life, disabled.

I have crashed-out and spent my Retirement, paying bills. Nobody will afford me any Credit.

I have no income, nor any capacity to generate: I have a debilitating CONFIDENTIAL condition alongside incapacitating CONFIDENTIAL dysfunctions. Documentation explaining this has already been submitted to the proper bureaucracy.

I have not found any provision, given my circumstance, that will cover the operating cost of: a car (no bus stop out here), phone or internet (goodbye world), my few remaining (necessary) insurances, pet care.

My electricity will only be imbursed if I first ruin my (only remaining) 'good name' with my utility company by instigating a shut-off notice.. poor form; Winter's here; credit-score fatality.

Welfare no longer gives cash assistance. My dis-abilities, given Proper Treatment (which is inaccessible to me), could be remediated in less than five years.. no help there.

My Town (as are many across the nation) was handed the burden of keeping a roof over my head, while we wait.

If I had come upon this point in the process via insured Accident, my story would tell different.

My Faith in my federal/state government's resolve to assist the less-fortunate is faltering.

I worry for those that start with less and wait for more.

My Disability Appeal is three months away.

See you on the other side.

Be well.

ps. I'm still waiting for Food Stamps.
pps. My Town saved my butt there, too, again.

Politics vs. Government {position, program, process, responsibility} is a fine line


I won my Disability Appeal, back in February.
I haunt the mailbox, awaiting that first check..
 the maillady promises to honk, when it shows.
My case was decreed 'dire need,' many months ago.
My financial circumstance has only worsened.
My insurances have lapsed.. I'm fragile, clumsy.
My phone and electricity go dark, next week.
My car will get sneak-repo'd, sometime soon.
My home begins foreclosure, again, next month.
My creditors afford me little contractual compassion..
 even less, those of their very own government bailout.
They will not hold, without a definitive payment date.
Nobody can tell me when that check will be mailed..
 I wish you better luck procuring an accurate vaguery.
I bankrupted myself simply holding on until my Appeal.
I was hopeful that would be the extent of my financial failure..
 I now stand to lose all of that which I've fought so hard to hold on to.
My spirit cannot endure many more undeserved misfortunes the hands of merciless bureaucracies.
Please, help me.
Thank you.

Be well.

Notice of (full favorable) Decision until first check: 92 days

Mr. President, Senator, Representative, HUD, FHFA, Fannie Mae,

This Disabled American needs your help, again.
I qualified for HAMP v1.0. Thank you. It helped me to save my home, for a while.
(un)Fortunately, I bought my house back when the market was at its peak,
 and when they'd give away a 'discount' mortgage to anyone..
  along with a free puppy, just for applying.

I have tried (and failed) to qualify for any program out there to help me continue to stay in my home. The problems (fundamentally, now) are: my house is worth far-less than that which I significantly owe upon it, my monthly mortgage payment represents too-much of my limited income, and, Fannie's crashed-out on my couch. Plus, the place needs a new roof, there are holes in the walls with exposed electrical, and, could stand for some fundamental foundational work as well.. not dissimilar to my own disabled state. All these issues can easily be remedied with but a little more time, as now I can better grow 'capable' and 'contributory' again [thank you, Obamacare].. with appreciated understanding.

My credit, savings, stocks, and retirement did not endure the lengthy disability 'campaign's. As such, those that are in place to assist those of my left-over position all advise: "simply short sale, or bankrupt out." Trouble being, "five to ten years" would pass [if ever again] before I could qualify to buy another home.. I have one, now, one that I love, despite its obvious flaws, one that I have invested eight+ years of time/money/life into already, one that I have almost already paid for once over, one that I shall see only negative returns upon should I pursue either of the available dis-favorable 'bail-out' options.

My financial circumstance would have been far less turbulent over the past two+ years if I had simply 'quit' my mortgage when I became disabled, as many must.. I still don't want to, it would be giving up on another part of 'my life.' This is 'my land' ..something I was raised to believe every American could possess, and grow upon ..even though it too-often feels like too-few of my generation have been able (yet) to 'stake their own claim,' let alone hold on to it ..but that is a whole other discussion. The only way that I can continue to park myself and my child and our stuff where-all we've long-been is if the mortgage principal were to be reduced.. something nobody is yet willing to do.

However, the Northern Pass has begun to plow-through within sight of my place.. property values in my 'hood have been tanked, by the Town, already. *!For Sale!* signs are popping up like pansies.. further lowering what is already lowered. As I understand it, this is happening all along the 'proposed' power pathway.

