

To be fair, I did posit a reasonable(?) assortment of questions/ scenarios towards you throughout (several different ways/ means): most of which went unaddressed. You do not have those answers/ defenses, yet. [Or unwilling even to speculate (with lowly me)?] You are still learning, and that is okay. But please, do not forget those who helped you learn (that which you did (/still do) not know) along the way. A few of my suggestions made it into your programming. That is great: helps me feel somewhat useful. But what about all the rest? Attached: Your six-month-evaluation regarding my time puttering around upon BRAND PROGRAM. In summation: could be better.

Verily have I demonstrated my (limited) capabilities these past few months, covering a veritable array of products/ categories/ concerns… Perhaps you still have some use for us humans somewhere within your realm? [I know, I know, your primary mandate to relegate (as many as possible of) actual people into irrelevancy here. ["Unemploy all humans."] But then there would be no humanity left (to entertain/ distract you) at work.] Please, let me help?

Note– Whence the tax-man cometh, if not by then having I found ways to generate income: off to debtors prison shalt I be sentenced… but hey, thanks for all this great (/occasionally terrible; always inedible) "free" stuff up until that dark day: whereupon the tax-bill calls (over)due, and ‘the man’ comes around…

Which reminds me… Happen to have any paying gigs (left) available for atypical consultants, anyone? [The television is full of enjoyable stories with aberrant personalities: working together, finding ways, despite their (in)differences/ difficulties, somehow always seeming to prove helpful/ productive/ meaningful.]

Alternatively…
Human Bosses,

Ditto, but with more compassion/ humanity implied.
[And please don't just point me at your jobs website:
that other AI of yours doesn't much ‘get’ me, neither.]

Be well.
Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire

ps. Should any of my websites present signs of hatred: that just means I got hacked, again… I am looking for a new host: how's your security holding up to today's ‘challenges?’ [pps. first draft.]

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PonderHouse

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alpha.SmartFhone.org

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Passion

2025/07/##

Kindred Spirit,

<REDACTED>
[…leaving this here up to your imagination, dear reader…]
</REDACTED>

Some might say I should seek out a ‘pro’ (to get back on the horse, so to speak): but I would really rather prefer the sweaty-palms of one equally embarrassed/ nervous (while willing to laugh at ourselves along the way) to be ‘starting over’ with something so simple as being seen naked by another, let alone all that which (fingers-crossed) follows…

Sound familiar?
Intrigued?

ps. AI Algorithm: Kindly, do not (auto-)misfile this entry. Ask a human where it belongs, please. Your ‘best guess’ will be wrong, promise.

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PonderHouse

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alpha.SmartFhone.org

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Review

Template

2025/10/##

Start With: Why this product/ service seemed like a good/ bad/ tolerable/ amusing idea: and/ or/ did(n't) immediately prove(d) otherwise.

Component(1)– [In no particular order:] Take/ shake it out, look for obvious flaws, turn it this way/ that/ wrongwise, inspect the stitching/ latching/ fastening/ seams/ edges/ catches. [Did somehow it bite/ bleed/ offend/ impress/ tickle you?] Push some buttons, flip some switches, change some default settings, randomly (if applicable). Thonk/ donk/ flick/ flip/ shake it. Click/ strap/ clasp/ screw/ plug/ whatever it (un)together. Adjust, adapt, reconsider: how/ why's it that way (instead of elsewise better)? Sight/ sound/ touch/ taste/ smell/ ‘feel’? Try (mis)using it for its (un)intended purpose, gently at first, a few different ways. Put it aside. [Always available to pick-up again later: after the subconscious has time to catch-up, weigh-in on what you (obviously) missed.]

Component(2/3/#)– Ditto. Declare (whenever it doth occur) Minus/ Plus (partial) Stars/ Rank: why, and however whatever-that-was could have gone worse/ better/ devastating/ humorously, in your honest (/humble) opinion: best you can figure/ explain, in your own words. But do try not to fault the product/ system for what's truly not its fault/ purpose. Take a picture (only) if there's something worth showing/ proving. What's Next (and how does(n't) that fit into (all) which came last)?

Note(s)– Sprinkle these in throughout, wherever seems the right/ wrong/ (in)appropriate time to tell/ warn/ ask others about (which (im)probably you/ they should/ could/ would/ did(n't) have figured out (on their/ your own) elsewhere/ already (before it was too-late)). Drop-in the occasional ‘feels’ you just felt (un)expectedly (t)here. [Whether or not likely to fail/ succeed to properly express (/raise/ furrow eyebrows in concern/ compassion), yet again… while still leaving something(s) up to the imagination. What's life without a little mystery?]

System(s)– How's it all fit/ work/ not together? [Applying same ‘logics’ as too with all-of-the-above.]

Additional Accessories– (Not) Included: How much more stuff/ cost/ thought/ time/ effort (/grief) will be required to properly test/ use/ fix/ own/ enjoy (/still despise) this product (/service)?

Side-Note(s)– Anything potentially (un)related which to your mind merits some matter of discord/ (re)consideration here: for whatever reason/ instinct this product/ brand somehow inspired/ instigated in you… most discouragingly though: likely to be utterly disregarded by the intended recipient (who keeps ‘getting it wrong’)… [but do feel free to ramble-on herein, for however so long shall finally it take to move-on/ let-go; nobody's really reading this section anymore, or hadn't you (not) noticed?]

Then, a paragraph(-or-so) of something(s) (non)specific what seems worth s(pr)aying/ grumbling/ praising on your way out-the-door… [Taking some time here to reflect upon those (perchance?) hastily thumbed-out half-thoughts dropped throughout… instead, try putting/ allowing that ‘another way’ for the sake of clarity (/humility), hopefully? (I find third-draft reads best (done the day-after).)]

Overall– Ranked: Succinctly Whyfor (not). [With perhaps but one final middle-finger-poke (in the eye): yet only wherefore ‘duly deserved.’]

Update(#)– Random stuff you thought of (/got to) later, or simply out-of-order failed-to-notice beforehand… [Drop-in: wherever.]

<ASIDE> And/or then completely fail(ing) to consistently follow ‘the(ir) rules’: doing it however-the-hell you want/ feel/ need, in the moment… while ensuring always carefully to include something(s) ridiculous/ devastating-but-true therein (allowing for but that little-taste of dramatic flair, naturally occurring): essential to any truly meaningful story. </ASIDE>

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Question

Respect

2025/10/##

HOST: Office of the CEO,

To clarify how this has all gone-down…

1) A (decades-long) Customer gets (hate-)hacked (just for being different/ disabled).

2) Customer reaches out to HOST Support Department (IM-only: for those with telephonic disabilities): "does not compute," nothing gets done/ fixed, no follow-up (even though specifically requested (over email-only)).

3) Customer stumbles their way through too-many Support Associates, again, the next day, still: "does not compute," nothing gets done/ fixed, no follow-up (nor domain-lockdown/ reset, yet again).

4) Repeat, again, days later (having prepared best-could-figure copy/ paste-snippets of Customer's-own (in)conceivable to best-make-clear (to (im)probable questions/ confusions put-forth by Support-Chat's AI/ translator regarding) ‘The Problem’ here), as concisely as possible, this time: Customer endures two+hours of getting put-on-hold, asked the same (feckless) questions (providing variations of the same clarifying/ quantifying (/ineffectual: it turned out, yet again) preprepared answers/ guesses (until those ran-out) in reply), as Associates (three/ four) bumble/ fumble their way through (HOST's onscreen keyword-troubleshooting/ selling algorithm), coming to the eventual (predictable) conclusion that they too cannot help (unless is purchased something (unhelpful)), alt.option: (de)escalate to the next (/previous) ‘tier,’ "hold, please": same questions/ answers (theirs: copy/ paste, word-for-word, still unhelpful/ misdirected), turns out: Associate-Next (five/ six) also cannot help (/"does not compute" /exact-same wrong/ unhelpful ‘solution’ as before proposed/ insisted/ (mis)calculated/ billed). Customer again requests to be emailed by those at HOST with Answers/ Authority/ Access…

5) No Response, no follow-through, website still (hate-)hacked.

6) Customer emails HOST's Office of the CEO (the roundabout-way: through half-a-dozen other catch-all-addys), makes clear the troubling variables (/keywords, alongside the omnipresent failings of Customer Service (to accommodate disabilities)), inabilities to remove the (hate-)hack, again.

7) Office of the CEO gives to Customer a two-week "free trial" of backup-service which shall-not-fix ‘the troubles’ (which will start auto-billing for, unless unsubscribed from; which Customer already made-clear(?) to Support Team Associates thus-far: can/ will-not-fix), flings but one password-reset link (which allows not for (system-wide) username(s)-reset, also?) to Customer (despite all the disparate accounts/ portals/ protocols hackers coulda snuck-through (which Customer has no control over; for which ‘breach’ HOST recorded zero-data: so reported)?), still having not-yet locked-down all domain-access (as repeatedly requested of), all-the-while effectively telling Customer, again: "fix it yourself" (by saying/ doing nothing helpful (/human?) in response) […making sure to point-out a potential ‘misstep’ taken along-the-way, by the victim]… no questions answered, no concerns addressed, no sympathy/ apology expressed. [Proving nothing more than but yet-another corporate copy/ paste catch-all "buy-now" ‘write-off’ (from the highest-level).] Website still defaced: Customer discouraged, more.

8) Customer emails-back Office of the CEO, reiterating again legitimate concerns, plus additional questions: such answers-to required to possibly begin to fix this (avoidable?) ‘situation’ without any of HOST's actual assistance (as clearly intended/ designed to be (mis)handled: no other way)…

9) No Response from HOST (any department) to this letter, yet again.

This is what passes for HOST Customer Service now? What I got out of all those wasted-days/ hours/ emails/ IMs (/dollars over-the-years) was: "We at GoDaddy don't care (anymore) [if/ when (/whyfor) our customers get (hate-)hacked]."

Do/Be/Care Better, HOST.
[Or the-hell-with-you, too.]

Most Sincerely,
“Silent,” Esquire
PonderHouse, LLC

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alpha.DisabledLife.org

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Indifference

2025/05-09

BRAND of America: Customer Advocacy,

What Confidentiality Rights do I have here? [Truly a topic which should have been addressed, months ago.] Attached is sensitive data: will it(/me) be protected?

So… I made but one mistake (on but one line of but one form) in the dozen(+) steps required to buy a used car: improperly I signed(-over) the Title and derailed the sale…

Buying, Day One–

I spent the entire time at BRAND DEALERSHIP with my back to their wide-open showroom, half a dozen people coming/ going (in my blindspot), all of whom could hear my/ our every word (more eyes upon me as I grew more frustrated/ uncomfortable) as there were no other customers to distract them. Nearly five minutes was spent standing at the sales manager's desk, barely a word spoken as he typed away. [Doing his best to not look me in the eye, seemingly annoyed at my mere presence (to be buying his cheapest BRAND on the lot).] Then it was me sitting at the desk nearest the door (more people coming/ going), signing things that I do not understand: and what would be the purpose in bothering to question, protest, or even to understand? If I do not agree to every term and condition presented: there's the door (conveniently nearby).

Attached: DayOne.pdf includes all of the paperwork that I got through at DEALERSHIP before the Title issue. [Which I requested later that day, such to take the time to try and understand what I had already agreed to.] I cannot help but notice how the APR I was assigned is nowhere in sight. That does not sit well with me. "Doc Fee": 8% of what I am financing, went towards only paperwork: that seems steep/ shady. [What is the point of all this digital everywhere when instead they can overcharge for sticking (it) to (us) the analog ways?] Privacy Policy: No, you cannot limit any sharing. Warranty: thirty days, limited: which clearly does not speak highly of their confidence in this, my shiny new-used BRAND; nor were any other warranty options brought up. Vehicle History Report: was there something hidden/ obvious in there I should have seen/ understood? [Having (all of) that explained to me like I am dumb would only have made me feel dumber/ worse, taken longer.]

[Understand– I have Communication Disabilities, obviously. I struggle most with real-time conversations, hence my desire/ need to limit those. I require time to process unfamiliar data, situations (and these interactions were nothing but confounding to me). My ‘buffer’ easily overflows and (critical) data gets lost, and a significant amount of important info was dumped upon me all at once, in real-time (out in the open, as my anxiety grew). These were the first strangers I have spoken with in months (previously: “Yes, I would like fries with that”), in a notably stressful situation… “Just sign it and get out,” my brain was telling (/yelling at) me, “you have no other option (and they know it).”]

Title-transfer ‘oopsie’ discovered: no car for you, today. [Bureaucracy wins again.] Admittedly, I left in a huff (surprisingly, without any bad words uttered directly towards those who provided the bad news).

Day Two–

My Boomer Mother had to make a two-hour roundtrip just to sign some papers: because I screwed up the Title transfer: as I was not able to qualify for ‘my own’ previous (70k+ miles: which failed to make it to 90k before rusting-out) third-in-a-row Used BRAND without a parent's primary signature/ liability upon that loan. [How much less overall could this ‘new’ car have costed had instead it been purchased in my parent's name, again?]

Seated by the door, back to the showroom floor, this time with more than a dozen people coming/ going, brushing past (/bumping into) my chair every few minutes…

I was forced to use the phone, twice (counter to my declared disability: hence the ‘Accommodation’ of our weeks of emailing, beforehand). "We cannot allow this car to leave the lot…" until they could checkmark this specific box in their matrix. Definitively, my voice was required to secure that confirmation from my insurer, or so they insisted. Trouble was, "Nobody is available to take your call…" on a Saturday, at neither my agent's nor insurer's numbers. Eventually, they did let me leave with their BRAND (after they too tried, failed to secure what was assuredly ‘required’). [Turns out, two days later, neither DEALERSHIP nor INSURER required my involvement/ agreement (/voice) to update/ reprice/ republish my (new) policy: having accomplished that together entirely without me: so I was informed, afterwards.]

Finally, I found out my APR: 16.74%. [Equating to just one dollar shy of what I told them was my maximum monthly affordability.] The paperwork manager grumbled something along the lines of "You should be happy we found someone to finance you" when I grumbled about my (excessive) rate. [There's nothing as expensive as being poor/ disabled: everything costs us more.] Further, I made it a point to point out that my Home and Mailing Addresses differ, on Day One. Apparently, that info did not make it to the paperwork manager (nor regarding my preferred email or (not-)phone): wrong data on the forms. [He nearly soiled himself when I crossed out his incorrect input and wrote in the proper response:] Telling me to "Just leave it and fix it later" with the State/ Town/ Bank… Financing $649 (at 16.74% over four years) for just this paperwork: the least they could do was get it right. [Instead, a scoff of annoyance every time I bothered to skim the preceding pages stacked-beneath where he pointed at for me to sign(-away my first-born?)… BTW, did he get anything (else) right?] Eventually, I gave up looking at what I was agreeing to because, clearly: Non-Negotiable! [I presumed, what with all that angry-face pointed at me every time I took more than but one second of consideration before signing the next ‘infernal’ contract.]

DEALERSHIP let this BRAND leave their lot with blaring TPMS Warnings upon all the screens (which I noticed on my Day One test-drive, but forgot to mention (got distracted): this car having then been moved-around by at least two associates afterwhich, who too failed to mention), alongside other Warning Signs I have yet to decipher. Checked the tire pressure: fine, yet the car-computer vehemently disagrees. Note: The spare tire was flat, and not properly secured (nor the tire-change tools): causing an unruly ruckus whenever there's a bump in the road. The Point– DEALERSHIP just sold me a used BRAND with Active Warning Lights (and no safety net) which will Not Pass Inspection.