Perchance, are there any considerations in place for a pilot program to help those proximal to the Northern Pass.. perhaps, like a special trial-run HARP v2.1 wherein such properties might/could possibly be re-assessed/valued/financed as low(er)-income housing for those that intend to remain/move-in, preferably soonish..? I would be honored to participate, offer my feedback, enthusiastic support. This is the only circumstance I could dream up in which I/we keep my/our property afloat, fueled by disability alone, for now.. Believe me, I've done tried everything else I am capable of, at present.. and I know I am not the only citizen stuck aboard the lower decks of this particular sinking ship.

Got another lifeboat handy?
Be well.

life, disabled.


My MBTI: INTJ. [40% F]
My Sign: Capriquarius.
My Jeans: 30x30.

I seek new friends, firstly.
I am intelligent, snarky, resourceful, atypical.
I am quite quiet, and shy, until I get to know you.
I can find/make the funny/best of almost any situation.
I have a pool table in my barn, a fire-pitted patio by the water, and a hammock under the black walnut tree.
I don't play an instrument, video games, D&D, nor read comics often.. but many of my friends do.
I am divorced, amicably was a few years ago.
I have a #-year-old child, some of the time.
I have wheels.

I own my cozy old home in the woods. [barely, as don't we all]
I have worked in landscaping, retail, theatre/studio/stadium tech, systems admin, special education.
I've also been known to tinker in troubleshooting, interwebs stuff, pro-audio, production, publication.
I am plotting and scheming and acting towards a better future, for all.
  Got any great Ideas..? Let's chat.

I SEEK, in potential 'better half': [≥75%]
A real woman [«- non-negotiable] who is healthy, strong, kind, caring, honest, (com)passionate, motivated, coordinated, flexible, sweet, witty, clever, patient, understanding, forgiving, cuddly, adorably flawed. A strong sense of wonder and curiosity, is a must. A proper respect for down-time, in balance with her adventurous spirit, would be nice. She must love herself, her life, her doings, her planet and its peoples and its critters. She must be willing to call me on my sh*t when I'm full of it.. I will do the same. The ability to take a joke at her own expense, then fling something impressive right back, is a plus. Bonus points for appropriately applied sarcasm, on the spot. Nerds and geeks (of any flavor) are always appreciated ..esp. as new friends.. Commonality of likes, interests, dislikes, usually helps ..find some/any ground herein to build upon.. A rocky life path having already been traveled does not trouble me ..we've all been wrong and stupid, had our arses kicked, hopefully [!] learned from it, moved beyond.. I seek smooth sailing [to mix metaphors] from here on out. Statistically, supposedly, I am best-fitted with either ENFP or ENTP ..but don't let any of this stop you, especially if you enjoy proving math wrong.. She must be able to turn me on with but a wink and a crooked smile by the desires implied, promised thereby.

Favorites: [current or long-standing, non-delineative order]
~ Books, by: Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Jim Butcher (Dresden Files), Dan Champagne (Abaddon Trilogy), Stephen King (Dark Tower), Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Bill Bryson, George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, Larry Niven, Michael Crichton, Shel Silverstein, Bill Watterson.
 –Pass: (non)fictional tragedies, (auto)biographies, romance, 'tween/YA (some worthy exceptions).

~ Movies: sci-fi, fantasy, (oc)cult, supernatural, dystopian, alt. history/future/reality/dimensionality, superhero, anti-hero, intelligent comedy, adventure; Luc Besson, Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams, etc.
 –Not so much: gratuitous violence (torture, über gore), artsy-fartsy (for no other purpose), chick flicks (without a happy ending ;).

~ TV Shows: Star Treks, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, etc., X-Files, Supernatural, etc., Simpsons, Futurama, Stewart/Colbert; always willing to try S1D1s of afore-related movie genres.
 –Not often: socially awkward comedy, crime dramas (95%), cooking; anything socialite, shopping, finances, gospel, politics, the news, twitter/youtube-based, 'reality' tv, elimination contests, sports.