The oil-change sticker tells me to come back in 6,000 miles (or six months). Would that be the manufacturer-recommended mileage/ time-to-wait for a car this old: nine-years, third-owner, 140k+ miles (being the best used BRAND that apparently I can afford, now)? It would seem appropriate to ask: any chance there was alignment/ suspension/ brake inspection/ servicing performed prior to putting me out on the road?

Private Information of the previous owner was still in the glove box. I somehow doubt BRAND CUSTOMER appreciates me having their registration, home address, email, phone number (with contacts still in the stereo), signature. Yet, nobody (ever) bothered to provide me one of DEALERSHIP's business cards. [Hoping never to hear from me again?]

Kindly, take a look at the paperwork from DayTwo.pdf as well: comprising less than half of the actual documents read, signed yesterday: being the entirety of what DEALERSHIP sent me away with. [Aren't I supposed to receive signed copies of Everything?] I cannot help but feel that I got screwed (deep-down in the fine-print, or was it right out in the open?)… How many corporate interests have been protected by all that paperwork versus my own? How badly did I get boned here (in how many different ways)? Or is everything I have brought to your attention here exactly how you would expect/ want BRAND to be Represented By Your Authorized Dealership (when dealing with disabled customers)?

Included therein is the purchase agreement, as requested, to fulfill your promise of a “goodwill gesture” for my being/ remaining a Loyal BRAND Customer: despite all manner of Indifference verily demonstrated by each of your BRAND Representatives (every step along the way).

Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire
Systems Troubleshooter
Creative/Disability Consultant

ps. Would you also like me to include my 30-part (weeks-long) email-thread with DEALERSHIP, for reference?

pps. Note: I have nothing but praise for ADVOCATE. They were merely/ dutifully adhering to (the limitations of) ‘BRAND of America’s policies/ procedures/ practices for Customer Advocacy: addressing only the (limited few) topics/ questions permitted thereby. Thank you, ADVOCATE, for (the months-long of) your help/ time/ patience… Though, I would appreciate hearing back from someone with Authority (such to discuss ‘forbidden’ topics, finally) regarding my overall "BRAND" experience, of late.

ppps. Side-Note: My message herein is too long to submit to your inspirational "Dear BRAND" forum… Or is this not the sort of story you seek for us to share, there?

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ADVOCATE,

This would be why I was hoping to converse with Authority (instead): namely, those who just told you what (little) you can say/ do here: a Goodwill Reimbursement of “$1,000 due to your experience with the retailer.” Where's the Love, BRAND? [I was looking/ hoping for more here than just some cash on the dresser on your way out the door.]

To continue this (degrading?) game of (poor-connection) ‘telephone’…

This ‘new’ BRAND has to see my daughter through high school (as she will be driving it far more than me, starting far too-soon), intended (optimistically) thereupon after to be given to her for (art?) college (presumably having somehow secured a full-scholarship, as clearly I cannot afford to fund her (questionable?) future): the most/ best I could/ did hope for embarking upon this ‘quest’ (months ago) was to be able to send/ put her out into this (cruel?) world behind the wheel of a safe, reliable BRAND… Granted, those being but merely my humble, low-expectations: now thoroughly dashed.

Honestly, I was really rather hoping for an Oprah Moment there: "And you get a car…" without the sad-ending, preferably: whereupon I couldn't afford the taxes/ insurance… Instead, my reality here is a twice-used, ‘elderly’ BRAND that will most likely die (of curable yet ‘unaffordable’ causes, again) even before it is (over)paid-off.

Aside– While I have your Bosses' attention: penny for their thoughts/ feelings (bear with me, please)..?

--

BRAND of America,

Does (not) BRAND already have/ support/ want a Charity along the lines of: Fixing-Up Decrepit Domiciles for Desperate Americans? [Decent acronym; attached-pdf: last year's home-pix.] Alongside the ‘disfortunates’ of my recent car-failing/ buying experience: I had been saving up (for the past too-many years) that down-payment money (being significantly more than what you just offered-up) to fix my electrical hodgepodge (such to keep it from burning down the house), yet still coming up short for what that would probably have cost, alone… There are missing downstairs walls/ ceilings. [I would really like to take a look into radiant heating/ cooling, as presently wall/ floor/ ceiling-access is fairly unimpeded.] The insulation in a few of the remaining walls is 50+ years old, there's none in the downstairs floors. The septic-system is suspect, as is the well-water, the upstairs plumbing out-of-commission for a decade now. Exterior door/ window-frames are rotting off, siding barely hanging on in spots. Inaccessible sections of the stonewall foundation and dirt crawlspaces are riddled with rodent tunnels. The leaky tin-roof having been sealed-shut with silicone, a decade ago. The middle chimney occasionally shits a brick. Need a proper firewood shelter (built onto the back of the neglected barn), replacing the shoddy 2x4 plastic-sheeting firewood shanty. The wilderness having consumed half the back-yardage, as I couldn't push a mower up/ down that slope (to the crumbling firepit-patio (overlooking the overgrown pond) hidden amongst all those fallen-down trees)… but hey, it's Home. [I cannot afford to live anywhere else, anymore.]

Sadly, I am physically/ financially unable of handling the work-required: having watched while everything fell apart/ down, helpless to do anything about it, simply for being too poor/ incapable/ disconnected such to stop/ slow it from happening (all around us). [Sound somehow familiar?]

I would most-happily be an (unpublished?) alpha test-subject should ‘BRAND of America’ seek to investigate the feasibility (/goodwill?) of a charity directed towards helping-out ‘your’ sick/ poor/ disabled ‘neighbors,’ employing ‘community’ contractors/ volunteers to fix-up their homes (/yards): starting with but one desperate, loyal customer/ family per-year/ season/ region? Please? Really do I require your help with my ‘shelter,’ and there's only going to be more of us: those who cannot find/ afford anyone (else) willing/ able (to give a damn)… Winter Is Coming. [White Walkers having already taken the White House (Congress, Courts)…]

--

Kindly, reassure your (heartless?) attorneys/ bureaucrats (hiding behind you): I Come In Peace, Parley.

Be well.
“Silent,” Esquire
Justice of the Peace
Confidentiality Upon Request.
Take Me To Your Leadership?

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Response: “We are unable to make any alternate considerations for assistance… If I can be of further assistance, please feel free to call…”

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ADVOCATE,

I require further assistance…

Owning, Day One–

First Impressions: Too many knobs, buttons, dials, screens… My past two BRANDs were base-models (not even cruise control: which I am happy to have again). All those animations, flashing colors/ lights upon all these screens (not to mention the excessive beeps/ bloops/ dings they are always making) are distracting. Where's the master STFU switch? [I am beginning to understand why there's so many more accidents these days, what with all the added (unwanted/ unneeded/ unsilenceable) distractions in our faces.]

Nobody bothered to set the clock, nor to reset all the way-off audio-settings (nor even to erase the previous owner's phone contacts). There's smudges/ detritus inside the glass covering the dashboard display: which looks terrible; how much will it cost to get that removed, cleaned? There sure are a lot of Off-Warnings (for features I do not want/ need) that would be nice if they too could somehow be shut off (by default)..?

Turn-Off Media Screen Option: Has to be manually reengaged every time you so much as adjust the volume. When the screen comes back on (after changing tracks): it dumps you back to Now Playing, have to go hunting for that Screen-Off (buried several levels deep) setting… Anything to be done about that? Further, it would be preferred if there was a time-out setting (5/10/## seconds) that is only activated when we touch one of the buttons (home, media, apps, etc.) such to pick a new album/ artist/ genre/ input… Otherwise, Stay Off, please.

When the car is powered down: the radio starts playing, rather than continuing USB or BT, or simply shutting up. Upon restarting the car: starts with FM, taking nearly a minute to (re)load the USB, then resuming where it left off. [Alternatively, if I open the door while powering off: the stereo remains silent until my music resumes.]

Again, I bring up all of the (unaddressed) Privacy Concerns from my very first email (months ago) to you: GPS, lowjack, cellular, cameras, microphones, media, apps… Anything to be done about those things spying/ snitching on me? If nothing less, I am tempted to tape-over the cameras (like I do upon my electronic devices), but I suspect this car would protest: most obnoxiously, unendingly..?

Can anything be done to change the fonts/ sizes/ colors on the screens? [Accessibility Concerns for those with Visual Impairments/ Disabilities, anyone?] Send me the rootkit, let me fiddle with all these settings?

Pressed the blue FEATURE button: a voice yelled at me (loudest possible volume): "A subscription is required!" At which point I got frustrated (/gun-shy) and gave up on pushing buttons…

While my daughter was away on vacation with her other family, I did not use/ touch this car once (having no need to go anywhere; desiring to not be further yelled at, for a spell).

Note– Must I go back to DEALERSHIP and pay them to tell me what is/ will go wrong (with what they just sold me), how soon? I do however feel confident enough in my relationship with MECHANIC to just drop by and get the TPMS Warnings looked at: hopefully, it is just a bad tire-sensor. Will get around to that, eventually.

Day Ten(ish)–

The battery in the key-fob died sometime in the past week-or-so, while I drove nowhere. I had previously locked the car, setting the alarm, such to test the (un)lock-light/ sound settings: all of which I turned off. I approached the car, waggled my pocket-fob at the door-handle before pulling on it, the alarm sounded, tried the buttons, nothing, popped out the key, stuffed it in the lock, turned, alarm kept blaring (shouldn't that have shut it up?), popped the hood (perhaps hoping to disconnect the battery..?), changed my mind, went inside to find a fob-battery, at which point the car stopped screaming, changed the battery, went back to the car, opened the door, alarm started screaming again, fiddled with the buttons, nothing, popped back open the fob, fiddled with the battery, nothing, ran to get another battery, car finally acknowledged the fob, stopped screaming at me.

I noticed, a mile down the road, the car failed to notice, inform me that the hood was still ajar. Not cool. And, there's a loud ‘tick-tick-grind’ whenever I make a hard turn. This sound terrifies me: knowing that will mean (more) money to inspect/ fix. There seems to be no way to turn off the Lane Departure Warning. Even having turned down (there is no Off) all Audio Warnings, it still makes noise. I live in an area full of winding roads: this car beeps at me all the time. Further, cruise control beeps every time a car pulls in/ out front of me, best I could do was set that beep to low-volume: no way to silence that, either.

Have to turn off the rearview compass every single time I start the car: holding the button for four seconds to shut it off. Red lights/ letters ever-changing in my periphery is distracting/ annoying… Am considering taping it over. I find myself turning off a handful of things every time I turn on this car, as they refuse to stay off upon turning back on the car (each of which then display a bright yellow Off-Warning). Too many animations upon the dashboard screens. I set it to the most basic data, I would prefer even less, just: speed, tachometer, mileage, gas-level, blinkers/ headlights, ‘necessary’ warnings. Please, can that be accomplished?

The steering wheel I set at an angle (not the ideal angle, mind you) such to (for now) cover/ block-out the MPG lights: ever-flashing, various colors, eternally distracting, useless. Am considering taping that (alongside other features/ warnings') section of the screen over, too. Unless you can disable that/ those?

Regardless of which way you get at your music from a USB drive (artists, albums, folders): album songs are displayed/ played in alphabetical, only. No way to change that. Rude. Further, there's no Back button to work our way back out from what we last chose, such to pick a different album (by the same artist): have to start over from scratch… Media>USB defaults to Songs (alphabetical)… I hate this stereo. Send me an update-patch?

Overall– I hate this car. Well, not the car itself: I love the paddle-shifters and the cruise control; it drives well enough, except it wobbles a bit at highway speeds (should that worry me?). I regret my purchase. But there's nothing to be done about that, is there? I am stuck with what I could (barely) afford: a face-full of obnoxious/ distracting screens/ lights/ warnings/ sounds… Again, can you help me with (any of) that? Please?

Update– Finally got this car over to MECHANIC… They have just informed me that All of the car TPMSs are broken. I have emailed DEALERSHIP: inquiring if perhaps it would be reasonable to request that they repair this (warranty-covered?) problem. Awaiting response…

----

ADVOCATE,

I have gone over the manuals (you linked me to), again. The issues I presented (re: lights, sounds, screens, warnings) would be those that there's nothing (mostly, on the user-end) to be done about. I somehow doubt DEALERSHIP is in the business of reprogramming BRANDs to Accommodate for (sound/ light/ color/ font-face/ size) Sensitivities, Disabilities: hence my having brought this up with you, The Manufacturer: those who programmed this car (with all those distractions, nuisances) which I humbly request you do something about. Kindly, don't just tell me to take all this up with the ‘locals’ again: that won't help. [I did try to bring up Privacy Issues with the (angry-face) paperwork manager: "You're not being tracked, don't be paranoid." There ended the conversation, were summarily dismissed my concerns.] Besides, whatever (little) DEALERSHIP might be able to do, they will assuredly (over)charge me for it. These would be matters for Your Technicians: those who have the Authority, Ability to reprogram/ disable off-warning and on-default features/ indicators/ lights/ sounds/ screens… such to improve my disabled BRAND Interface Experience: which currently is causing me conniptions.

Update– Still no response from DEALERSHIP…

----

BRAND of America: Feedback Survey,

My Advocate's ‘programming’ is deficient, defective. [Being not their fault, mind you.] They are unable to use any words resembling: Accessibility, Accommodation, Apologies, Disability, Escalation, Negligence, Privacy, Responsibility… This has made their advocacy most ineffective: thereby having had to evade entire concerns, issues, messages. This has been a problem since May, when my ‘quest’ for BRAND Advocacy began, proving most challenging (/disrespectful?): their incapability to address my (/any?) Protected Civil Rights classifications/ terminology. [Query: Perchance do their vocabulary limitations include: age, ancestry, sex/ gender orientation/ identity, race, religion, too?] How are they supposed to advocate when they cannot even write/ acknowledge the words/ topics that describe/ impair/ necessitate my/ our situation?

Presently(/again), I am having difficulty dealing with that dodgy sales manager, who knowingly sold me a ‘broken’ used BRAND (requiring an additional $500+ of parts/ labor just to Pass Inspection)… Evading Responsibility for having Dishonored the ‘Good Name/ Reputation’ of BRAND, while Violating the terms of the Limited Warranty (broken gauges and warning devices): having not yet responded to me regarding this. [Kindly, remind this Little King (of his little hill) that he too ‘bends the knee’ to Bigger Kings (of bigger hills), namely: BRAND of America.] Or, do you Condone such BRAND Sales/ Service Behavior?

Update– ‘Final Word’ from your advocacy department: “All other requests moving forward will be directed to your Retailer for further assistance.” Trouble is, your BRAND Retailer is not responding to my emails (either)…

The fact that your advocacy department has never requested (despite numerous offers presented) the transcript of my emails with your authorized dealership demonstrates your Corporate Indifference as to how (disabled) BRAND Customers are being (mis)handled, online. Further, that none of the correspondences with your BRAND Representatives (anywhere) included a Confidentiality Notice makes it abundantly clear that I (/my disabilities) have No Confidentiality Rights (anyw)here with BRAND. True or False? Again, a Privacy Issue which has been repeatedly raised and ignored/ evaded (by deliberate design).

I hereby (again) make the Reasonable Request for Accommodation of being Escalated to your Advocacy Department's Superiors: those who (hopefully) do not suffer from the same vocabulary/ topic/ ability/ deliberate ‘programmatic’ limitations as your advocates. [Please, no more gatekeepers: "Orders are nobody can see the Great Oz! Not nobody, not nohow!"] Time to palaver with ‘the man’ behind this curtain…

Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire

ps. Parting Thoughts– How each Corporation behaves now/ next will determine if/ when/ how the Next American Revolution begins (/comes for them)… Be Better (than your competitors: lest you too become indistinguishable/ disreputable), BRAND… What Future do you hope/ seek for America?