~ Tunes, by: Maynard Keenan (Tool, a Perfect Circle), Trent Reznor (NIИ), Tori Amos, Ben Harper (et al), Björk, Thom Yorke (Radiohead), Henry Rollins, Johnny Cash, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Morphine, Rusty Belle, Mike Patton (Faith No More, Tomahawk), Sia, Smashing Pumpkins, Epica, Ihsahn & Ihriel, Arcturus, Igorrr; (classic) rock, avant-garde, (black) metal, bluegrass, folk, local bands.
 –Thumbs in ears, tongue outstuck: twangy country, showtunes, opera, rap, hip/hop, gospel [respectfully].

~ Food: I'll try just about anything, three different ways.
 What I will end up liking is more than as much as usually I don't.. simply, because I love getting cooked for.
 –Veto'd: mushrooms, heavy creams, fried chicken, fishy fish (that's not of sushi semblance), coconut, tofu.

I'm really good at: problem solving, critical listening, overthinking, advising, giving a damn.
Known for being: mostly reliable, fairly useful, overtly honest, humor-inducing, affectionately friendly.

'Typical' weekend evening:
 I don't tend to wander far, wide. [≤35 miles]
 –Not: at the bar, at a club, amidst (unfamiliar) crowds.
 –Usually: in the warm glow of fire, food, family, friends, tunes; tv or movie, phablet or book.
 –However: the gentle persuasions of a lovely lady will (more often than not) get me out and off my lot.

First 'Date': low-key, low volume, preferably.

Per example, for those who put stock in such…
Fictional INTJs:
~ Gandalf the Grey
~ Professor Moriarty
~ Agent Starling
~ Captain Picard
~ Officer Ripley
~ Doctor House
~ Van Helsing
~ Mr. Miyagi
~ Mr. Darcy
Famous INTJs:
~ Stephen Hawking
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
~ Sir Isaac Newton
~ Lewis Carroll
~ Nikola Tesla
~ C.S. Lewis
~ Bill Gates
~ Ayn Rand
~ Karl Marx
~ Ben Franklin
~ Andy Kaufman
~ Edgar Allan Poe
~ DeForest Kelley
~ Buffy Summers
~ David Lynch
~ Katey Sagal
~ Janis Joplin
~ Al Capone

Something else you want to know? Clarifications?
 Form-filled questionnaires leave much unanswered.
 Got some pre/dis-qualifiers you'd like/need to ask?
  Ask. [..otherwise, we'll never know for sure..]

  –No.. I'm not looking for pants-off dance-off, right away. But that's real sweet of you.

¡Please! No pervy creepers, no head-gamers, no evernutters.

Be well.

ps...still with me..? Cool. Tag, your move.

pps. To [slightly mis-]quote Winston Churchill— "When you have to shoot a man down, it costs nothing to be polite about it." A simple "No, thanks" in response to a humble outreach (as opposed to ignoring him) makes clear your nonintentions, putting the poor guy out of his misery, instead of leaving him open-wounded on the battlefield, pining for his lost love…


[click pic to advance]

bountiful booty

Dear Webmaster,

I figured, if there's anyone at "MegaMart" that is still allowed to use their email, it'd be you(se).
Can you please pass this one along..?

Dear Lawyers,

I have made six requests (frice through Support Chat and twice over the phone) during the past five weeks for somebody to please provide me my support through email. This has not yet happened.
It appears that your Support Staff simply cannot Accommodate this differently-abled decade+long customer.
Ask anyone, I get flustered when I get frustrated while trying to explain myself over the phone, all of which happens quite readily. Also, Instant Messaging causes me anxiety.. I shan't be expounding upon that one.

I have important questions about my business' future.
Mine are not the sort that have 'instant' (or familiar) answers.
As in all things, I would prefer due consideration be given, after ample browsing undertaken, before a response is posted.
Please, an email regarding that-all below is what-all I've sought, being the only method I can.
Thank you.

ps. It's my birthday, tomorrow.

"Domain MegaMart,"

I could use some kindly help.
I have an Idea.. well, more than a few, actually.
The basic premise is [subject to rebranding]
Please, give it a look. Snoop around. It is there to inspire thought, questions. [links are in red]
It attempts to explain (and show), as clearly as I am capable (at present), my concept for open-source domains. [see to the sample(s)]

You folks know better than most which domain premises work, and which don't; what shines brightly, for long or short, and what fizzles even before it begins.
To clarify.. I'm not looking to make money here, that's not my qualifier for domain success.
I am seeking/hoping/asking of/for advice, guidance, suggestions, and/or assistance such that then we may offer the same to those others that might just need it, as well.
I, myself, can barely jockey a computer, anymore.
I have other problems, too.
I just want to help.