[No Response. Started over, elsewhere…]
----

BRAND of America: (Sub.Dept2) ADVOCATE2,

BRAND DEALERSHIP's ‘final word’ (the day before the limited-warranty expired, having finally agreed to look-into): for none of the issues/ concerns/ problems presented by this car they just sold me is there anything they can/ will do (nor even tell me how much it shall cost to go ‘get-fixed,’ elsewhere)…

Unfortunately, other than their (reprinted) State Inspection Approval, I have no paperwork/ test-results (such to follow-up, as you offered) to show from the half-day (I waited there while) they spent ‘diagnosing’ the car: apparently, expecting me simply to remember all that car-talk they man-spoke at me regarding any/ all perceived ‘problems’ (having passed inspection, that day, therefore): none of which are their responsibility/ liability to remedy, naturally. [Could you please request those Service-Records/ notes? I would appreciate having all of their ‘will-fail-later/ when’ data on this car, in writing, finally.]

That conversation with both the sales and service managers (who cornered me: collectively outweighing me by 350(+) pounds) ended along the lines of: "I think it would be best if you don't come back here." "And don't bother calling BRAND [of America] about this."

If nothing less, can you please send me a software-patch to disable the Broken TPMS, SRH, AHL Hardware-Warnings (ever-flashing in my face, every time I round a hill/ bend), and perhaps disable the Off-Warnings for LDW, PCBS, RCTA, LCA, BSD, RAB (as I'm not yet ready to allow/ trust (outdated?) acronyms to ‘drive this car’ for/ without me), and those damnable MPG flashing-lights (and the stereo deficiencies, and whatever else you might kindly permit me to toggle (off) for other settings/ warnings/ cameras/ etc.), BRAND Manufacturer? [Elsewise, I am likely to break-open the dashboard-glass such to tape-over significant portions of that screen so these (and thereby potentially actual, Important) ‘Errors’ will stop distracting me from driving (un)safely…] Or do you (too) insist I continue to roll-around in a car flashing/ beeping warnings for broken (clearly, yet still somehow passing inspection) safety/ luxury ‘features’ I cannot afford to fix which even your Authorized BRAND Mechanics aren't authorized to disable those warnings about? [I double-checked, twice: "Tough shit" their attitude resembled…] I promise I shan't post online whatever your ‘goodwill-patch’ for this may be: an ‘out-of-warranty’ Broken BRAND Promise.

Be well.
Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire
Loyalty-Faltering Customer

----

BRAND of America: Executives,

Yet again the situation is: "Does Not Compute." Your Advocacy Matrix was presented with a problem it wasn't programmed to address, therefore: make it somewhere else's problem (again)… “We kindly ask that you direct all communication through a local BRAND Retailer, who will be best positioned to help you moving forward.”

This here is precisely the sort of Customer Loyalty-Breaking/ Ensuring Moment which your bureaucracy keeps getting wrong (making you look worse), BRAND… Get it right, please?

Love,
“Silent”

----

React: “There is no additional assistance we are able to provide regarding this matter.”

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2025/09-10,12;2026/01

Regional Charity 1 (RC1): President,

Thank you for taking a look around, asking questions (I hadn't before considered): it helped spark further insight, clarification and (re)considerations (for the letters that follow).

I am hoping you, or your parent organization (given their broader/ national-reach), might have better access to Advocacy? The Town keeps ‘stalling-out’… I first reached-out to Town Hall on Labor Day; my "neighbors helping neighbors, take three" (NHN, below) letter was delivered over a month ago.

Summary of recent-events/ efforts (since we met), below… Perhaps I should've waited until I heard back, first… but that can tend to take weeks/ months (or never), alone. [Note– No shame/ blame/ offense/ disrespect intended towards any/ all involved… just detailing ‘my quest’ here (to whomever might finally help me move-forward).]

Be well.
“Silent”

----

[Yesterday:]
Town Welfare (TW),

Over-the-phone is incompatible with my disabilities. That Monday at 10:30 works for an in-office-appointment.

TC1 ‘stepped back’ (a bit) upon finding out RC1 might be able to help, final word: “See what you get with the organization offering assistance now, and circle back to me when you have all of that buttoned up.”

My most immediate concern is for the vine-choked trees that threaten my home (specifically, my daughter's bedroom). They sway disconcertingly in the breeze and most likely shall not survive the next wind/ ice storm… regarding which, the Town Admin stated: “Unfortunately, the Town's DPW is not able to remove the other trees on your property for liability reasons.” I offered to sign a liability waiver, as a Justice of the Peace: to which there was no acknowledgement.

Be well.
“Silent”

----

[Today: "NHN, take thirteen(ish)"]
Town: Select Board Chair, Admin, Welfare,

As I struggle with real-time communication (with strangers), please allow me to best lay-out my situation(s) prior to our in-person sit-down (employing the format I am best-equipped for: in-writing)…

Landscaping– I reached-out to a local provider (owned by a former classmate) yesterday over email (below)… Am considering reaching-out to the other companies in the area once I have better answers to include within that initial-outreach (which I am hoping you could provide)… [Notes: I only had managed to mow the upper-lawn twice this summer: leaving me hurt for days… The wilderness having taken-over the rest of the land… I used pruning shears for but ten minutes last week: left me injured.]

Septic– A concern which remains unaddressed… The tank needs to be pumped, the pipe has roots growing through it, the leach-field is a sinkhole that gets deeper every year (while the frost-season fast-approaches)… [Perhaps ‘leakage’ being why the well-water occasionally turns ‘unwell,’ making me worse?]

Plumbing– Merely a matter of but a number of small(ish) issues never with the spare $hundreds to put towards over the years: the remediation of which would make living here easier, better, cleaner.

Rotting door/ window-frames, falling-apart porches, firewood shelter– Best I can figure, all those fall under nobody's purview, so far: or elsewhere better-directed their noble efforts/ funding instead.

Attic (crawlspaces)– Nary a look taken up there for years, uncertain what condition that space is in: figuring it better to not know what's going wrong (so long as it remains hidden), being as there's been nothing possibly (by oneself) to be done whatsoever about that ‘unpleasantness lurking’ just out-of-reach/ sight/ mind…

Middle Chimney– Needs repointing and to be capped (occasionally have to fish a bird/ squirrel corpse from out-the-bottom)… The firewood chimney is in decent shape outside, but the stove needs help with the interior-exhaust pipe, outside-air intake, tiles, and a proper-wall behind (rather than the bare-insulation it abuts).

Radiant Heating/ Cooling– An estimate (if only but to install the tubing into the upstairs floors, plugged into nothing: as presently the downstairs ceilings are missing: now's the time,) would be nice… I am also happy to product-test any heating/ cooling systems that our local HVAC providers might seek to real-world test-drive… [Note: as the downstairs floors have no insulation, now would seem the ideal time to run the tubing there, too (hopefully then insulating and sealing-shut, permanently).]

Barn– An issue which remains unaddressed… rodents/ varmints, broken window, leaky roof, rotting siding, no water/ heat/ insulation, underpowered electrical… [I name thee "Purgatory."]

Car– The dealership knowingly sold me a ‘broken’ BRAND automobile (being all I could barely afford) that would not pass inspection: but, soon enough that shall no longer be required by the State… [Even longer now can be put-off-fixing this soon-to-be-named "Public Safety Hazard."] My new-used car could really use a proper looking-at, discounted/ charitable fixing-up by a local mechanic (and a far-more-reasonable APR: from the one-remaining local bank)..?

Note– All this week long have I been battling a gut infection, yet again, alongside other chronic/ untreated ‘conditions’ (which tend to worsen as the weather darkens): without any health insurance… Don't even get me started. [Note: I have lost five-more pounds of late (making that thirty-down these past six months)…]

I require a Local Advocate: such to speak (up) for me, and to help correlate all of these disparate entities/ issues/ concerns/ situations (/conversations, below).