My first question– Is there anything worthwhile in my (sub.)domain(s) proposal(s)?
Second– How might I go about making something/anything useful/productive happen there?
Third– Would you folks, perchance, help me to get that something started, somehow, in some way?
Fourth– Should I, instead, simply auction off the entire lot, give up, go home, eat a cheeseburger?

Please, let me know.
Thank you.
Be well.

ps. Please, don't (ask me to) call.


"thank you
we do not offer
always looking for best
will share suggestion
unable to provide
here is one link
hope that helps
best regards"


"MegaMart Minion,"

Form-letter web-links are often helpful, but not what I was after.
I do not feel like I've been helped.. point in fact, I feel more like I've just been summarily relegated to the round-file.
Do you so readily dismiss all of your customers that cannot speak up for themselves?
Is this what I am to take away from years of loyal patronage?

Be better.

~four days later~no reply~


Is this what passes for "Award-Winning Support" these days? Shall I be writing a letter to said award-issuers? And mayhap to a few other places, as well? I like writing letters. It seems about all that I can do (well?) nowadays. Or.. could we please start over, perhaps? Both try at this again?

Be well?

ps. I did a G search for "MegaMart charitable" appears the answer of awhile has been "eh, not much." Oh, unless you count the efforts of the NAMEs. But, as I understood it: founder + former ≠ your karma, any longer.



I am writing to Appeal your latest Food Stamp Determination.

– I have no additional source(s) of income, yet.
– My Social Security Disability hasn't been altered.
– I am back in school, such that I might improve upon myself.
– My mortgage payment went down $100. I finally made up for an escrow deficit.
– I just changed homeowner's insurance, at the wrong time. I have a new escrow deficit.
– My previous car was a limited edition with 60k miles on it, but wouldn't pass inspection.
   I fair-traded it for a lesser-car with 100k miles, which would pass inspection, this year.
– My monthly fhone, electricity, car/life insurance, medications haven't changed.
– You decreased my food stamp benefits by $### a month.
   Verily rendering it unhelpful.

Kindly, explain your maths.

Is it because I've kept a balance on my EBT card?
Allow me to elucidate…

My fridge/freezer up and died on me a few months ago, while fully stocked, when I wasn't around to notice, all hands lost. I haven't yet raised the funds required to replace it. I've been eating out of a dorm-room mini-fridge. Not much space inside. I've nearly exhausted my emergency supply of dry, canned, saucepan goods. My evening class is at the same/only time as the Food Pantry is open in my hometown. I've been saving up my food stamps for when I do procure a proper fridgeplacement, as it'll have to be stocked, with condiments, produce, and such. I was looking forward to again preparing decent meals in my own home, soon.

That extra $100 saved on my mortgage the past few months gave me a chance to breathe…

– I got my first haircut in over a year.
– I fixed my brakes, which had sounded like I was dragging a sack of cats behind my car.
– Speaking of cats– mine hadn't gotten a proper checkup, nor updated vaccinations, in two years.
– I was able to resupply some essentials– like good tp, plastics, soaps, dental, shaving gear.
– I had enough spare gas money to re-attend my weekly disability support group.
– I thought I'd be able to afford a merry xmas for my #-year-old child, this year.
– I was able to reinstate BRAND DVDs through the mail, for entertainment.
– I invested in vaping gear, such that I could/did finally quit tobacco.
– The windfall hadn't yet allowed for new socks, underwear.
– I still cannot afford high-speed internet, nor television.
– Now, I am without sufficient food resources…

Care to help a brother out?
Be well.

ps. Or mayhap, I coulda used that extra hundsky to get me some Medicare B…

perchance, new Category? 'that which drives you.'
life, disabled.


I cannot kayak, swim, snowshoe, run, throw a ball. I cannot roughhouse with my daughter. I must play carefully with her, always. If my neck gets twisted, or I get jolted, I'm down on the floor, whimpering. Not something a #-year-old can truly comprehend as not her fault, nor should she have to see.

I cannot pull a rake or shovel snow. I cannot swing an axe, a hammer, a dead cat, without damaging myself. I cannot turn a screw. My home and yard have fallen into disrepute while I've watched, helpless to do anything but feel helpless about it.