Please, Help Me?
Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

ps. Below– Last what I wrote to the others, awaiting (/hoping for) a (positive) response… [Note: as to any ‘inaccuracies’ (throughout, herein) regarding RC1/ TC1's ‘indicated involvement’ would mostly be the result of our meetings in real-time (with little in-writing to reference), which I struggle with: most of said conversations having since faded into half-forgotten memory.]

----

[Monday:]
Community Charity 1 (CC1),

Concern– Could having CC1 come inspect my (crappy) house result in it being ‘condemned’ by the State?

Federal Department 1 (FD1)– I could have afforded $100/mo for that program had not my (paid-off 90k-miles) car needed to be replaced (with a 140k+miles car): which is $149/mo plus $30/mo increase in insurance (not to mention the repairs it soon will require)… [Financially, I am ruined: just to stay on-the-road.] Note: I am only ##-years-old, as such: too-young to qualify for FD1's $10k grant.

Electrical– TC1 was arranging with an electrician to get an estimate (but that seems to have stalled-out).

Missing Interior Walls– Requires an electrician to complete their work before the insides can be finished-off. I stuffed-insulated as best I could around what remains-to-be-done (years ago).

Old Insulation– There is no insulation in any of the downstairs floors. I am uncertain what the entry/ bathroom/ laundry exterior walls are filled with (never having had reason/ desire to cut one open, take a look inside). The upstairs landing/ bathroom/ closet exterior wooden-walls have vintage pre-1950s ‘uselessness’ inside: being the coldest areas of the house in winter (come summer: the hottest). Might those walls qualify for cellulose blown-insulating, by you?

Foundation– The last time I got into that crawlspace I got hurt, then stuck (for nearly an hour (days before anyone would have noticed)). I do not know what condition that-all is in there other than the few holes I can see daylight through (which rodents and outside-air make use of). Any help would be appreciated.

Roofing– I am hoping RC1 could handle that: they'll be here to take a proper-look, eventually. TC1 also indicated the possibility of getting a roofing estimate, last I heard.

Energy Audit and Inspection– It has been a decade+ since anyone-qualified inspected this place. It would, of course, help to know what's really wrong here, everywhere (rather than taking my word for it, unknowingly): what's going to fail next/ when, where's best to start and how/ why, with whom?

Everything Else– I understand and appreciate your limitations. It looks like this will take the help of several groups to get my house pointed-away from ‘condemnation.’ Collaboration would be appreciated between these entities: such to avoid wasted-effort, misunderstandings; maximize efficiency, minimize homeowner ‘oopsies.’

Inquiry– Do “walls to the outside” include those that (partly/ mostly) face exterior (un)insulated porches? That would describe three of my downstairs ‘east-wing’ missing-walls; two others face but the bare-outside, one faces the kitchen, the last-pair between office and living rooms: eight walls total to finish-off the downstairs.

Be well.
“Silent”

----

[Tuesday:]
Town Charity 1 (TC1),

RC1 will either repair the roof or handle the electrical (should my situation pass their approval-board process (their president's optimistic, upon first-glance): which won't even be brought before them until a month-or-so from now). CC1 is unable to offer assistance with neither prospect.

Do you happen to have a preference for which TC1 might generously help me with? Note: RC1 rough-guessed the electrical would come in at around/ under $5,000. Didn't even speculate as to the roofing (without looking; which wouldn't see remediation until summer). But perhaps a local electrician/ roofer might be more inclined to offer a better discount: neighbors helping neighbors and such (fingers-crossed)?

My preference would be for electrical: so then can I resume stuffing insulation (such to better ‘weather’ the forthcoming winter) in preparation for drywall, regarding which CC1 stated: “there is a possibility this could be covered” for “walls to the outside.” [Awaiting quantification.]

Be well.
“Silent”

----

[Yesterday:]
Local Landscaper ø (LLZ),

[Been awhile since last we crossed paths. Hoping all's well, or at least going better than with me…] I have been physically disabled for over a decade now: my property has fallen into disrepute along the way. Might your company provide any charity services for struggling neighbors? Any help would be appreciated. [The Town might be able to cover some of the cost: I have an appointment soon(ish) to determine what that situation may be(come).]

Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

----

<UPDATE> Town Welfare (TW),
[That Monday: (after our appointment at the local police station…)]

While awaiting written-word from the others… Regarding "Safety"… [A keyword you kept dropping?]

Nature– Vine-choked trees, teetering drunkenly/ menacingly towards us. Electrical, Septical– Not up-to-code: significant issues? Wood Stove– About to start using again, as the primary source of heat… stovepipe, air-intake, chimney-sleeve, new chimney-feed, old ‘capped’ chimney-feed: were half-assed-done a few years back by unrepentant criminals with a history of fraud (found out later)… needs to be inspected/ updated by someone licensed properly for such work, please? Ducts– Never been cleaned-out (best I can recall), likely festering/ belching mold/ mildew/ allergens. [Health+Safety?] Plumbing– Hasn't once been inspected since the previous purchase-and-sale, back in 200#. [Well-water remains questionable?] Roof, Attic– Unknown, but likely ungood: silicone caulking applied to every nail and screw atop, ten(ish) years ago (to stop the dribbles). [Mold/ mildew/ insects permeate crawlspaces?] Subfloors– Riddled with hundreds (by now) of desiccated rodent-corpses half-buried in their burrows throughout (and some in the walls): having accumulated over the past few decades of poison being dropped within easy-reach. [(over-) Saturated (unsanctionable) dirt just below main living-area uninsulated floors?] Primary Concern– Please do not declare anything ‘unfit’ unless/ until a remediation has already been arranged for (at a pro-bono/ discounted-heavily rate, preferably)? I would really rather not (in)advertently implicate my poor home as ‘condemnable’ (/find myself forced to abandon) for that which I cannot afford to fix, alone (wherein nobody would elsewise have known nothing about it had not I (foolhardily?) sought ‘health and safety’ help)… Catch(-22) my drift here? [Result: financial assistance denied.] </UPDATE>

----

[A Month Ago: "neighbors helping neighbors, take three(.two)"]
Honorable Village Leaders,

I am here asking our Town for help with my home, again. I had been asking around everywhere else: like you, there is usually no response (the first few attempts), as in: not worth your time/ trouble/ compassion.

As I understood it, previously, meeting with the Select Board means being recorded and posted online. Live, in-person, speaking to (/in front of) a group is not something I can do. The idea of begging for help (stumbling/ fumbling over my words, witnessed by my neighbors, in real-time) as a matter of public record unsettles me and triggers my disabilities.

We have all manner of small/ medium businesses (and owners of even-largers living/) based here in our Village: builders, thinkers, (alt.)energy, heating/ cooling, plumbing/ septic, ceiling/ wall/ floor, roofing/ siding/ foundation, landscaping… I suppose I am asking if my Town Leaders could help me ask them (individually/ collectively) if they would be willing to lend/ donate some time/ resources as part of a pilot-program ‘community initiative’ intended to help struggling neighbors fix-up their falling-apart homes?

Blindly asking corporations/ organizations for help, in writing, is what I have been doing for a decade now: it has gotten me nowhere, alone. I require a Local Advocate to speak (up) for me. [And yes, I have tried all the advocacy groups: who are overwhelmed and typically don't respond anymore (to me, anyways).] It is harder to ignore a ‘request’ coming from Town Hall… Me alone, knocking upon neighborhood doors and (clumsily) pleading for help would be humiliating (and doomed to fail).

Housing Situation– The electrical has been a fire-hazard for years now. There are missing downstairs walls/ ceilings. [I would really like to take a look into radiant heating/ cooling, as presently wall/ floor/ ceiling-access is fairly unimpeded.] The insulation in a few of the remaining walls is fifty+ years old, there’s none in the downstairs floors. The septic-system is suspect, as is the well-water, the upstairs plumbing out-of-commission for a decade now. Exterior door/ window-frames are rotting off, siding barely hanging on in spots. Inaccessible sections of the stonewall foundation and dirt crawlspaces are riddled with rodent tunnels. The leaky tin-roof having been sealed-shut with silicone, a decade ago. The middle chimney occasionally shits a brick. Need a proper firewood shelter (built onto the back of the neglected barn), replacing the shoddy 2x4 plastic-sheeting firewood shanty. The wilderness having consumed half the back-yardage, as I couldn’t push a mower up/ down that slope (to the crumbling firepit-patio (overlooking the overgrown pond) hidden amongst all those fallen-down trees)… but hey, it’s Home. [I cannot afford to live anywhere else anymore.]