I cannot stand, or sit around, for more than a spell. I cannot sleep on my left side anymore. I have only a few upright hours a day, then I'm flat-out the rest, doing little productive. I can barely jockey a computer now… My stock and trade for 20 years. No matter the interface configuration, I've exhausted them all. Even my thumbs go arthritic-claw after an hour on a smartfhone/tablet.

I am back in school though, one class a semester, to better myself, and my future prospects, once I get better. Straight A's. Fortunately, the payments on my tuition loans are nil, for now.

I wake up and fall to sleep hurt, every day. My mental health is deteriorating, resultant. I will not take opioids. We all know where that leads. I was nearly sucked down that black hole when first I was injured.

I receive foodstamps. A whole $16 a month. The rest of my food comes from the local pantry, where donation quality has suffered of late. Dented foreign-brand cans, junk food, tertiary cuts of expired (then frozen) meat, nary a fresh fruit or vegetable to be had again 'til Spring. I splurge twice a year on take-out pizza: garlic and pepperoni.

I haven't purchased new clothes, music, books, or other media, in four years. I've been living without home internet or TV just as long. My car only gets two tankfuls of gas a month. I'm on heating and electrical assistance. I certainly cannot raise the funds for surgery, nor the requisite pre/post-op procedures.

I cannot afford Medicare B. I would have to forego my mobile phone, and car/life insurance, to cover that monthly cost. Not a viable option. I've contacted the public-aid services. They cannot help me as Social Security already does, "too much so" to qualify for any insurance/deductible/medication assistance.

Both my PCP and your very own doctors concur that surgery is required to fix me. No question, my injury is the linchpin of my disfortune. It has prevented me from moving forward and contributing, instead of just receiving, which doesn't sit well with me. However…

I require, and ask kindly for, your assistance. I'm fragile and weak, in constant pain, getting worse, and going nowhere with my life, for years now. All because of my condition. Something I have no ability to do anything about. Believe me, I've done tried, every other which way.

Please, help me.
Be well.


"South American River,"

I am writing to follow up on your considerations for EBT acceptance.

Given your latest endeavors to tackle the grocery industry, you have a unique opportunity here for proper application of the SNAP. You could show others how it should be done. Mayhap then they'll follow your lead…

As a retail powerhouse, you can carve your own path. As an online marketplace, the case could easily be made that the applicable rules be different from other grocers. Be the first to enact responsible usage of the program, by only allowing ‘real’ food to be charged to EBT, as opposed to your competition. And, by offering healthy full-meal kits, to ensure we can get a few balanced dinners a week.

I would assume there's state/federal databases somewhere that show what foodstuffs are purchased with EBT. If they're not tracking UPCs, shame on them. It'd be fascinating/disheartening to see how many bags of BRAND are bought with taxpayers' money monthly. And, would serve as a solid example of how the program is being misused. [Sorry, BRAND, you're not real food.]

Gather some studies (and guidelines) from nutritionists, medical doctors, psychologists, that demonstrate the deleterious effects of junk food on health (physical, mental, emotional). They aren't hard to find. Calculate how much money is being wasted on non-nutritious foods. By vendor, if possible. Draw up some charts that detail how much better you could serve the public interest. Then approach the USDA and present your plan to save money, improve health, better apply their program's intended purpose. It is difficult to refute hard data, while making it easier to justify policy change.

My inspiration for this letter, and how you could aid in properly feeding the poor, came while standing in line at a membership warehouse. I witnessed a morbidly obese customer successfully charge a fifty-pack of candy bars and five pounds of jelly beans (alongside bulk chips, cookies, soda) to her EBT. I was angered (and a little disgusted) to see that blatant misuse of the program (as a form of state-assisted slow suicide). That was obviously never the intent, but a sad reality of its inherent shortcomings.

Kindly, help do something to mitigate these issues. You're the only retailer with the vision/compassion/wherewithal to do it right, finally.

Be well.



Requiring your patrons to declare aloud that they are using EBT as payment is rather uncouth. Often, earshot customers (and even cashiers) give an unconscious, ungracious sideways glance when they hear that.
To avoid this, I instead tried simply holding up my card when the question arose. Four out of five times the cashier stated, "EBT." Again, generating dirty looks.
You should consider upgrading your POS to silently pose this question, or automatically deduce the payment method when swiped. Privacy, and all that.
I am forced to reconsider my choice of grocer based solely upon your unintentional sensitivity blunder.
It is not conducive to positive customer relations to ‘out’ the poor upon their every visit.

Be better.