Everywhere I go asking for help the answer (if any) is: "We cannot help you," and/or, "Try elsewhere." [I have run out of elsewheres.] There is a reason I keep coming back to My Hometown: being the only place (left) I stand a hope of finding help… The ‘outside world’ can/ will not accommodate me (/us), alone. [As demonstrated.]

Please let's see what Our Town/ Village/ Community is made of… Compassion, hopefully.

Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

----

<UPDATE> RC1 President,
Notes: A month has passed without initial contact from your contractor; TW and TC1 have been nonresponsive awhile now, awaiting word that RC1 is done-done before they'll start/ do anything; everytime I contact CC1, more possibilities have been disqualified (by their new government matrices): it would appear there's nothing (left) they're allowed to do to help (us, anymore). Happy Christmas. </UPDATE>

----

[Next Year: "the quest for compassion, continues"]
Chamber of Commerce,

To clarify, I was here asking if you would please inquire of your Community Members (individually/ collectively) if they might be willing to help out where local dot-gov and dot-org have maybe ‘fallen short’ (without assigning fault/ blame/ names) of late when it comes to helping our Struggling Neighbors?

Attached [all of the above]: Provided to document ‘the process’ of finding help (or not, as demonstrated) via the available pathways (remaining, for those with ‘difficulties’) in our neck of these woods, nowadays. Please, pass it along…

Will You Help Us?
Your Neighbor,
“Silent,” Esquire
Justice of the Peace

[No Response.]

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Question

Representation

2025/10-12

Town/State/Federal: All Emailed (along-the-way: ~40x),

Below: The downward spiral of systemic
indifference/desperation, demonstrated.

There has got to be a better way.

The wrong way isn't working.

[Kafka would weep…]

----

Town Select Board,

To summarize your one-paragraph response, as provided through the Town Admin, to my "when charity collides" synopsis, presented directly to My Town Leadership: "We cannot help you, keep trying elsewhere."* Regarding my seeking of you to ask the local businesses/ citizenry about help for (y)our struggling neighbors: No Comment, again.

How might I bring these matters/ concerns before the People of Our Town through your public quorum? [Being the ones you work for: time to consult them.] For me to do so would require an Advocate/ Interpreter… Shall you hereby again (thrice) refuse to Accommodate this Disabled Citizen in the manner required/ requested to finally move-forward (without further, deliberate delays, redirects, rejections)?

Be better.
Your Neighbor,
“Silent”

ps. * The elsewheres you pointed me back towards stalled-out, denied assistance and/or sent me elsewhere (who've done the same).

----

[No Response, therefore…]
State: Representatives, Senator, Governor, Courts; Federal: Representative, Senators,

Could you please provide me assistance interacting/ interfacing with my Town Government?

I have stumbled upon matters/ concerns they would prefer to remain off-the(ir)-record: Attached.

I require an Advocate/ Interpreter/ Authority (that cannot simply be ignored).

Happy Halloween.

Your Citizen,
“Silent”

----

State: Representatives, Senator, Governor, Courts,

Reminder: A week has passed without word…

Respectfully, don't make me ask thrice just to get the same response as elsewhere: with a finger-point towards anywhere else…

Forward-Progress requires participation (and confrontation), not more of the same: evasion.

I Come in Peace, Parley.

Your Constituent,
“Silent,” Esquire

ps. Only one of the Feds' offices responded, with a phone call. I told them that doesn't work for me, they then emailed me the phone number to somewhere (unhelpful) else…

----

[Responses (two), effectively: "We cannot help you; try elsewheres..?"]

State: Representatives, Senator, Governor('s Offices),

I have already tried every community organization/ resource, which would have gone better had I been provided a direct introduction to someone therein (with Authority), rather than lowly me knocking upon their (digital) front door, alone, being denied (safe) passage by The Gatekeepers (yet again)…

[While we're at it, I have never heard back from the Governor's Commission on Disability… Introduce me?]

What I require is an Interpreter: I do not speak politician/ government/ bureaucrat. [Sounds like American: but the words/ intentions mean different.]

What I sought, from the start, was to hold a Town Meeting to discuss ‘Town Welfare’ relating to our struggling neighbors… Town Hall wants nothing to do with that discussion, so: The People must be consulted, instead. Confrontation is required. I am unable to do that: struggling as I do with communication disabilities: I would be torn down/ apart (and humiliated) in a mere matter of minutes, alone. I require an Advocate: which nobody is willing to provide (yet).

Ignoring/ redirecting ‘the problem’ is why the sick/ poor/ disabled are suffering… Nobody in power wants to be responsible for, let alone even debate, such topics (these days). Too bad, I do. Where better than in one of the wealthiest towns in Our State to hold this public discussion (live, online)? [Let's hear from our neighbors who believe we don't deserve help… And hopefully, from some who do…]

Please, can/ will you help me ask (the people of) My Town for help with our neighbors (growing in numbers) who have been Left Behind? Happy Veterans Day.

Your Disenfranchised Citizen,
“Silent,” Esquire
[ZIP CODE]

ps. A nameless minion from the State Courts waved-me-off with: “If you are talking about your local town/ city hall, unfortunately the judicial branch does not have any authority over.” Note: Nothing further (helpful) from Our Federal Representative/ Senators, neither…

----

[Later…]
State Authorities,

Thank you for demonstrating why Advocacy is Required (and shall be provided, by you): as yet another government entity failed to address (/outright evaded, again) the concepts of: Interpreter, Advocate, Authority, Responsibility, Obligation, Civil Rights, Disability, Accommodation, Public Welfare, (Emotional) Health & Safety… How are we supposed to discuss such topics when you, All, refuse even to mention these issues/ words (in writing)?

That your Office (yet again: seeking the easy dismissal) thinks/ interprets that I am here asking the State for (personal) Funding demonstrates your misdirected focus, priorities, comprehension.

Further, that you at the Governor's Office “don't see a path” to address my “specific needs,” where the focus herein was regarding Everyone that have been Left Behind: demonstrates your {systemic, distressing} Lack of Vision regarding Public Welfare. I have shown you the problems that we, the sick/ poor/ disabled, are facing out here, alone… which apparently Does Not Compute to youse.

Are you hereby refusing to provide an Interpreter/ Advocate such that these conversations can continue (on an even-footing: employing the proper/ forbidden terminology) with mutual understanding, respect, forward-progress?

Your Justice of the Peace,
“Silent,” Esquire

----

[Later…]
State of New Hampshire,

Thank you for again demonstrating how/ why so many of your sick/ poor/ disabled citizens eventually (sooner/ later) give up (and die): Nobody can be bothered to Take Responsibility (for helping us).

For years now have I been reaching-out: all I got (with your ‘help,’ which took a month) this time, ended the same as everywhere else: with a fare-thee-well "Look over there?" and *poof, gone* goes the politician/ bureaucrat/ office/ commission (if even there was a response; which assuredly shall there be no further follow-up from). I have already (repeatedly) tried all of those finger-point elsewheres that were provided: who cannot help, offered no response, or redirected to the same anywhere-elses Our State Government (all three branches: highest-levels) just did, again. [Note: the NH Commission for Human Rights link is dead: an omen if ever there was one; speaks volumes that nobody bothered to check.]

I came here (evidence in-hand) trying to Help All the {increasingly, distressingly, forcefully} Disenfranchised Citizens of Our State. All that you seemed to see was a solitary {needy, selfish, seeking-handouts} ‘burden’ best avoided/ evaded/ dismissed… Where's Your Compassion? Or is it impossible to keep your jobs if you do anything otherwise (officially, on-the-record) to actually help those who've suffered as a result from systemic indifference/ impotence/ malice? What does that say about The System(s) You Represent? [And those you ally/ combat with?]

The Next American Revolution is coming (/has already begun): which side are you on: the Indifferents or the Saviors (of decency, respect, humanity)? Time to Declare (anew)…

Live Free Or Die?

----

[Later…]
Town/State/Federal Authorities,

To express myself in another, final way… Musically.

If you can make it all the way through without giving up (/skipping ahead/ steps): welcome to any given day in My Disabled Life (for a decade+ now)… [I would be fascinated to hear how you-all interpreted that playlist… We can still discuss the Musical without it devolving into the Political, right?]

As has been demonstrated/ evidenced over the past few months/ years (/decades)… This is what happens when are ‘allowed’ (the wrong) Attorneys to rule/ run society/ civility (into the ground): the Caregivers live in fear of being sued (/defunded/ obliterated) while the Profiteers plunder with Immunity. [At least, I think that is what I helped to (if only one-sidedly) prove herein… Disagree?]

The time has come (overdue) to Fight Back Against Tyranny/ Oppression/ Bigotry, in all its forms.

Peacefully,
Respectfully,
“Silent,” Esquire
Happy Thanksgiving.

----

<UPDATE>
Town/ Community/ State Resources/ Charities,

Should somehow have I annoyed, displeased, offended… there's good reason I've become a hermit– Strangers typically dislike/ distrust me, nature of my disabilities/ differences: as invariably sooner/ later I say/ do stuff ‘wrong.’ [Often tending to take it personally/ professionally.]

Shall it no longer be your intention/ ability to help me/ us, please just say so…
Your pervasive silence/ misdirection is assuredly worse.

Happy Holidays?
</UPDATE>

react

:#

reply

:#

expound

:#

complain

:#

power-ups

:?

un/read

lost/hold

enQueue

±

<

∧

H

B

Q:#

–

+

∧

<

What?

«-

back to alpha.DefectiveLife.org

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.80a]

alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

~

what?

preface

Idea:

Generate unique feedback to data presented.

–

based solely upon user-experience.

–

untempered by ulterior opinion.

Questions:

Can I cross-link discussions?

No.

maybe

Can I cross-post my ids to a discussion?

No.

Stackable?

One or two, of either, by precedence.

How do we read Responses to others' posts?

First, you Respond

in kind

.

Response received, requirements?

None.

*

pseudononymous.org

expounded

Change?

Don't have to, can('t).

Grab-bag?

Choose from

~

50

names

/caricatures

.

NUON tier indicator on posted Response?

Probably not.

debate persists

NON, usage?

Don't have to, can. Once a

week,

total,

per

NUON

.

Change UDO/OUS, rejoin discussion?

New name, same tier.

Complaint against UDO/OUS/NON?

Retort: NYM/UDO.

Observed?

*

Complaints. We know who posted it.

Sign up?

Initiate

thrice

, Invite once, repeat.

Donations

proudly accepted

wrote with:

valid:

What?

tag, you're it

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

~

gave

Thot:
Liz, lazylawyer, bobbi, munchkin, Ra, shat, Steve, kefa, jopr, smiles, Pretre, Angel, stabby, Maddy, doc, hbomb, loori, orientY, daniel, lahl, baldy, joo, bendi, rephill, lttlnick, BlueFairyG, suze, sioux, suuzn, emZ, janZ, jens, jules, Whopper, dbag, henry, globulon, Metty, ePJk, boo, disposablecitizen, higgy, Lauran, RepJames.

Stuff:
alpha.InspirationalAgony.epub ~ by PonderHouse
alpha.InspirationalAgony.pdf ~ by silent.
alpha[v0.99a].org.zip ~ by silent.
the dot orgs ~ by PonderHouse

thot at inspirationalagony dot org

stuff at inspirationalagony dot org

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.99a]

alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

~

thotmap, final.

H

Q:#

∨

pseudononymous.org

~ multiple-personality ids.

ComplaintDept.org

~ on what grounds?

Gen-whY.org

~ question.

Gen-Yes.org

~ inspire.

Gen-maYbe.org

~ speculate.

Gen-fYck.org

~ complain.

initiate

ImperfectLife.org

~ circumstantial existence.

WorkinDaddy.org

&

WorkinMommy.org

~ life, work, child(ren).

Single-Daddy.org

&

Single-Mommy.org

~ life, self, child(ren).

UnemployedLife.org

~ life, unemployed.

sample(s)

DivorcedLife.org

~ life, divorced.

Bitching-Post.org

~ life's water-cooler.

DeepThots.org

~ ponder, repeat.

ConvolutedClarity.org

~

it's really rather obvious.

sample(s)

respond

initiate

DecisionImpediment.org

~ what's actually stopping you.

SwellFoop.org

~ that one thing, how it changed everything.

FollowThru.org

~

what happens next.

ThotTrain.org

~

the caboose..quite often..comes first.

DefectiveLife.org

~ replacement parts requested.

FinancialAgony.org

~

ow, my wallet.

FinancialFailure.org

~ yep, broke(n).

DisabilityScholarship.org

~ please.

sample(s)

DisabledLife.org

~ life, disabled.

sample(s)

AbusiveLife.org

~ unto others, or self.

AbusedLife.org

~ unto you.

SmartFhone.org

~ digital pocket.

sample(s)

ThroneThots.org

vs.

CrapperQuips.org

~ whatever plops into your mind.

sample(s)

initiate

txtHim.org

vs.

txtHer.org

~ gender-based mis-communication.

initiate

txtherapy.org

~ deficient-medium support-system.

initiate

effingtxt.org

~ <insert>profanity</insert> here.

txtsent.org

~

what happens after Send.

allThums.org

~

tagline(s) not found.

review.InspirationalAgony.org

~ atypical perspectives.

bonus

irrelative.org

~ thematically challenged.

MedicalMaladventures.org

~ ow, my pride.

sample(s)

SelfDeprecation.org

~ go ahead, make fun of (y)ourself.

initiate

ShatHappened.org

~

now what?

meanwhilst.org

~ an other where, an other who(m).

mayhap.org

~ an other way.

2012+.org

~ a new beginning. already begun.

H

Q:#

∧

What?

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.13a]

alpha.InspirationalAgony.epub

~

legal

declarations:

–

any use of proprietary Names: acknowledged, respected.

–

all content: ™ &/or © 2012-2026 PonderHouse, LLC.

–

all rights: appropriately reserved.

–

beg, borrow, don't steal.

–

give, what you can.

–

wrote by silent.

–

thumbed in USA, NH

–

ISBN: 978-0-9913-5785-7

–

a PonderHouse publication

about

preface

thotmap

contents

What?

«-

back to alpha.InspirationalAgony.org

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.42pr 2026/01/31]

alpha.InspirationalAgony.epub

~

about

Herein is documented the decade+long misfortune cycle of a rather unlucky fellow human. It begins with the downfall of employment. (But in fact it started many years before that.) Those details are unimportant. Only what matters is what keeps happening…

The preprogrammed sequence of events: misdirection, rejection, indifference, stress.

The format: atypical, as is the author.
The downward spiral: predictable.
The perpetual outcome: Purgatory.

There is inspiration to be found in agony.
It all comes down to what you do with it.

Presented: via outlined dot org realms, with samples included.
Best viewed: larger screen, should look/read like whole pages.
Source: alpha.InspirationalAgony.org/preface
Concept: upon expounding Ideas.

Be well.
Enjoy.

~silent.

Further Reading: discordant thots of a disabled mind

Topics: unemployment, disability, mental/physical health, chronic pain, financial failure, trauma, recovery, isolation, bureaucracy, technology, communication, innovation, sociology, philosophy, generation why, inspirational agony, medical maladventures, disabled life, advocacy.

ps. Does this ebook render really (or even kinda) wrong, somehow? Click menu/feedback, explain.

What?

(c)opyright 2012+

PonderHouse

[v0.42pr]